A friend sent me this last week from her desk calendar. At heart, I believe what it says. But lately I've had my share of challenges. More than my share actually. I've discovered who I am, thank you. Hello Universe! You can stop sending the challenges.
We blogged last week about the tornadoes that devastated our area. For me, life has pretty much returned to normal. After six days without power, I still am not quite sure what day it is, but I'll figure it out eventually. We even had a short power outtage yesterday because a transformer in one of the tornado-ravaged areas gave out. The utility company seems to think it's because the temps have hit the 90's and folks are running their air conditioners at settings low enough to keep meat frozen. How quickly we forget just how fragile our electrical power structure really is. Keep that thermostat turned up to 78 so the rest of us can have lights, okay?
I feel a little out of sync and I wish the world would do a slight quarter turn one way or another so everything would fall into place.
And in addition to the tornadoes, I've had a couple other things going on.
~ I ran into ex-husband at eye doctor on what would have been our 38th anniversary last week. We live about six miles apart and shop at some of the same stores. Yet until last week I'd only seen him at our granddaughter's birthday party almost a year ago. What are the odds we'd have back-to-back appointments at the same doctor's office, especially when I'd just called the day before and mine was an emergency appointment? At least the eye doc gave me good news. I don't have pink eye!
~ I've realized the book I had requested has big problems with the hero and heroine. When I really look at it, why WOULD she agree to let this man she obviously dislikes father her child? Do I just chunk it altogether? Or do a complete re-write? I think I know how to fix this in theory. But I’ll need to sit down and brainstorm just how to make it work and how to deal with the row of dominoes that will tumble one after the other after I make that first change.
~ Living without power for 6 days and figuring out how to make sure everything was taken care of (like getting money transferred to my checking account so my auto drafts for bills wouldn’t overdraft my account) left me with a feeling of pride. I discovered I’m a little tougher than I thought I was. I saw on a friend’s FB page that being without power was kind of like camping, but with a really great tent and a soft bed. I won't dwell on the fact I hate camping.
Ex-husbands, no power, rejections – or realizing your book has a big flaw that would probably cause it to be rejected – can be paralyzing. We allow wallowing on the Playground, but only for a short time. Then we get up, brush ourselves off and tackle things head on. I'm working very hard to brush off the dirt.
Oh, and I’m definitely going to have to check into this calendar. My friend has sent some other sayings from it and it has some pretty good stuff in it. And as for being a bitch, what’s wrong with Being in Total Control of Herself. Or Beautiful Intelligent Talented Creative Honest?
What's paralyzed you lately? And what did you learn about yourself?
5 comments:
What has paralyzed me lately? Mostly, death. When I say I've been to more funerals in the last month than I had in my entire life previous to that, its no exaggeration. They were all hard, but the last one was the worst because I had to watch someone my age unexpectedly bury their mother the day before Mother's Day. It was absolutely awful.
Layer that on top of weather disasters, cancelled vacations, financial difficulties and other personal tragedies... not even a really, really great revision letter can get me excited. I'm doing the work, hoping for the best, but I think nothing short of The Call will pull me out of this funk.
Ladies,
Please hang in there and know that I will have you in my prayers. God is not going to let you ladies go through more than you can bear!
Lately I have been blessed. I have realized today that normally this time in the semester I am swamped with work and ready to pull my hair out, but right now I am good and not crazy with work.
Have a wonderful day.
I've had a few personal problems in the last six months which brought me to a complete and utter standstill. I couldn't eat, couldn't think, just couldn't... What this made me realize about myself is that I had changed as I got older, grown more complacent. I refused to get agitated and argue like I used to. WELL...Not anymore. The BITCH is back. I had pushed aside my true nature and it was killing me. I think the adage, "To thy own self be true" is my new motto.
I think the biggest thing I've learned in the last year is to allow myself TIME and SPACE. I've spent a year struggling to help support my family, and it has been tough. But we are finally blessed to be in a place where I'm not worrying how the hell we're gonna pay the next bill.
But I still haven't stepped out of survival mode, and right now I'm trying to "power down". We won't starve if I only take 2 resume clients a week. I have a great day job that is truly blessing my family, and I can afford to allow myself the time and space to do the things that fulfill me emotionally, and not just physically.
Putting it into practice can be hard, but I'm learning. :)
Angel
My 27 yr. old daughter has separated from her husband of 2 1/2 yrs. She knew him that long before marriage but he had us all fooled. It came as a shock because our daughter kept it from us. Besides cheating more than once and getting fired for sexual harrassment, he got physical. She didn't get really hurt other than now being scared of him. And they just bought a house less than a year ago and in debt from it now. The good/bad news was he had convinced her to get pregnant but she didn't. It all saddens me but somehow she will be stronger for it all - eventually!
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