By a romantic gesture from the Geek? I wish.By another of SP’s flying elbows? No.
I’ve been brought low by a box of Writing Playground pens.
You read that right. A box of WP pens.
See, my office isn’t tidy on the best of days, but the deeper I get into a book (and the closer the deadline looms), the more disastrous the mess becomes. By the time the book gets turned in, I’ll need a backhoe to clear a path. So the arrival of our new shipment of lovely Playground pens was met with a hearty “Where the hell am I going to put these?” My choice was next to the bookshelf in my office. Turns out, that’s not quite the best place to have the edge of a heavy box sticking out and awaiting unwary toes.
When the foot turned purple and continued to swell even after 24 hours, DG made me go get an x-ray. Sure enough, it’s broken. Of course, there’s not a lot the docs can do for a broken toe except tape it to the toe next to it and hand out painkillers.
Of all the interesting and painful things I’ve done to my body, I’ve never had a broken toe. (You’d think with all the dancing, I’d have broken a couple, but nope.) This is not at all fun. Little toe does not equal little pain. Plus, all the hobbling about has made my knee start to hurt. Sigh.
I’m supposed to stay off of my foot for a couple of days and then take it easy for about a week after that. If I behave, I should be okay by the time the HOD Luncheon comes around. I’d better be; I really don’t want to wear flip-flops to the luncheon instead of my pretty red patent-leather peep-toe stilettos. Shoe vanity has accomplished what my friends and family have tried to get me to do for years with no luck: actually follow the doctor's instructions and stay off it.
So I’m ensconced on the couch with my laptop. The rainy weather is perfect for napping, and the painkillers make napping a tempting choice. It’s tough, but I’m determined to ignore the siren song of the nap and make headway on this book.
The sooner I get it turned in, the sooner I can get my office cleaned up, and the safer my other nine toes will be.
Based on my many trips to the ER over the years, I’m convinced the docs and nurses ask you to describe what happened in detail only because they need a good laugh at the stupidity of some people. And I know I’ve given them some good stories to tell. What’s the craziest way you’ve ever injured yourself?
PC
15 comments:
When I was in HS I was practicing cartwheels, flips and round offs in the basement. Of course, I landed on an old stand up piano and broke my toe. To top it off, the next day was April 1st and our athletic banquet. I had to use crutches and everyone thought it was a April Fool's Day prank!!
I stumbled down the stairs in our old house and thought I'd sprained my big toe. But about 10 years later when I had limited movement in it, I went to the family doctor and he said I had arthritis in it. A couple years later when it was even worse, I saw an orthopedic surgeon who took one look at my toe, said I'd broken it and pointed out a tiny bone chip still there. That's the toe I had surgery on last year on Valentine's Day. I was just walking down the steps. Honest. No horseplay, no tricks. And I even had on shoes.
Hope you're up and at 'em quickly.
The house we used to live in had a sort of fence separating the dining room from the kitchen. With posts. One very cold December night (I was barefoot, as usual, but I was inside where it wasn't cold) I sort of bumped into the fence post with my foot. It didn't hurt and I was going about my business of wrapping Christmas presents when I sort of realized I'd bumped my foot (you know how you ignore things when you're busy) and looked down to make sure I hadn't broken the skin and was leaving bloody footprints everywhere. The good news was, I hadn't broken the skin, so there was no blood. The bad news was, my little toe was standing out at a right angle to my foot, completely dislocated. I hadn't felt a thing.
I was alone in the house. As I've mentioned, it was bitterly cold that night. There was no way I could get a shoe on that foot, and likewise no way I was going outside WITHOUT a shoe. So I did the only thing I could do: I reached down and squeezed the toe back into place. THEN I felt something. Once I peeled myself off the ceiling, and stopped screaming, I admitted to myself that maybe that hadn't been the smartest thing I'd ever done. On the other hand, that was exactly what an ER doctor would have done, plus charged me a couple of thousand bucks. My entire foot welled up and turned black from the bruising.
I can only conclude that toes are a menace.
Hello PC,
Sorry to hear about your toe. Hope you get to feeling better. I will write this while knocking on wood. I have not broken any bones to speak of nor had any accidents to comment on. Have a great day.
Toes are a menace. They break easily and mine are the subject of ridicule because they look like alien fingers. Also, if I didn't have them, I could fit into a size 8 or 9 shoe, I'm certain.
I have broken my little toe, too. Walking from one side of the dorm room to the other (very treacherous) I clipped the foot of the bunk beds. My foot and 4 toes went forward, my pinky toe went the other way.
