Thursday, August 16, 2007

Little Instigators

Baby Girl is growing up. It's something that every parent wants to see, their child building independence and self reliance. However, it's also difficult for me to watch my baby push my help away. Things I used to do for her she no longer wants or needs me to do. There's an element of missing that feeling of being needed.

There's also a sense of loss of control. My three year old angel has decided she is perfectly capable of dressing herself...panties completely optional. In fact, she prefers to go without. When I mentioned this to the other playfriends their comment was that she was my child. I'm sure I don't know what they mean.

On the other hand, Sweet Pea is a 6 year old going on 16. If that child tells me whatever one more time I think I'm going to scream. She and I butt heads constantly - probably because we're soooo much a like. This week she experienced her first grounding (after putting a hole through our hallway wall. It was an accident but...) She wants to act and be treated like an older child so we decided it was time to give her an older punishment. She dissolved into tears when we told her.

It did do the trick though because while her sister went outside with DH to ride on the 4 wheeler and play in the pool she had to stay inside, do her homework and not watch TV. She did not like that at all. However, it hasn't stopped her from saying whatever. I can't figure out how to stop that. I'm open to suggestions.

Watching my girls grow has brought me some of the most delightful and heartbreaking moments of my life. There are times when I see them as distinct and completely different personalities with none of myself or DH inside. And there are times when they seem to be complete replicas. It's amazing to see the mesh of new and old, familiar and unique.

Even so, I would prefer that unique not include my 3 yr old going commando. Anyone have suggestions on how I can get Baby Girl to wear panties (without resorting to a knock-down drag out fight? It just isn't worth that...)?



Barbara Vey said...

Good luck with the no panties. My niece got called to school last semester because her first grade daughter wore a skirt, but no panties. My niece insists she checked her before school.

So, before school...brush teeth, check...comb hair, check....put on undies, double check.

Stacy S said...

I have no clue. I used to go down the street when I was little & strip completely. Not that I remember.

Rhonda said...

Instigator, bless your heart. My Mom had the hardest time keeping clothes on my little sister. Probably start a panty check, as Barbara suggested.

Angel said...

I think this is one instance where even if I had to force them on, they would go on. I've learned with mine to pick my battles, but those battles I do pick, I win. Even if I have to sit on them to follow through (and I mean that literally).


Pat L. said...

Maybe you could tell her wearing panties would keep bugs from crawling on her skin. Too gross? LOL.

Maven LJ said...

I have a granddaughter the same age as your oldest, and man, they grow up too fast these days. She also hits me with "whatever" now and then, and also seems to be 6 going on 16.

The 2 yr old, however, LOVES her panties. She's very particular, though. I knot this because I took her shopping. Maybe you could let your baby pick out some special panties she wants to wear.

Since we're talking about little girls, I must admit that both my granddaughters, even the little one (maybe especiallyt he little one) have my love for shoes. My husband says I've infected the grandchildren with my disease. To which I say -- disease? :-)

The word is plaiep. I feel like I should say "excuse me."


Kathy said...

I always told the kids, we wear clothes, that's what we're supposed to do. (#3 liked to strip down and stand at the front door displaying himself for all to see) Afterward, I expected them to do wear their clothes. When they didn't, we put the clothes back on. I think the thing to remember is not to make something big out of this. It'll turn into a control issue. Just remind her that everyone wears panties. Tell her that's what separates us from animals. LOL.

Hugs. These little battles seem HUGE but, in the long run, remembering them will make you smile.


Jen said...

Two suggestions. Take her shopping and let her pick out her own, new panties as Maven LJ suggested. Hey, under five bucks for a six-pack at Wally World. Second, give her a choice -- she can wear them on her little hiney or on her head. Her choice. ;-) Hey, you could also point out that big girls wear panties -- as illustrated by her big sister and her mom.

Problem Child said...

I agree with everyone else--let her pick them out and then do a panty check. (Then hope she doesn't take them off as soon as she's out of sight.)

We used to have 'naked time' for AC when she was little. She had to wear clothes the rest of the time, but every evening she could release her inner nudist. Maybe you could have a little commando time for Baby Girl.

Playground Monitor said...

Years ago there were two little boys on my street who would have peeing contests in their front yard. I have no idea who those boys were. *blinks innocently* There was a delicate balance to that situation - stop the behavior without making them feel their bodies were "bad." Solution was to have them hold their contests in the backyard.

I think the same holds true with the panty issue. You don't want to make her feel that her body is bad, but you have to convince her that society expects you to wear panties in public (and yeah, Britney, that applies to you too :grin:: )

Could it be she doesn't like the material? Are they lacy and scratchy? Or too tight? I think the suggestion to let her pick out her own and make a big fuss over them is good.

And maybe you could make a chart for the fridge. She gets a gold star for every day she wears them and when she gets a certain number of gold stars you make a trip to the dollar store (gosh I love the dollar store!).

Good luck!


Smarty Pants said...

All good ideas - picking them out lets them choose what they want. LS LOVES her Dora panties, My Little Pony, Care Bear...she probably changes them 3 times a day she like them so much.

Going along with naked time, maybe you can have a rule like - commando OK at home, not OK when you go to school, out, etc.

As for Sweet Pea - I'd say add a penalty every time she says "whatever." Make her put a quarter in a jar, do a chore, etc., every time she says it. The evil mom in me just envisioned a sign she'd have to wear around her neck for 5 minutes everytime she said it (including in public) that says "I speak like a Valley Girl." Probably a little much, but a couple ideas...

Instigator said...

I speak like a Valley Girl. I love it, SP! You're going to be a wicked, wonderful mom!

All these suggestions are great! Thanks everyone.

And actually, just recently Baby Girl did have a rash from a new pair of panties. She has ubber sensitive skin and had a reaction to something on them (bad mom forgot to wash them first. I'm just not used to having to do that with brand new clothes). Of course, this problem started way before that...


Smarty Pants said...

I guess when my kids are born, I should start a 529 and a money market account to start saving for their therapy. :)

Rhonda said...

SP, you are going to make a wonderful Mom!

Lynn Raye Harris said...

Naturally, I'm showing my age, but I used to loooove my day of the week panties. :) I think the suggestions to let her pick her own are great. Make them special. :) No idea how to deal with the whatevers.

My BIL's daughter is into saying 'ain't' now. Drives them crazy. They just make her say it right every time, though it's sometimes a battle of wills. They always win though. :)

Rhonda Nelson said...

Aha! I think I may have figured out how to post through Blogger again. Woot!

Instigator said...

Yay! Glad to have you back in full force, Rhonda.

Work verification: aqkrokp Is that the sound the ground will make when it finally starts raining again?

Nini said...

Well, i'm late. Usually i post in the morning, but today was first day of teacher meetings for school. I can't believe how many teachers are complaining about their little ones. I have a big one. I want to complain too!

As for the no panties...don't make a big deal. I love the school is panty time, at home, before you go to bed is no panty time.

The 'whatever' i get from my students all the time. I have a chart with names on it. Being in 6-8th grades, i tell them if they can not use that word and use a different one, one that has more than 3 syllables, they can have some free time. But they can't use 'whatever' in school for a certain amount of time.

I do love the sign: I speak like a Valley Girl, but she won't know what that is.

Charge her $$ for each time she says it. Five cents, a quarter and keep the money in a jar where she can see it. It might make her stop.

Hmmm....verification is cgnsu...did i sneeze?