As I'm sitting here typing Baby Girl is in my lap crying, Sweet Pea is in her room sulking and the cats are chasing each other across the house screaming. I probably should have written this last night :-) But I just couldn't fit one more thing into my day/night. Everyone's schedules seem to be jam packed at the moment. Last minute shopping, parties, things to bake/cook, wrapping....
Every time I leave my house or office I end up frustrated at the traffic, everyone else seems to have the same exact things on their to do list as I do. I've never seen so many cars out on the road headed for the same places.
I know I do this to myself, trying to make Christmas perfect everyone. I even took everyone's advise from last month and cut several things off the to-do list. It hasn't seemed to help :-) Something else simply jumped into the empty space.
Someone asked me yesterday if I was ready for Christmas. My response? "I'm ready for it to be over." As soon as I said the words (which I really, really meant) I felt bad. This is supposed to be a happy time. And once I get through this week and can spend several days with my family I know it will be. It's the preparation to get to that point that's gonna kill me.
There have been many joyful moments along the way - like dinner with the playfamilies or attending our local chapter party. But the moments in between seem to be dwarfing those memories. It's hard to hold onto that fun, happy moment when you're cursing the line of traffic and the fact that you've had to sit at the same red light for 4 cycles. I know I shouldn't get upset but I do, and then I feel terrible for getting frustrated.
So, this morning, I'm taking a step back :-) I'm writing this from home. I should be scurrying around, getting myself and the girls ready for work. I'm going in late. I'm taking my time. Today, I'm not rushing.
Instigator
3 comments:
Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.
It's rough when you're the mama and so much of the responsibility rides on your shoulders. Add in a sick baby and that makes it worse. Place it all during the Christmas holidays and it doubles the effect.
Take a look at that list again and decide what's REALLY important. If the world won't stop spinning if you don't do it, then you can probably mark it off the list.
I hope Baby Girl starts feeling better soon and that life settles down for you.
Hugs,
PM
I think sometimes there is a cloud hovering over mothers. We are the ones babies come to when sick or in need. We are the ones expected to make everyone happy. On top of everything else, we end up trying to please everyone by making the holidays the best, most possible love fest anyone has ever experienced. One thing to remember when you're in line to shop or in traffic, everyone else is in the same boat. Smile when you feel rotten. It will lift your spirits. Sing a Christmas song. You'll feel an instant change. Concentrate on love, not the overwhelming list. Life is good! Life is now! Everything else will either work itself out or it won't, but love and family will never falter. Whether you get everything done or not, love and family will be there.
Take it easy. I remember holidays with 4 kids who had chicken pox. Or one Christmas Eve we spent in the Emergency room when our youngest cut her mouth open on the Church pew at the Christmas Eve service. Kids get sick, hurt, and fussy. There will always be heavy traffic and last minute shopping right before Christmas. Though it's hard, laugh it off. My recent experience at school reminds me that we are alive and have sooo much to be grateful for no matter our circumstances.
Wishing Baby Girl gets better soon and that your day gets better.
Kathy
I typed something witty, but Blogger ate it.
So ditto on what PM said.
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