Friday, February 04, 2011

When I Grow Up, I Want to be a Kid

Recently, the Playfriends had a discussion about naps and how you know one of your kids is really sick when they'll take a nap without complaining. Which made me think... I'd kill for a nap. I'd gladly buy one of those mats to leave at work if they'd let me take a 20 minute nap every day. I don't think kids realize just how good they really have it.

When I was in 11th grade, we had to do this self-awareness poetry all year. It was painful, really, but one of the poems I wrote (which I won't share) was about how I wished I were five again. I mean, really, that's a prime age. Six, tops. By that point, your parents start pushing chores on you and school starts tackling real subjects like reading and math. Boo. I want to be five.

When You're Five...

- You can go to bed at 7PM on a Friday night without ridicule from your friends.
- The biggest stress of your day is remembering a triangle has 3 sides and that red and blue make purple.
- Your diet can consist of nothing but chicken nuggets, french fries, chocolate milk, cheeseburgers and Pop Tarts and your doctor won't get onto you about it or your high cholesterol levels.
- If you put on some extra weight, everyone will just say you're about to hit a growth spurt - and they're right.
- Boys have cooties and for the most part, they leave you alone.
- People cook for you and do your laundry.
- Taxes and the IRS are nothing but hard to spell.
- If you're sad, candy or a trip to the park is a cure-all.
- Your biggest responsibilities include making your bed (half @ss) and remembering to change your underwear.
- People drive you around everywhere and you can just sit in the backseat and color.
- You never go over on the wireless minutes of your pink, plastic Barbie phone.
- Magic and all the stories your parents tell you are still real.
- "Hormones" are just the word your mom whispers when she talks about your older sister flipping out over something dumb.
- There is a world outside your neighborhood, but you don't know about it or any of the horrible things that might happen there.

That's just a start on why I want to be five again. What about you? If you could be any age, what would it be and why?



Playground Monitor said...

I am laughing so hard over your list. It's so true though.

It's tempting to want to go back but I've worked too hard to get where I am and have no desire to live through puberty or menopause again. ::grin::

Smarty Pants said...

See, the point is to stay five. You couldn't pay me to go through jr high again.

Liza said...

I thinking being 5 again sounds pretty great. Especially if I don't have to go through puberty again. I love naps too. I really think I could be much more productive in the afternoon if I was allowed to take a nap right after lunch.

Maven Linda said...

First, let me say how appalled I am that any portion of your junior year was wasted on "self-awareness poetry." The job of a school is to TEACH. REAL. STUFF.

Santa Claus was real. I looked cute in curls. I didn't have boobs. But the best thing about being five was living in my imagination. Wait -- I still do that.

Linda Winstead Jones said...

LOL -- love the list. When I was five I cut my own hair. I thought it was awesome, but pictures tell another story. :-)

You know, I don't understand why employers don't understand the importance of the nap. My dad is a rocket scientist. Literally. Retired, now, but he's told me many times that when he got stressed at work he would sometimes put his head on his desk and take a ten minute nap. It clears the head, gives you a chance to mentally and physically regroup. After a big writing day, I sit in my recliner and just konk out. My brain needs that break. I contend that a forward-looking employer would *encourage* fifteen to twenty minute naps for their employees. In the name of productivity, of course.


Angel said...

I about spewed my coffee a few times!!! You are so funny. Lord, have mercy.

I think 5-7 might be good ages. Happy times! If I had to go back to a certain point, I'd go back to 20. There are so many things I'd do differently, mostly just cut myself some slack. :) But I guess you have to gain that knowledge before you can see where you should have applied it.

See -- I'm not funny at all. :( That's why its good to have SP around!


Sherry Werth said...

Great post SP! Too funny!
Being five again would be pretty cool. But I'm not much of a napper so I would just skip that part. If I ever do take a nap, I seem to wake up feeling worse than I did before I took it. But I would love to play with paper dolls again! Getting a new set of paper dolls was the best!

PM's Mother said...

I must be in my second childhood -- I take a nap every afternoon! )And I don't feel guilty at all!)

Julie Miller said...

Too funny. And oh, so true. As someone who just spent two days doing taxes/books for my writing business, I'm definitely for going back in time.

One thing I'd add--when I was 5 I got a heck of a lot more exercise! I never really liked naps too much when I was little, but I'd sure love one these days.:(

Julie Miller

robertsonreads said...

Lord that was too funny. What a way to finish off my afternoon.

Yes, if I was 5, I would have my sister to play with, oh what fun.

Right now I am in a good place, living near my sisters & mom, my own 1 level garden home and I can take naps whenever I want to, i.e., yesterday school let out early, napped from 4 - 6 pm, went back to bed at 9 pm and slept until 5:30 am this morning. Yeah!

Have a great weekend everyone.

Problem Child said...

Five is a good age. You firmly believe you can do anything. Sing? Yep! Dance? Yep! Draw? Yep! The world is your oyster!

Problem Child said...

And what the hell is self-awareness poetry anyway?

Smarty Pants said...

This was in American literature, although I have no idea why. He had us keep a notebook all year to write poetry about whatever we were feeling, then we turned it in quarterly. Mine were mostly ridiculous. It was waaay better than reading Emerson and Thoreau, though. Bleh.

Smarty Pants said...

Julie - that's another great one. Exercise is called "playing" and you don't even know it's good for you!