Just Talking to Hear Myself Speak

Our weeklong trek to Disney was a lot of fun considering it was my first real foray into parenthood. I had Little Sister, who is six, for a solid week with no parental interference. All me. If she ate, bathed, or got punished, it was me. No pressure. I think I did pretty well. LS had been properly threatened and was on her best behavior most the trip. I also had the other Playfriends for back up, including my roomie, PC. PC is a great wife and we worked well together. Darling Geek is very lucky, as I'd snap her up for myself if we could both date other men.

To amuse myself as the days went on, I started keeping track of the best phrases of the week spoken by the grown ups. Some were the most used, some were just too amusing to forget as I managed to run into some odd conversations with the kids. Many of them were said repeatedly because no one would listen to us. I swear, Disney makes kids hard of hearing. Here we go...

10. "Go to the mouse."
This was one of the first phrases as we went to dinner at Chef Mickey's the first night, complete with character interactions. The characters move quickly. They want to sign those autograph books, take the pictures, and move onto the other 150 tables they haven't been to yet. For some reason, the kids required coaxing to get up from their seats and go to get their photos done, hence the command "go to the mouse!" (Variations include bear, dog, duck, princess, etc.)

9. "That is not one of your grown-ups."
The general rule was that the kids always had to be within sight or grasp of one of their grown-ups. It could be any of us, but you had to be near at least one. Very often, the kids would zone out and start to walk away with, stand too close to, or start tugging on someone not in our group. At this point we would have to yell "That is not one of your grown-ups" or one of the variations "Stay with your grown-ups," "Grab one of your grown-ups hands, please," or "That is a lovely woman, I'm sure, but she is not one of your grown-ups."

8. "Get your ______ out of your mouth."
Apparently this is an epidemic. One kid starts out putting their fingers or other items in their mouth and the next thing you know, you're constantly saying it to all of them. LS took to putting her lanyard in her mouth. I have no idea why. Aside from simply being unhygenic in a place where millions touch every single surface, we were battling off the threat of swine flu and constantly on the hand gel and wipes. I think this was one of the most used phrases of the week. I probably say it in my sleep now.

7. "Do we need to go back to the hotel?"
A much used threat followed closely by the variation "maybe we should just stay at the hotel today" if we hadn't managed to leave before the threatening began. Whatever crying or whining or pain or suffering they were going through, it was never bad enough to go back to the hotel. They'd usually straighten up then. Or start crying harder, then straighten up.

6. "You don't need that."
Apply this phrase to every multicolored, plastic, fuzzy and character themed item in every park. The Disney folks know just how to place the most tempting things at kiddie eye level. The kids each had their own money to spend, but I admit I steered LS away from silly things I would have to carry and more toward nicer (and smaller) keepsakes that wouldn't be such a burden. As it was, she got a bracelet, picture frame, sunglasses, mouse ears, a Tinkerbell t-shirt, candy for her friends and classmates, tattoos and her face painted. I think that's adequate without adding a gigantic stuffed Minnie Mouse.

5. "We are at Disney World. Disney World! Stop asking me about the _____."
Fill in the blank mostly with swimming pool or bathtub - at least in our room. Our resort had large spa tubs and a big pool with a waterslide, which is very cool, but we can swim and bathe in Alabama. We cannot meet the Fairy Godmother and ride Splash Mountain in Alabama. It took quite a bit to drill that into the kid's heads.

4. "You are dressed like a lady, please act like one."
All the girls had fluffy princess makeovers with costumes on Tuesday. There were extensive discussions about how one acts in a ball gown. Twirling with a full skirt is acceptable. Princess waves and nods are encouraged when addressed by your subjects. (All cast members referred to the girls as "Princess" and Little Man as "Prince" as we went through the parks.) Fence climbing and lizard catching are frowned upon. Sweet Pea argued with me that she was in pants because she was dressed as Jasmine and Jasmine was, in fact, the kind of princess that would catch lizards. I had a hard time arguing that one.

3. "Please just stop touching one another."
Followed closely by "Do I need to separate you two?" Put kids together in a car for 12 hours and they will pester each other. Put them in the car for 12 hours after spending the most part of the last week together and its war. They cheat at Go Fish. They don't follow the rules. They bicker about who gets to be what character in whatever pretend game they're playing. They look at each other wrong. They just need time apart. And so do the adults. :) All and all they did well, it could've been much worse.

