Thursday, October 05, 2006

Unusual Day

I had an unusual day Tuesday. I expected it to go badly because Baby Girl was sick. But after a dose of Tylenol, dropping Sweet Pea off at school and a quick trip to Wal-Mart for Children's Motrin and a new Strawberry Shortcake DVD she seemed much better :-) (we won't mention the 10 times I've been forced to sit through that DVD....)

We snuggled together in bed, her watching TV and me reading the new book I'd treated myself to. I know it wouldn't have been nearly as pleasant if she'd still been sick but she wasn't (at least then) so we both enjoyed the day.

It was nice. Relaxing. I even took a nap. And fixed dinner - which is something I never do :-) I enjoyed it. Being a stay-at-home mom. Now, I'm absolutely certain SAHM's have hectic days!And I also know that on occasion I have a completely empty day at work to enjoy. To everything there are ups and downs, good and bad. But Tuesday was good. And made me really want to spend more time at home. With my girls. Taking care of my family and doing those things that get left behind because I just can't do it all.

For me it made me realize the things I'm giving up. The sacrifices I'm making - not just for myself but the sacrifices I'm forcing my kids and my husband to make as well. But even as I envy the greener grass on the other side I know that what I'm doing is right for me and hopefully right for them too.

And of course, the good day turned into a terrible night with about three hours sleep so....

Instigator

6 comments:

Lori Borrill said...

You know, I think it's the female nature to always feel we aren't doing enough. If we stay home, we should be working, if we're working, we should be home.

A friend of mine is a lawyer who recently quit her job for the first time ever. Her son is 10, her daughter 8. After several weeks off, she began debating whether or not to return to work. When she asked her children if she should stay home for good, the answer was a resounding "NO!" Apparently, she's driving them mad and they liked their lives the way it was before. LOL!!

The moral of this story: I love those days when I get to switch roles. But don't let those days give you head games. Chances are, your children are growing up just dandy, and are perfectly happy with their lives the way they are. Over the years, you might get one of those "Why can't you be home like so-and-so's mom?" but remember, if you were, they'd be asking, "why can't I have X like so-and-so has?" Because, you see, everyone's grass is greener on the other side!

Playground Monitor said...

Yep, the grass is always greener. I've been both -- SAHM and working mom -- and there were pros and cons to each. There is no perfect life. You just have to do what's right for you and your circumstances.

Hope Baby Girl gets better. And that Sweet Pea doesn't get it too.

Marilyn

Angel said...

Yep, those kind of days can definitely make you question the choices you are making. I've often done this, but in the end I always come back to the writing. Its so much a part of me that I can't give it up for any length of time.

I'm learning, slowly!, to appreciate these "change of pace" days, savor them while I can, and let them rejuvenate me for the work ahead. Its hard for me to live in the moment (I'm always thinking of what needs to be done next), but I'm trying!

Little Man is sick today too--some kind of cold with a high fever. But he'll have to spend most of the day in front of the tv, because I have client appointments to be ready for this afternoon and tomorrow morning. Maybe we'll still have time for a cuddle before nap!

Angel

Problem Child said...

I'm a firm believer that if you aren't happy as a person, you can't be a good mom. It's the "put on your own oxygen mask before helping others" thing.

There's a difference between making yourself happy and being selfish. Selfish would mean that you don't think about how your choices affect your children. Motherhood is not martyrdom, though.

I know your kids (and yours too, Angel). They're happy, healthy, and well-balanced. That means whatever you are doing is working out well.

I, on the other hand, am doing untold damage to AC and probably setting her up for YEARS of therapy.

Ain't Mom-guilt fun?

Kathy said...

As a SAHM, I often feel like I need to be working. (I did work for a few years but that begat too much chaos.) In that time, I learned that children are used to what they live. They will receive love, joy, and happiness, if it is shown them, no matter the circumstances in which they live. Whether you work or don't work, they are used to you, Instigator, as you are. That is what they miss the most when everything is out of whack. In my case, my kids wanted the SAHM again. They needed her, me, because that is what they were used to. Granted I drive myself crazy sometimes trying to be everything I can to them, it still gives me more joy than frustration. While I continue to think I could give them more by working, I know this is the right choice for us.

Spending time with your child when she is sick, reading together, quiet time in front of a favorite DVD, these are memories and a bond you are forging that will never be forgotten or broken. Baby Doll knows you're there for her. She'll call on you when she needs you but she and Sweet Pea will grow into well adjusted women because you love them and make yourself available to them.

Wishing Baby Doll and Little Man get well soon.

Kathy

Instigator said...

Thanks guys! I knew you all would understand :-)

Instigator