Tuesday, May 31, 2011
It's summertime and the mom is guilty...
Today is the last day of school. AC is quite excited, but me… not so much.
Oh, I’m glad for the break from the after school activities, the homework hustle, the pulling-a-grumpy-child-out-of-bed mornings, and the unscheduled trips to the school because AC forgot her lunchbox.
But I have a book that needs to be written (thank you Lovely Ed for the extension) and child-at-home is not good for my process. It’s not that she’s disturbing me (which she does sometimes. She likes to be fed on a regular basis), it’s the guilt I feel.
When she’s home, I feel like we should be doing things together. I want to spend time with my kid even though I know she’s perfectly happy to rewatch Harry Potter movies in her PJs on the couch all day and would rather do that most of the time. It doesn’t make me feel less bad about l letting her do that so I can work, though. Even though the work brings in money that buys the Harry Potter DVDs and the PJs.
Ah, Mom Guilt. It’s so much fun. A dual-edged, dammed-if-you-do, dammed-if-you-don’t reason to feel guilty for just about anything.
So I’m coming to a bit of an agreement with myself – and AC. A couple of hours in the morning for me to work and her to veg in front of the TV or her computer. Then, we’ll spend time together at the pool or something. Paint our nails, braid our hair, that kind of thing.
And I will then suffer Writer’s Guilt – that guilt that nags at you when you could be writing and aren’t (and gets worse the closer you get to deadline).
So, again, I’m caught between a rock and a hard place.
There are two words that will save me though… Sleep-Away Camp. Five whole days when I’ll have the house all to myself while DG is at work (strangely, I have no Wife Guilt ignoring him when he’s home and I need to work. And he can feed himself. And me, too.).
Or should I feel guilty for sending her to camp… sigh.