Wednesday, December 14, 2011

D*&%! I Got Autocorrected

PC Magazine defines autocorrect as "A feature that corrects misspellings and makes other grammatical changes on the fly." Those of you with smartphones know what it is. You type in "wil;" and it will autocorrect to "will."

But sometimes it fails. Like last Saturday night when I posted "And the Heisman doesn't go up anyone from Alabama."

I didn't pay attention to what posted until the next morning when a friend from church commented, "go UP? go up where? Maybe I don't want to know?"

Oh. My. Goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was supposed to be "go to anyone from Alabama." To. TO. TO

My only other big autocorrect failure was when I got my job and posted something to the effect that the job was good, but God was gooder. Autocorrect doesn't recognize "gooder" and corrected it to the word folder. God is folder. Huh?

At least I haven't had any of the massive fails documented on the hilarious website Damn You Auto Correct.

This website is not safe for work. Not only does it contain words that are often inappropriate, it's so stinking funny you'll end up laughing til you cry. And ya don't want your boss coming around asking why you are cackling like a hen laying an egg.

I just wonder if the person or persons who invented autocorrect are laughing as much. I mean, they've created a monster. According to one online source (and we all know how reliable THOSE are), autocorrect wasn't was developed by Microsoft to be used in word processing programs. And from there it has spread to smartphones.

I just wonder how Microsoft gets around the child labor laws because I'm convinced a fourteen-year-old boy in the throes of puberty came up with the autocorrect replacement vocabulary. I mean, how else would "congrats" become "bong rats?" How does an "destination" become "dusty jockitch?" "I'm selling the fridge to my roommate" became a drug deal when autocorrect substituted "drugs" for "fridge."

I ain't making this stuff up, folks. And I'm keeping it clean. Some of it would make a sailor blush.

And just to prove I am not lying, here's a photo of my own screen. In case my mother is reading, I'm still alive and kicking. No autopsy required.

Have you been autocorrected? What's your best (or worst depending on how you look at it)?


PM's Mother said...

...know how reliable THOSE are), autocorrect wasn't was developed by Microsoft to be...

autocorrect wasn't was ????

Is this your error or an autocorrect???

word verification: teffixed -- is this autocorrect for text fixed?

Cheryl C. said...

I got it on a text I sent to a friend. I asked her if she remembered a mutual friend's "B'day." When I looked back at the text it said "body." My friend never replied to the text; guess she wondered why I was asking her about remembering our friend's BODY. I am still too embarrassed to ask. The dang thing drives me crazy sometimes.

Smarty Pants said...

I haven't had any really good one, but it does throw in random nonsense a lot. 'Anal' and 'HIV' pop up a lot, as do 'whig' which makes no sense at all but its what comes up when I type 'which.'

I love that site though. Tears down the cheeks. One of my favorites - a discussion b/w a guy and his girlfriend.

"FYI: I'm dumping you when I get home tonight."

"That's fine with me. I was thinking we needed some space."

"JUMPING. I meant I was jumping you when I get home. You seriously want to break up with me?"

"Well, this is awkward..."

Jean Hovey said...

I have it disabled on most of my stuff. But I have a new tablet and hasn't gotten there yet. I want to scream at it--"DO NOT HELP ME!" I've got to figure out how to disable it.

The Heisman post--and I thought you were just dissing my boy, Trent!

Instigator said...

OMG I love I just read their top 25 list for 2011...I was howling. Seriously, this is where I go when I'm having a bad day because not only will it make it better, but I get to laugh at someone who's having a worse day than mine...usually by sending sexually suggestive messages to parents and/or bosses.


P.S. According to Rhonda Autocorrect likes to change my name to Midas. I'm wondering if that's significant in some way...

Playground Monitor said...

Autocorrect WAS developed by Microsoft. That error is courtesy of cut and paste. ;-)

linda winstead jones said...

I have this issue on my iPad. It doesn't recognize Winstead. I always end up Linda instead Jones. Heaven forbid that I misspell a word! There's no telling what I'll end up with. And because it's the on screen keyboard, there are usually many typos . . .

Angel said...

My problem with autocorrect is I forget to stop and click the little X when I don't want it. Then I have to go back and fix... Sigh.

But I do love the site. So funny!!! I read that one SP! What an awful way to find out. I mean, why would anyone text to tell you they were dumping you. Sheesh!

PM's Mother said...

What happens when Autocorrect corrects an autocorect?

Playground Monitor said...

"What happens when Autocorrect corrects an autocorect?"

Is that like a double negative?