Phone a Super Friend

I used to love the Super Friends on Saturday morning TV. In retrospect, I realize it was a bit cheesy, but it was good clean fun for kids in the late 70’s and early 80’s.

Back then, Saturday morning cartoons often tried to teach you something. I learned most of my American History and parts of speech thanks to School House Rock I also learned “Don’t Drown Your Food,” and “Exercise Your Choppers on Some Good Hard Food, " and I've been known to "Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese.”** From the Super Friends, I learned the importance of having a good support system and safety net in place. Everyone needs a Justice League, ready to spring into action, with each Super Friend providing vital assistance when needed with his or her special Super Power.

Think about it. In the Great Game Show of Life, are you going to use your Phone-A-Friend Lifeline to call the one who will murmur sympathetically and try to make you feel better even though you don’t know? No! You’re going to phone the friend who has the knowledge or expertise or connections necessary to solve the problem. (You can call the sympathetic one after it’s all over.)

I have a great Justice League. The Playfriends, of course, are the support of all things writing-related. Yes, they can be counted on for the “Atta Girls” or the “Chin Ups,” but they also know a heck of a lot. Have plot problems? Need to know whether trailers are foreclosed on or repossessed? Wonder if a sentence is making sense or how to format query letters in email messages? Playfriends to the rescue! (And Marilyn can find anything on the web within minutes!)

My Justice League also includes a registered nurse who can be counted on for knowing what kinds of injuries are most likely in motorcycle accidents and what the recuperation time will be. She’s also the one to call when AC spikes a temp with vomiting and I need to know if it warrants a trip to the ER. There’s Counselor Shelley, who pulls multiple duties—does free therapy (for both me and my characters), knows all things art-related, and has a lawyer hubby. I have a friend who has the whole hardware department of Home Depot in his garage and will deliver the necessary tool to the house (and show me how to use it). There’s the friend with the encyclopedic knowledge of TV and film. The friend with the pickup truck. The friend with the great discount at Comp USA. The friend who can go into my closet and come out with a perfect outfit—and then do my hair and makeup as well. The friend who wears the same size clothes and shoes and will let you borrow them. The friend who can pull esoteric trivia out of her ass on a moment’s notice.

All I really need is a friend who understands stocks and IRAs and planning for retirement and a friend who can fix plumbing. I’d be set then.

So what part do you play in the Justice League? I’d so love to be the Comeback Kid—you know, the one who always has the perfect retort for every occasion and could telepathically send it to you within a second or two. Sadly, it usually takes me a little while to come up with something more eloquent than “Bite Me,” and you could probably come up with that yourself.

I’m a pretty good “Pot-Stirring Girl,” meaning not only will I listen to you bitch, I’ll keep the ire boiling so you’ll be ready to tell that butthead to bite you. I’m good at being righteously indignant on your behalf.

I think, though, I’m stuck with being the Geeky Grammar Girl, decked out in glasses and a plaid cape (that went out of style years ago), ready to help you cast out the extraneous commas and explain passive voice (again). Armed with my Harbrace and handy thesaurus, I’m the bearer of doom for those who dare to dangle modifiers.

Sigh. That’s just not as cool as Wonder Woman, is it? It’s not even as cool as the Wonder Twins.

So, what’s your super power (honestly, now)? When your friends phone-a-friend for help, what super strength do you provide?

PC

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