Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Real(ity) World

Two of my must-see television shows are winding to an end.


Dancing with the Stars is down to the final three couples. Any one of the three could win, though I really want Kristi Yamaguchi to get that coveted mirror ball trophy because aside from the fact she's really good, a woman hasn't won since season one. But who amongst us hasn't enjoyed the eye candy called Christian de la Fuente? I've discovered a new hunk.

American Idol is ending too. The finale is next week and it's a toss-up who will win. David A might have lost some popularity after the media revealed his father was a backstage bully, not only to his own son but the other contestants as well. After he told his son to change a lyric and cost AI money, their lawyers banned him from backstage.

I was not a David Cook fan at the beginning. His crazy hair and rocker style wasn't my thing. But I've seen him take huge chances and improve each week. I wonder if Simon's early comment about him never amounting to anything besides a guy with a guitar was a motivation to DC to prove him wrong?
Syesha is a powerful singer, but she hasn't been able to battle these two guys. Maybe the voters will surprise us and the finale won't be the battle of the Davids.

The non-reality world is winding down for me too -- Desperate Housewives and CSI are ending. The writers' strike did a number on TV this year. I have discovered Moonlight so at least I can catch up on it during the re-runs.

Last Sunday night was the Survivor finale. Parvati won Survivor Micronesia: Fans versus Favorites and pocketed a cool million for holding off the other contestants over 39 days of rain, bugs and sleeping in a cave. I was bummed when Ozzy was voted off. He's by far the best ever player in Survivor history. I was more bummed when James had to leave for medical reasons. I agree that Erik is THE dumbest player in Survivor history and I really wanted Amanda to win.

But I read about a new Survivor series.

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and take either music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all the family's friends and relatives, and send cards out on time -- no emailing. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will have access to television only when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name; also the child's weight and length at birth, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what he/she wants to be when grown up.

The kids vote the men off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

Other than watching the Moonlight reruns and the six weeks of Monk we'll get in July and August, I guess I'll have to find something else to do in the evenings. Gee, maybe I could oh... write?

How's your TV viewing coming along?
P.S. Please pop over to the Pink Heart Society where our own Problem Child (AKA Kimberly Lang) is doing her first guest blog. Squeeeee!

14 comments:

Problem Child said...

So You Think You Can Dance Starts next week...that's the reality TV I've been waiting for

Smarty Pants said...

Beauty and the Geek ended last night. ANTM ends tonight. AI has a week left. Top Chef only has a few episodes left. Within a month there will be nothing that I watch. The 4400 got cancelled and that was one of my favorite summertime shows.

I'll have to fall back on good ol reruns of Law and Order if something doesn't pop up.

Angel said...

Really, all I'm watching right now is CSI Las Vegas. I'm hoping to catch up on Moonlight.

I'm home with a sick child today. Bummer. I see lots of High School Musical in my future.

Angel

Problem Child said...

Go Wildcats!!


::snicker::

Lynn Raye Harris said...

Unfortunately, CBS has canceled Moonlight. :( No more episodes to look forward to. :( I am SO bummed, especially when I watched an episode recently that featured Mick's chest displayed at the beach. Oh my. :) Hubby says, "You like that?" I'm like, DUH! :)

I heart David Cook. I want him to win. I've bought all his songs on iTunes. I've never cared one way or the other about Idol, but after last year's fiasco when Melinda Doolittle got kicked off before the finale, I'm hoping this one goes to the kid with the most talent. Sorry, Archie, but it ain't you. :) (Give him a few years, and get his dad out of the picture.)

What am I watching? Aside from Hell's Kitchen (which I'm meh about this year), I won't have time to watch much. Lots of writing to do!

Kathy said...

I watch AI and Dancing with the Stars too. I'll probably watch So You Think You Can Dance because the girls are into it.

What the hey? Moonlight and the 4400 cancelled? Thanks for spoiling my day, Lynn and Andrea. *sigh* They always cancel the good shows. What's with the media?

Anonymous said...

Go Jason - Dancing with the Stars. Boy he can move for a big guy. I enjoy watching CSI Miami, Gene Simmons, HGTV, some of the Food Network cooking shows.
robertsonreads

Sherry W. said...

I don't watch a lot of the reality shows but love Dancing with the Stars - when I get to watch. I missed Moonlight and it doesn't sound like I'm going to see it now. :(
Love all the CSI's - especially Miami. There's just something about the way Horatio Caine tilts his head to one side while he's talking to the bad guys....
And if you haven't watched Two and A Half Men - do. It is hilarious - reruns and all.

Jen said...

I'm looking forward to that new survivor series. >evil grin<

Darling Geek said...

The latest season of Doctor Who is only a couple of episodes old - you can still catch up!

terrio said...

I'm torn on DWTS. I like Kristi but Jason has come so far. Then there's Christian. *sigh* It may come down to a pity vote this year.

I don't watch any non-reality shows anymore. I don't have the time or energy to devote to anything "not to be missed". I watch all the Bravo ones, ANTM (goodness knows why) and this is the first year I've watched AI all the way through. I'm a David Cook girl all the way and have been since the beginning. David A has a beautiful voice but he's not ready for primetime. I think Carly should be in the final 3 instead of Syesha.

Very excited about So You Think You Can Dance. Those kids are incredible and so innovative. Rarely do you see a bad performance on that show.

Oh, and I got that new Survivor idea in my email a couple weeks ago. Too bad we'll never see that one come to fruition.

Liza said...

I didn't even really watch AI this year and just have seen a few of Hell's Kitchen's episodes. I'm mad that ABC cancelled Women's Murder Club. I really liked the show and think ABC didn't do enough to save it. Dump Wife Swap and bring back WMC!

MaryF said...

WHAT?!!! They cancelled moonlight?!! When did you hear that Lynn??? Arrrgh.

That SUCKS. That was absolutely the only show I watched.

Now what am going to do? *sigh*

Write maybe?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the photos of my new hunk too, Cristian. He played the younger love interest to older woman Dixie Carter on the extinct show, Family Law. I even love his accent.

Yes I loved Ozzie, but the men were so manipulated by the woman - they just didnt learn - one after the other fell. And I can't figure out why Parvati won. Anyone have a suggestion why she did???? I wanted Amanda to walk away with the million. I have a feeling Cirie would have voted against whoever did not take her (if Parvati had won the challenge).

Was surprised to see that Erik did change his mind and vote for Amanda. Would have loved to see the playout of James did not have to go home. Oh well, next time.

Pat L.