2. "Do you want chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger?"
Sadly, this is mostly a reflection of the kids dining plan at WDW than anything. Some places would offer the occasional spaghetti or mac and cheese, but 9 times out of 10, the kids would get to choose between a chicken nugget meal, a cheeseburger meal, or maybe a cheese pizza paired with fries, grapes and a chocolate chip cookie. Most the kids didn't mind except Amazing Child and her expansive palate, but even I got tired of it and I wasn't the one eating it. LS was happy as a clam.

1. "This is the happiest place on Earth - act like it!"
This one got thrown around a lot. Its amazing how in a place with so many things to make kids happy, it is so easy for them to get cranky. Start with humid 90 degree heat and long days on our feet. Add scratchy costumes, standing in lines and minor tragedies like lost items and you've got a recipe for child meltdown. The 7 Dwarfs should really be renamed to Whiny, Grouchy, Picky, Hungry, Weepy, Sassy and Nauseas.


What are some of your favorite phrases for traveling with kids?

SP

Just a bystander. Honestly.

I didn’t plan to go to Disney World this year. I certainly didn’t mean to. After all, I did the Disney thing last year. I’m still trying to erase the memory of “It’s a Small World” from my mind.

But a couple of months ago, I was calming eating my grits at the monthly Playfriend breakfast, and the next thing I knew, I was swept up into the Disney plan.

The upside is that I’ve had to do nothing to plan this trip other than write SP a couple of checks and pack a bag. Insti and SP are travel agents on speed with an agenda and a plan and a timetable. Do not stand in their way. Smile and nod. Write a check. Do not question the vision.

I’m blown away with their attention to detail and their plan to squeeze every drop of coolness out of Disney possible. They’ve planned an amazing trip that the Playkids are going to be talking about for years to come.

(DG is a bit disappointed he can’t go – after all, when we went last year, he was recuperating from the flu and survived on toast and blue PowerAde. We’ll miss him, that’s for sure.)

The Control Freak has been out-Freaked this time. My clipboard and color-coding hang their heads in shame when stared down by the spreadsheets and matching t-shirts. But AC is going to think I’m the bestest mom EVAH for taking her on such an amazing trip – for which I will happily take credit, even if I didn’t plan a single thing.

Because I didn’t mean to go to Disney this year. Honestly, it just happened.

PC

Amuse Marilyn with your stories of being swept up into something without meaning to be and her favorite story will get a PC Disney prize pack!

Are We There Yet?

Today is the day. Once school gets out, every Playfriend but PM (who will be holding down the swingset) will be loading up children and hitting the road for Florida. The plan is to breakup the 11 - 12 hour drive by going half-way today and the rest tomorrow. This is for the mental stability of the Playfriends and the physical well-being of the Playkids.

We're going in three cars (it was decided that although we had the room, 8 people in the Playmobile would be asking for trouble) and loading ourselves down with all the necessities - portable DVD players with headphones, hand-held gaming devices, coloring books, stuffed animals and if need be, cough syrup. Just kidding. Well, maybe.

I might be delusional, but I'm hoping that our later departure and split group will encourage the kids to sleep some. All together its impossible, but like I said, its a hope. Little Sister and Amazing Child will be suited in their PJs and hopefully will conk out sometime after Montgomery. Don't laugh. A girl can dream, but I know when my mom took me to Disneyland when I was 6, we stayed up ALL NIGHT in the car. We were so excited we thought our brains would explode. Mom was not pleased.

But sleep or no, tomorrow will be a fairly easy day on our schedule. Depending on when we get in, we might take our first tour of the Magic Kingdom and meet up with Mickey, Goofy and Donald at Chef Mickey's. Maybe catch some fireworks or scope out the pool. It will be chaos from there on out, so hopefully we'll sleep well that night, if nothing else. That is, of course, if one of us doesn't commit homicide on the way there. Keep us in your thoughts. :)

Have you tackled a massive road trip with small children before? Any tips or tricks we should know about before we go?

SP

PS. Don't forget that next week, we're running our Keep Marilyn Company contest! We'll be giving out nifty prizes from Disney each day to one commenter, so be sure to pop in next week and keep PM from getting too lonely.

