The lists keep getting longer and more elaborate. There's the packing list that I keep adding to. The list of papers I need to remember to take with me. The babysitting schedule I'm forcing my husband to create when he'd rather put it off to the last minute. Directions on how to feed and take care of my kids (they're still SMALL, so I think it's ok for me to be this detailed). And let's not forget my schedule, the one that tells me where I have to be each day that I'm gone—travel, checking in, volunteer time, editor appointment, classes… And yes, Mavens, I've even scheduled in some down time (and party time!).
I've obsessed about what I'll wear. I've obsessed about what I'll do. I've obsessed about what I'll say, where I'll sit, what I'll take, where I'll go, how I'll pitch… what I'll pitch. And each time I have to stop and breathe, because nothing will be gained by these whirling thoughts other than more nerves.
I wish I was an extrovert, that I could take new situations and people in stride, be energized by the excitement of it all. Instead I've mentally set aside three days to crash once I get home. Oh, I'll have to move around. Cook. Clean. Take care of my sorely-missed children. But I know I'll be brain-dead for at least that long. Probably longer.
But despite all the panic-and the ruthless struggle to control it—I wouldn't miss this for the world. Not the endless shopping trips and pitch meetings with the Playfriends (or at least we were supposed to be discussing our pitches). :) Not the lists or last minute rush or even the week away from my family. Because it is the experiences that make our lives what they are. And I have a feeling these will be memories I'll cherish for a long time.
Now, I know I'm not the only one obsessing around here. What's on your mind? How do you deal with it?
Angel
Challenge Meter:
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The writing has been slow this week, with numerous life interruptions. I was supposed to finish my first draft by yesterday, but as you can see, I haven't. My new goal is to finish by this Friday. If next Monday's post isn't 100%, feel free to give me h*ll over it. :)
7 comments:
In defense of extroverts...it ain't all sunshine and rainbows over here, either.
I didn't get one of Counselor Shelley's handouts last week (what's that saying about the cobbler's children and no shoes?), so someone will have to walk me through some relaxation techniques.
Just don't let me go and go and go until I get overloaded and frazzled...
I feel fine until I start listening to you all get excited, then I start getting all nauseated too. I'm sitting in Houston learning Oracle and my stomach is all knotted and I'm stressing out about Atlanta. Ugh.
SP
Oh yeah, I'm an extrovert, but I still manage to panic :-)
Of course, the fact that today went to h@ll in a handbasket first thing this morning isn't helping calm those edges :-) I have a to do list a mile long and none of them included putting out multiple fires at work.
Oh well, I'll find the time to get everything accomplished by next Tuesday. At least my Mom agreed to watch the girls at my house that morning so I don't have to get them up at 5 AM.
Instigator
I need a new pair of strappy black shoes with something sparkly and a low heel to go with my kick @ss halter top and pants I got nationals. Shoe therapy, most definitely.
SP
Linda said : "I'm prepared for blisters, insomnia, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, nuclear war, hotel fire, and stalkers"
In case of emergency, go immediately to Linda's room.
I went off alone for the weekend to clear my mind and get myself positioned for this week, which will most likely end up being the week from hell. I know I should just wear the sparkly dress I already have but keep thinking I should get something new even though I'd be spending money on a limited-wear item.
I have a partial list made and have already started dumping things to be packed into the spare bedroom. It's "packing central" now.
I'm all for the meditation, relaxation and the shoe parade. :-)
Note to self: talk with DH tonight about taking me to Angel's house at o'dark thirty next Tuesday.
Well, I'm feeling better now that I have a new party dress. And totally impractical shoes. I know, I know... but I couldn't resist the sparkly stuff, especially reduced from $80 to $26 at Parisians. :)
Yes, meditation would be good for me. I'm trying to remember to do the breathing exercises now, so they'll be more of a habit while I'm gone.
Now if I could just get this darn book finished.
Angel
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