Thursday, May 29, 2008

Farm Fodder

I'm finding that life on a farm provides quite a bit of fodder for this blog. And apparently, according to our hits, reading about goats, donkeys and ducks interests everyone else too so here's another story I just had to share.

Late last week I woke up to the ungodly sound of one of our baby goats screaming. It's about 6:30 and I'm barely conscious but the sound is just grating on my ears. I tell the girls to stay put, throw on the closest pair of shoes and head out into the back pasture to find the little guy with his head stuck through the fence. This isn't an unusual occurrence. For some reason they seem to think the vegetation on the opposite side of the fence is tastier than the exact same damn grass on this side of the fence. The little guy's horns are starting to grow in and he can no longer get his head back through the hole once he's gotten it over there.

Only this time Eeyore has decided he isn't a huge fan of the screaming either. I walked out to find him gnawing on Austin's back. I immediately start yelling at the donkey thinking he's hurting the poor thing. Everyone's gathered around the scene - the other seven goats, our pack of ducks, the 2 geese, even the cat I haven't seen for months is sitting in the pasture watching the melee. From my point of view, the sheer volume of animal poundage is a little intimidating, not to mention the sight of the donkey's teeth in the goat's back.

I ran back into the house and grabbed the phone to call DH - cause I wasn't going inside the fence without another sane person telling me I should. I really don't WANT to go inside - hoofs and snapping teeth just aren't that appealing at 6:30 in the morning. But I KNOW I'll probably have to anyway. The problem with living on a farm.

However, while I'm on the phone with DH (who incidentally told me not to go into the fence under any circumstances and that I was more likely to get myself hurt than help the poor goat - which was probably true) I realized that Eeyore isn't actually TRYING to hurt Austin. He's trying to HELP him. I watched in complete stupefaction as the donkey, as gently and he could, pulled the goat out of the fence with his teeth. As soon as Austin was free Eeyore chased him away from the fence and scolded him for being stupid enough to get stuck in the first place.

That darn donkey's growing on me.

P.S. Yesterday's winner of a copy of Christie Ridgway's new book is Mary F! Please email Playground Monitor with your snail mail info to claim your prize. Prizes not claimed in seven days will be forfeited and re-awarded.


Jen said...

ROFLOL! I can just see them all sitting on the other side of the fence staring at this bleating goat. Too funny.

Rhonda Nelson said...

This is hysterical! I can just picture all of the other animals staring at your little goat. :-)

Angel said...

Oh, my goodness! That's hilarious. Like something you would see in a cartoon, except in real life.

Seems like you ended up with an intelligent ass. ;)


Liza said...

Good thing Eeyore is such a smart donkey. Maybe he will be able to keep the goats out of the fence from now on. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

Smarty Pants said...

That's sweet. I'm an Eeyore fan now.

Sherry W. said...

How funny! I grew up around farm animals so I feel your pain. But.. I only see you at meetings and various chapter functions (luncheon) and I am having a hard time picturing you in the middle of all that. So naturally my mind flashed an image of you wearing the cute sundress and six inch heels standing in the pasture with the animals. It's early.

Playground Monitor said...

Oh yeah... the foot jewelry would look really good in a pasture. LOL!

You should write a children's book about how the farm friends all help each other.


Problem Child said...

Fish never cause this kind of drama, you know...

Instigator said...

Yeah, the foot jewelry would drown right now in the pasture. We're pretty soggy at the moment. The creek is about to overflow which means my drive anywhere becomes a challenge (and takes at least 15 extra minutes).

Sherry, there's a reason you can't picture me on a farm. We own a farm for my husband. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've been out to the barn in the last year which is why me getting inbetween those animals probably would not have been a great idea. However, my girls love it. They are very much farm girls :-) I'm so outnumbered.

Don't get me wrong, there are things about it that I love. And I love the area we live in. But me and dirt don't mix.


Christie Ridgway said...

I love the story of Eeyore and the goat! I can't imagine what it's like living on a farm. My guys would love it. They do their best in our SoCal community, which is why we have a turtle living in the pool, a tortoise roaming the grass, and parakeets who are currently trying to hatch two eggs in an aviary out back.

Then there's the tankful of pollywogs by the back door. Surfer Guys says he wants "spring peepers," whatever those are. The dog, him I get, but I really don't have that much love for the tortoise who chases me around because he thinks my red toenail polish means I have strawberries stuck on the ends of my feet.

Instigator said...

LOL Christie! The tortoise would love our place. We have strawberry plants growing on our back deck that are putting out some really nice berries right now. The ones up front beneath the grape vines always seem to get eaten before we can get to them.


Kathy said...

Eeyore has become everyone's big brother. Love it! This really goes to show how intelligent animals are. I have visions of Babe and Charlotte's Web in my head, as well as Green Acres with Edie Albert and Eva Gabor singing their opening song. Have to do it!

Green acres is the place to be
Farm living is the life for me
Land spreading out, so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay
I get allergic smelling hay
I just adore a penthouse view
Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue.

Dada Da Dada- The Chores

Dada Da Dada- The Stores

Dada Da Dada- Fresh air

Dada Da Dada- Times Square

You are my wife. Goodbye city life.

Green Acres, we are there!

Dada Da Dada... Da Da.

Playground Monitor said...

That's too funny about the tortoise. Well, not really but you know what I mean.

We still have our rabbit woes, but hopefully the new pellet gun will solve that. The DH said he'd teach me how to fire it and I could sit on the back porch with it across my knees and pick off rabbits one by one. Kinda brings forth an image of Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies, doesn't it? ;-)


Kathy said...

"Kinda brings forth an image of Granny on the Beverly Hillbillies, doesn't it? ;-)"

Uh, yep! Jed! Jethro! Daisy Mae! Come hep me.

Kathy said...

Time for some yard kill. :-)

Sorry, I need sleep....

Smarty Pants said...

See, now my mind immediately went to Animal Farm. Creepy.

Christie Ridgway said...

Okay, Instigator, what is eating those strawberries? Rabbits?

We have strawberries too, but too high for the tortoise to reach himself (in a pot on a ledge). Which is why he thinks I am the Goddess Provider of Red Fruit.

I won't mention the long-tailed things that eat stuff here in SoCal. They like our fruit trees and our avocados and just about anything else including styrofoam pool toys. I am not kidding. Yech.

Angel said...

I am so not surprised by that, SP. ;)

Christie, I can just imagine this huge tortoise slowly stalking you for fruit. Priceless.


MaryF said...

Ok, I am late to the conversation; and any witty comments died somewhere around 3pm. *sigh*

Anyway, I was laughing at the image you painted about the donkey and the goat! I think I'd have a heart attack at a goat screaming though....

And a little side bar...I am so excited-I won Christie's book! :)