The lists keep getting longer and more elaborate. There's the packing list that I keep adding to. The list of papers I need to remember to take with me. The babysitting schedule I'm forcing my husband to create when he'd rather put it off to the last minute. Directions on how to feed and take care of my kids (they're still SMALL, so I think it's ok for me to be this detailed). And let's not forget my schedule, the one that tells me where I have to be each day that I'm gone—travel, checking in, volunteer time, editor appointment, classes… And yes, Mavens, I've even scheduled in some down time (and party time!).
I've obsessed about what I'll wear. I've obsessed about what I'll do. I've obsessed about what I'll say, where I'll sit, what I'll take, where I'll go, how I'll pitch… what I'll pitch. And each time I have to stop and breathe, because nothing will be gained by these whirling thoughts other than more nerves.
I wish I was an extrovert, that I could take new situations and people in stride, be energized by the excitement of it all. Instead I've mentally set aside three days to crash once I get home. Oh, I'll have to move around. Cook. Clean. Take care of my sorely-missed children. But I know I'll be brain-dead for at least that long. Probably longer.
But despite all the panic-and the ruthless struggle to control it—I wouldn't miss this for the world. Not the endless shopping trips and pitch meetings with the Playfriends (or at least we were supposed to be discussing our pitches). :) Not the lists or last minute rush or even the week away from my family. Because it is the experiences that make our lives what they are. And I have a feeling these will be memories I'll cherish for a long time.
Now, I know I'm not the only one obsessing around here. What's on your mind? How do you deal with it?
42,125 / 50,000
The writing has been slow this week, with numerous life interruptions. I was supposed to finish my first draft by yesterday, but as you can see, I haven't. My new goal is to finish by this Friday. If next Monday's post isn't 100%, feel free to give me h*ll over it. :)