Tuesday, July 11, 2006

When I am a published author...

Someone else will clean the toilets.

Someone else will run clothes to the cleaners, take packages to the post office, sort out the problem with the bank, take the car to get the oil changed, pick up the medicine, kill the giant spider, skim the pine needles out of the pool and fix dinner.

Someone else will call the insurance company and plan the fish’s funeral. Someone else will make dentist appointments, stay on hold with the cable company for half an hour, and find Barbie’s other shoe. Someone else will pick up my skirts from the tailor, print contest entries, change the toner in the printer, finish printing contest entries, sort out the problems in that pesky paid job I have, and call the RWA office to see why my account still says my membership is due.

Someone else will do all of that because I will be busy writing a book.

(Okay, Rhonda, you can quit laughing at me any time now…)

Maybe the published life isn’t as glamorous as Jackie Collins would lead us to believe. From what I’m told, after I’m published, I’ll get to do all of that AND write books*.

It’s a nice dream, though. It rates right up there with the one where I swing gently in a hammock and read a book while handsome shirtless men in kilts fan me with palm fronds and bring me icy margaritas.

So now you know how my Monday went. Nope, I didn’t get a lot written.

But there’s always today, right?

After I take AC to the doctor and call the hotel about the luncheon and…

Tomorrow. I promise.


*Except for the part about the toilets. I’m serious about that. DG and I have a deal.


Linda Winstead Jones said...

Thanks, PC. I needed a laugh to get my day started. :-)


Angel said...

Ahhh... what a lovely dream! Can the shirtless men in kilts visit me too?


Smarty Pants said...

I think I'd settle for being able to stay home and write instead of going to my day job. This will be especially true when I have short people running around. Right now I at at work 10-11 hours a day, then come home and write, then cook and clean and kill the giant spider and a bunch of other stuff.

I think I need to buy a hammock...


Playground Monitor said...

Maybe your cleaning lady can work one day a week for each of us?

And I want my fan-bearers to be wearing loincloths. :grin:

Oh cabana boy!

Smarty Pants said...

I was seriously thinking of asking for a "house cleaning" gift cert to Merry Maids or something for Christmas. Of course, I'd have to clean the house before she came because you can't clean carpet or counters if you can't see them for the junk piled up.

Of course, the in-laws are coming this weekend, so as good a motivator as any.


Maven Linda Howard said...


When you manage this miracle, let me know. I want to come watch and see how it's done.

Sheryl M said...

As a former merry maids employee, trust me the expense isnt justified in the end. You can get the same services alot cheaper from an individual(not to mention said individual isnt out to meet corporate quotas). But that fantasy sounds so.......fantastic!! Can my fan bearers be buff 30-somethings..loincloths and kilts optional!

Rhonda said...

You're right, PC--I *was* laughing. Too funny. Alas, until you can afford a WIFE for yourself, then you're pretty much stuck. :-)