Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Flying by the seat of your pants


As of 7am this morning, I had nothing to write for my blog entry, so I'm flying by the seat of my pants. Shocking, I know. I'm a plotter through and through, so my mind is racing with fears of how dumb I'll sound. :)

My creativity has been severely hampered the past two days by almost constant conflict with my 5 year old, my little drama queen. My mother never told me there would be days when I didn't like my own child. I may love her, but I don't particularly like her at the moment. Mostly because I'm a people pleaser and pleasing this little person all the time isn't what's good for her. Thus, the conflict. It's good for fiction, but in real life isn't quite so pleasant.

The point to this little rant is that sometimes life gets in the way. I want to be creative right now. I've even jotted down a few awesome ideas for my newest manuscript, including a wonderful ticking clock that will give them a deadline. But I just can't devote full-time focus when I'm having to stop every 15 minutes to discipline my little drama queen. (My goodness gracious, what will the teenage years be like?)

So in the meantime, I'll make use of all the sage advice I've heard about just this very thing. I'll reread my Holiday Writing Smarts article, now posted on our website. I'll make use of little pockets of time to plot and jot down notes, while being thankful for the peace and quiet. Even if it is only 5 minutes. I'll mull over my story line and character motivations instead of stewing in my frustration. And I'll try to hold on to the belief that love can see you through anything, if I just believe in it and show it often enough.

Wow! I think I've discovered a new form of therapy. :)

Angel

2 comments:

Playground Monitor said...

Speaking from experience I can assure you that this too shall pass. Before you know it, that little 5-year-old will be married and expecting her own bundle of joy. And then you can seek your revenge -- spoil the grandchild rotten and send it home! **gg**

It's a tough balancing act when you have children. But hang in there. Christmas just seems to aggravate the situation.

Instigator said...

Angel,

I know we talked earlier today but I wanted to take my support public :-).
You are a good mother.
Now repeat this phrase ten times - because it's true.

But I know how hard it can be. I have to remind myself that I'm a good mother at least once a week - if not once a day. Usually right after I've lost my temper and yelled at my child (an incidentally begin to feel like I'm losing control and stooping to her level).

But I have to remind myself that having the driving desire to beat Sweet Pea does not make me a bad mother. What makes me a good mother is the fact that I don't give into the urge. :-)

You'll be ok. I know some days it doesn't seem that way. But PM is right. Before we know it our little girls will be grown up - teenagers yelling at us for not allowing them to have boys in their rooms or for grounding them for sneaking out at night. Oh the joys we have to look forward to.

Love Ya!
Instigator