Sunday, March 26, 2006
I'm suffering from a severe case of moodiness this weekend. Now, my husband will tell you that I'm by no means even-tempered, but I haven't been this depressed in a long time.
There isn't really any cause for it. Probably hormonal, with some tiredness thrown in. But it's one of those really ugly moods that causes you to bristle when anyone so much as says "Hello." Yuckiness topped off by guilt over feeling so grouchy. I don't like it. I want it to go away. But it won't. Not until it is good and ready.
I just can't write when I'm like this. Total and complete solitude is what I crave, which means I can't even stand to be around my characters.
I've noticed that my moods tend to affect my writing in a variety of ways. It is easier to write when all is well in my world. I'm feeling slightly confident and happy with the way things are going. Slight irritation with things or people around me can actually push me to write, because it is an escape from daily reality. Tiredness will completely shut down my creativity. My brain simply refuses to function no matter how much I tell it to produce. Sadness is something I can eventually channel into my writing, if I work on the right scene. The most stifling of feelings for me are depression and guilt, probably because they are fed by swirling thoughts that leave no room for my characters to speak.
One of my RWA chapters, Southern Magic, has a blog where authors discussed how mood affected their ability to write love scenes. I found I'm not the only one who can't write sexy in the throes of PMS. :)
Some moods I can work my way through. I often force myself to write, even if what goes onto the page is worthless, because a low mood will lift just from the act of writing. In a way, writing can be therapy for me. But I have to force myself to do it.
Hopefully, this week will be better and I'll get back on the creative track. Until then, I'll do other creative things and get a lot of projects out of the way, so I can focus on my writing when I'm back in the "mood."
How do moods affect your writing life? Do you work through them or just wait them out?