Worry Wart

By looking at me, you might never guess that I’m a worry wart. Someone can announce any number of exciting or tragic things and my expression might stay the same unless I make a conscious effort. (Ever seen those "emotions of a cat" posters where the face is the same for happy, sad, angry...?) You might get an eyebrow arched or an eye roll to give away how I really feel. I guess it takes a while to figure me out sometimes. (It took DB 2 years.) This gives the appearance, however, that all is calm on the inside. Oh no. I’m probably not as bad as Angel admits to being, but I do hold all the stress on the inside. I’ve got the ulcers to prove it.


My blog last week is a case in point. Completely freaked out about my work, my reputation...for no good reason, really. My stomach just ached at the anticipation of a disaster that (as of yet) hasn’t arrived.

In the meantime, something else did arrive. An envelope from the publishing house that has my partial. It was a thin envelope. My stomach rolled at the thought that at last, my fears had been realized. A rejection. I ignored the envelope for about ten minutes, not wanting to open it and be confronted by the reality of it. When DB finally worked me up enough to open the envelope – lo and behold – a full request. The letter was so simple – “Hi, I’ve taken over this project from your previous editor. I’d love to see the full.” I’d had rejection letters longer than that.

I wasn’t ready to deal with it that night, so I just went to bed. (If you recall from my post back in February, DB has this bad habit of stacking up the mail and not telling me if there’s something critical in it. I found the envelope under a credit card offer and an insurance claim by the sink in the master bath at 10 as I got ready for bed. And no, I don’t know why he puts my mail there.)

This week, I’ve been busily dusting off the manuscript to make sure nothing has gone awry. My CP (thanks Kathy) and the other playfriends have rallied to read chapters. So far, so good. I hope to have it in the mail next week. Eek...my baby, my WHOLE BOOK in the mail to someone who actually asked for it. Oh boy. This is scary for me. I’ve never sent anything past a partial or contest entry, so this is especially hard. Once I drop it in the mail, it’s out of my hands and I’m at the mercy of the editor gods.

Anyway, I guess worrying doesn't do much good. Action is the only thing that can help or hurt you. So, I've stopped worrying - about the sky falling at least - and have been working my best to get this book ready to go. It may not be what the publisher said they were looking for, but they requested it and maybe it will just be too darn good to pass up. :)

What do you worry about most (that you can't do anything about)?

SP

PS. I'm not posting my word counter this week. I think I got 4 or 6 pages in before my letter arrived and I've been in the zone ever since. If this book doesn't sell, the sequel makes no sense!