- The Darling Geek can whistle; so can the Amazing Child. I cannot. Mae West made it sound so easy, but all I get is an airy wheeze. I’ve always wanted to be able to whistle—specifically, I’d like to be able to put two fingers in my mouth and do those really loud “hail-a-taxi” whistles, but I’d settle for just getting out the Andy Griffith theme. DG and AC find my inability to whistle quite amusing.
I am also unable to lift just one eyebrow. Both eyebrows, yes; just one, no. I think it would be neat to be able to show skepticism or surprise by having one eyebrow crook upward, but, alas, I cannot. The best I can do is furrow my brow, which will lead me to Botox in a few more years.
Lifting one eyebrow is also something DG can do. I’m not sure if AC can, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she could.
Counselor Shelley can turn her eyelids inside out. Gross, but yet another thing I cannot (and will not) do.
So what can I do?
- I can roll my tongue into a taco shape.
- I can hyperextend my knees until I look a bit like a flamingo.
- I can rub my belly and pat my head (but not walk and chew gum. That’s tacky.).
- I have one double-jointed finger, but I can't do anything interesting with it.
- I can pop my hips (loudly), and I can make the bones in my ankle grind together to make a very disgusting noise.
So there’s nothing really exciting on that list. Hmmm. I guess since my body just isn’t made to do interesting human tricks, I’ll have to cultivate other talents. I’m sure I’ll find a few if I look hard enough.
So what about you? What can you do (or not do, as the case may be)? Surely you've got something better than what's on my sad little list.
~~And if anyone can teach me how to do that wolf-whistle thing, I’d be very appreciative!~~
P.S. The Playground would also like to wish a very happy birthday to Maven Linda Winstead Jones!