I most certainly felt it. I hopped around howling like a fool for a while, then I flopped down onto the futon couch and put a frozen burrito on it. After a bit, I hopped down to the front desk and got some medical tape from the first aid kit and taped it up. All that could be done, really.
Feel better. I see the difference in your injuries now - foot injury = behaving so you can wear cute shoes. Knee injury = not behaving by wearing cute shoes. Cute shoes trump all, I suppose.
Gee... thanks.
I have to admit, though it shames me, that I laughed when I first heard about this. Only you, PC! How in the world were you so clumsy and still a dancer?
I have to admit, I've broken no bones so far and only had a few incidents requiring stitches when I was a kid. My worst experience with broken bones was my daughter breaking both her wrists earlier this year. I hope to never repeat that experience EVER AGAIN!
Angel
Ah, so now the mystery of the cryptic FB post is solved. :)
I'm surprised I haven't broken any toes, to tell the truth. I'm always bumping into things with that little toe. And howling until the pain subsides.
Oddest injury, perhaps, was the loss of my two big toenails. Never run 8k in shoes that don't fit properly. I thought they did, but I failed to allow for the swelling that naturally occurs when you run. So my size 8s should have been 9s, and my toenails paid the price. First they turned black, then they fell off, and then new ones grew back. The whole thing took some months.
Lesson learned.
My husband broke his toe doing some virtual game/exercise thing on PS2... he had no shoes on at the time. Of course, he didn't go to a doctor. Two years later, he has a bum hip because of his gait being affected by the way he walked with the broken toe. Now he needs a hip replacement.
So for want of a toe, for want of rest, he now needs a new hip.
Take heed and stay low for a while.
Its scary how something little like a broken toe can come back to haunt you like that. I actually bent part my big toe/foot when I was 3. I tripped and for some reason, the bone bent instead of breaking. I was in a huge cast to bend it back. Every now and then I get this uncomfortable twinge in that part of my foot. It never occurred to be until recently that it could be related to that.
When I answered "describe what happened" with, "I injured my leg by jumping off a dog house," at least a dozen people in the doctor's office needed to hear the story.
I was quick to point out that I had all of my clothes on and I did not say, "hold my beer and watch this."
JJ
True to the saying that no good deed goes unpunished, I was diagnosed with a broken leg. The break was in a location that did not require a cast and I had to hobble around for 4 weeks.
Have you ever tried to convince people you have a broken leg, but don't need a cast? oy!
Worst break I had was Easter Sunday when my daughter was in elementary school. We had a lovely brunch at a neighbor's house. I happened to notice an angry red line heading north in my daughter's arm--off to urgent care we went. She was put on antibiotics that caused severe GI distress. I got home, wrote notes to all the teachers as she was in a trailer--if she says she has to go, she has to go NOW!--I raced down the stairs, tripped, twirled, broke my foot and sprained my ankle. We went back to the same urgent care that day and the nurse said if we came back a third time she'd call human services--she was kidding.
The next day, DH went out of town and I was left alone for a week with a broken foot, a kid with major hershey squirts and barely able to move. The only thing I could do was call her reg. doctor and get the AB changed to something that wouldn't force me to clean up after her every hour.
Oh, the joys of parenthood.
Since we're talking toes - a full pickle jar dropped from the top shelf of the fridge on my pinkie was painful but not nearly as horrible as having an oak headboard dropped on my large shoeless toe (we were putting a waterbed together). I couldn't wear shoes for a month and was working in town so I had to cut the top part out of some old shoes - ugh. It was in the winter or sandles would have worked.
I was in my early thirties, never broke anything and broke a bone in my left foot. Hard cast 2 weeks (glow in the dark, way cool to my 4 year old) walking book 4 weeks. Hated crutches and I hope to never break anything again. Good luck and hope you heal really quick and soon.
robertsonreads
I've been to the emergency room so many times for broken bones/messed up ankles.
I was on my way to let my dad's dog out of the house when she ran in front of me and to miss falling on her, I hit the chair and broke 2 toes. I could barely get a shoe on and didn't go to the doctor for like 3 days(my boss finally made me go).
I've also torn all the tendons in my left ankle multiple times. The best was at the Dixie Chicks concert. I missed a step(it was very dark) and landed on the side of my ankle. It looked like I had a softball on the side of my ankle and I couldn't put any weight on it at all, but still wanted to stay to watch the concert. The GEC made me go straight to the hospital and I was in a boot for 10 weeks. Fun times...
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