Up to My Elbows In Buttercreme

I should've known better than to take on cake decorating as a hobby. Combining sweet confectionary arts with my sedentary work and other sedentary hobbies is just asking for a bigger rear end. I spend most of my time at the computer, reading or scrapbooking (read: sitting). Why couldn't I like to hike or rollerblade or something? Nope. Not me. I like artistic pursuits, which includes decorating pastry in super sugary goodness.

At the moment, I have two cakes under construction at my house. As Instigator mentioned, this weekend is the Playkids Birthday Extravaganza. To go along with our Pirates & Princess theme, one is a chocolate pirate ship and the other is a vanilla tiara pull apart cupcake-cake. I can't complain because I volunteered to make the cakes. For one thing, the grocery store wanted $80 for the pirate ship and $32 for the tiara cake and that's just crazy. Second, like baking and decorating. It's fun. I'd like to think I'm fairly good at it. It also has the potential to be fairly lucrative as a side job at some point.

But it also has the potential for eating. Scraps, stray buttercreme icing, extra fillings, etc. Even if I don't eat a bite of the resulting cake, I'm surrounded by tasty opportunities.

I'd honestly like to do more cakes. Practice and try new skills and methods. But I simply cannot have a cake sitting around my house each week. People laugh at me when I try to push extra cake on them, but its an absolute must. I don't want to eat it. Scratch that. I do want to eat it. Which is why it must go away.

What's your favorite kind of cake? Fillings? Icing? Whenever I watch those fancy cake shows on tv, the couples are always ordering something strange like pistachio cake with mango coconut filling. Boggles my mind. I wouldn't ever think to put something like that together. I'm trying to expand my portfolio, so share what you like, please.

SP

P.S. The winner of last week's website survey contest was Lois! Please email me at smartypants@writingplayground.com to claim your prize within 7 days. Thanks!

P.S.S. Remember to send your questions for the Playfriends to Playground Monitor at playgroundmonitor@writingplayground.com. Ask us anything about writing, craft, the business, our lives, etc. and we'll answer them the week of conference.

Reality bites.

So, we’re at church the other night (yes, we go to church) doing some Christmas stuff. AC is at a table, working on a craft project, when here comes The Boys.

The Boys. That’s what AC calls them. They are the boys from her Sunday school class, and, well, they’re 7-year-old boys. Loud. Rambunctious. Loud. All arms and legs and shoving and pushing. And did I mention loud?

DG and I are across the room doing something else, but we hear the approach of The Boys and the ensuing boys-versus-girls cootie-fueled melee. DG goes to referee.

When he returns, he’s muttering about The Boys and shaking his head.

“Get used to them,” I said. “They’re going to be around for a while. You’re looking at AC’s Youth Group, you know.”

“Mutter, mutter, loud boys, mutter, mumble.”

Off-handedly, I added, “Heck, AC will probably date at least one of them.”

That brought the mutters to a halt. Talk about shock and horror. The look on DG’s face was priceless. Then a murderous gleam appeared in his eyes as he eyeballed the group of 7-year-olds like he could figure out which one might put a move on his daughter in eight or nine years.

Poor DG. No father is ready for realities like that. If it weren’t so funny to watch, I might actually dredge up some sympathy for him while he struggles with the fact his daughter will be boy-crazy one day. If it weren’t so funny, I might even quit reminding him about it. (Nah, I gotta get my kicks somehow.)

Thankfully, boys still have cooties, and AC is more interested in Hannah Montana than the Jonas Brothers. She does seem to like Troy from High School Musical a bit, but I think that’s more because she thinks she’s supposed to – even if she’s not sure why.

DG encourages the cootie belief – is relying on it – because right now, he’s the coolest boy in her universe, and he likes it like that. When the cooties wear off, who will play Lego Star Wars with him on the Wii? (Hint: It won’t be me.) Losing his top spot as the #1 male in her life is going to be tough.

I guess I’m just cruel. Teasing DG about AC’s future boyfriends keeps my own sadness at the fact she’s growing up fast at bay. It’s still funny, though.

The Boys better watch out. DG is watching them verrrry closely now…

PC

How are you handling – or how did you handle – the fact your kids really do grow up?

Ah, The Days of Youth

I shouldn’t leave putting together my blog topic until Sunday night. I usually don’t. Typically I’ll mull it over throughout the weekend, so I’m pretty set by the time Sunday night rolls around.

