Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I don't why, but they do...

Fears, phobias, neuroses... we’ve all got ‘em. There’s a sub-category, though, that I can’t decide if it goes under “fears” or “phobias.” It’s the “freaks me out and gives me the willies” category. These are the things that make your skin crawl but other people look at you like you’re crazy when you admit it.

Now, as crazy as my list may be, Counselor Shelley assures my Darling Geek that as long as these things don’t keep interfere with living a normal life, they’re really not problems that require therapy– no matter how strange DG thinks they are. (Of course, Counselor Shelley can turn her eyelids inside out and that’s just gross and cringe-worthy, but that doesn’t stop her from doing it just to watch me squirm. Yeah, she’s real helpful like that.)

So, my list of “things that freak me out and give me the willies”:

#5: Gerbils. ‘Nuff said there. There’s nothing about a gerbil that doesn’t make my skin crawl. Ugh.

#4: Crunchy Peanut Butter. It’s a texture thing – smooth and creamy with bits in it, too? Blech. It’s just wrong.

#3: Water Chestnuts. I know they don’t taste like anything, but I swear the sound and the texture makes me think I’m eating a bug.

#2: Teeth. Specifically loose teeth that need pulling. (My skin started crawling just typing that.) AC learned after her very first loose tooth not to come to me. I don’t want to see them wiggle and I sure as hell do not want to pull it. Once it’s out, I’m fine. The actual tooth doesn’t bother me – it’s the process of getting it out that just gives me massive willies. Once when DG was out of town, AC had a tooth that was about ready to be pulled. I was ready to make WonderMom drive all the way out to my house to pull it so I wouldn’t have to.

#1: Claymation. Wallace and Gromit, Chicken Run.. I’d rather watch a slasher flick where people are slathered with crunchy peanut butter so gerbils will gnaw their heads off. It would be less nightmare-inducing than Claymation. I don’t know why it bugs me, but it does. It’s just wrong. I sat through one Wallace and Gromit movie in the theatre with AC and I read the whole time so I didn’t have to see the 20-foot tall claymation bunny and be scarred for life.
And while it’s not the same type of animation, that stop-motion puppetry they used in the 60s to make movies like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer is just as bad.

And this guy gave me nightmares for years.

I can’t believe I just searched the internet for those images and posted them on my blog. I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

I’ve banned those “classic childhood movies” from my house entirely. I’m afraid the evil will permeate the walls and cause the house to be haunted.

So, there are five things about me that you may find charming and cute or you may decide I’m truly insane. (Reason number 3 I married DG is “he thinks my brand of crazy is kinda cute.”)

What creeps you out but no one understands exactly why?



PS: Everyone think happy thoughts for Counselor Shelley over the next couple of weeks and send “smart” vibes her way. She’ll be sitting her Ph.D comps in late May/early June.

PPS: Contest winners! I’m behind announcing contest winners!! Pat L, you’re the winner of some books I picked up at RT (yes, I’m very behind announcing that winner). Email me with a shipping address to claim!

And the winner of the March/April “Take a Mental Health Day” contest is Tabatha B. of Corpus Christie, TX!


Smarty Pants said...

My list of creepy things (given that clowns and squid fall into the higher category of outright phobias and fears):

1 - Birds. Seeing them migrate gives me chills. Beady eyes and pointy beaks and claws. Bleh. And yet one at a time, they're ok.

2 - Puppets/Dolls. Especially ones with googly eyes. They will wake up in the night and kill you. The goat marionettes in the Sound of Music scarred me for life. Yo-da-lay-he-hoo! I'm gonna kill yoo-hoo!

3. Eyeballs. I guess the googly eyed puppet thing is really about the eyes. Scary movies with people that have messed up eyes or eyes in the palm of their hands or something else creepy. Yuck yuck yuck. I was 23 before I got contacts because I didn't want to touch my own eyes.

4. Lotion. This is the one that will make people go "whaat?" I use it as I must, but the texture and feel of lotion totally squicks me out. Hate it. Hate it. I used to have to rub it on my mom's bad ankle as a kid, which was hardly traumatizing, but I came out of it hating the feel of the cold, slimy liquid.

5. Sausage. For those of you that like sausage, I will not elaborate and ruin it for everyone. But know that 95% of the time, I'd just rather not.

Playground Monitor said...

This doesn't fall into the "What creeps you out but no one understands exactly why" category, but I am deathly afraid of snakes. When my friend in the building across the street saw one in front of her door last summer, I altered the route I walk to the mail boxes for weeks, sure that snake was in wait to scare me too.

Remind me not to offer you that jar of crunchy peanut butter I bought by mistake. Guess it'll go to the tornado relief food drive.

Maven Linda said...

Rats. Of any kind. (And a gerbil is a rat, as far as I'm concerned.) I'm absolutely convinced all of them are carrying bubonic plague, and all of those little bubons are just waiting to jump on me if a rodent gets anywhere near.

Angel said...

Hahahaha!!! Y'all are just hilarious. PC I've always found your fear of claymation to be odd, but especially of the Christmas movies. I love them! Now, Gumby I can do without.

I have a phobia (spiders) that prompts a weird fear. Anytime my hubby walks his fingers over my back (which he does on purpose to watch me freak out) I, well, freak out. :)

I agree with you on the tooth pulling thing. I used to have nightmares in college where my teeth fell out and I can't hardy deal with the kids' teeth coming out.

How can you not like crunchy peanut butter? Its the bomb!!!

My only other major "weird me out" thing is doorways. I can't stand to sit or lay down with a doorway behind me. Must face it at all times. *shrugs*


robertsonreads said...

LOL. You ladies are RIOT today. And I pretty much agree with most comments, especially the tooth, and blood detail, Nurse Nightingale I am not! Can't stay and comment like I wish to, time to call it a day.