Unfortunately—or fortunately, depending on how you look at it—I had a very busy weekend. My husband took off work and booked us into a hotel Friday night, where we went to the movies, out to dinner, and some window shopping. We also bought a bicycle for my belated birthday present. Yep, this 30-something year old asked for a bike. I haven’t had one since I was about 15, but I’m now the proud owner of a purple Sunflier. It’s pretty and I didn’t fall when I tried it out. Hopefully that’s a good sign.

I got home in time to run the kids to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, where I spent the entire afternoon trailing Little Man while he played games. I’m glad the kids had a good time, but I consider that place my personal version of H*LL.

Sunday the Playfriends and families headed out to a local water park and spent the day getting crisp around the edges. I’m not usually an outdoor cat—I burn VERY easily—but I love to swim and enjoyed this very much. With that many children, there is going to be a bit of drama at some point (why does it always have to be one of mine that causes it?), but we made it through with only a few tears. His and mine…

Wow! Now that I have totally bored you with my weekend activities, I guess I should say something inspiring and tie it all up in a nice little relevant bow. Well, I’ve got nothing for ya at the moment. Nothing the least bit profound. Sorry.

How about this for a discussion topic? Just like the bicycle, I hadn’t been to the water park in many years, but as a teenager we used to go every summer. Seems like this might have been a weekend for getting in touch with my younger self again. Or at least the things I used to enjoy back then. What about you? What is one activity you’d like to revisit from your younger years that you’ve let fall by the wayside because of age, weight, or lack of time?

Angel

PS. This Thursday Nicola Cornick will be here at the Playground. Instigator has been raving about her book! Check it out.

The Children and Playkids

I would love to tell y'all what a wonderful time we had at our Luncheon this weekend, meeting and hanging out with Roxanne St. Claire, celebrating PC's first sale with close friends and the Mavens, but I had a realization last night: having the Monday blogging spot, I tend to tell y'all all about our weekend fun and no one else gets to blog about it. Easy and fun for me, not as fun for the other Playfriends. I'll leave them to tell you all about it later this week. Although, BTW, Roxanne is the sweetest person! She's helpful, funny, and just wonderful to hang around. It was great to meet her after hearing so much about her from PM. Squeee!

Instead I'll tell you a little story about AFTER I got home. I didn't get back to the house this weekend until after my children were in bed Saturday night. Driving home was an adventure in and of itself. (Deb, my hubby says thanks for the heads-up on the wine! He's grateful!) But after talking over our weekends with the hubby, I crashed around 11:30pm. Nothing invaded my sleep from that point—not a noise or movement. I don't think I shifted my position by even a centimeter, I was so dead asleep. But at 4:30am, I blinked awake without a clue as to why my heart was suddenly racing and my ears were searching for sound.

Suddenly, I heard a faint and familiar cry. My son. Suffice it to say, both of my children have gone through periods where, instead of waking up naturally and going potty in the middle of the night, their bodies don't wake up enough for them to navigate the dark, and they wander around in their rooms trying to figure out how to get to the bathroom. They cry because they are actually still asleep.

Realizing what was happening, I stumbled from the bed, crossed the hall, and called out to him. Finding him more by instinct than sight, I picked him up and we headed for the bathroom. Now, I can describe this, because he's 3, though he'll probably kill me later in life. I settled him on the toilet, then sat on the rim of the tub until he finished, because he was swaying, still drowsy enough to act drunk, which is SO CUTE on a kid that age. :)

Then the sweetest thing happened. All of a sudden, he seemed to realize it was Mommy there beside him. The Mommy he hadn't seen all weekend and didn't know was home. He turned to look at me, eyes glassy and dazed, and this HUGE grin broke out on his face. My heart contracted, and I couldn't help smiling back. He was so happy to see me.

Then his gaze wandered around aimlessly for a few minutes, finally settling back on me, and he tossed out that same grin. I had to stifle a laugh this time, because it reminded me of the type of drunk that gets all touchy feely when he's liquored up. (I know, don't hate me because I've compared my child with a lush. It was just funny!)

He repeated this action several times before his eyes started drifting closed. As I snuggled his body close to mine, carried him back to bed, and tucked him under the covers, I sported a little smile of my own. I'd had a great time out with my friends, but he made me so happy to be home....

What makes you grateful to be home?


Angel

The World's Best Mom

And no, it’s not me. Pigs aren’t airborne yet. I’m giving props to my mom today.



(A little background—Mom isn’t living in town right now. She moved back to Tennessee several months ago to help care for my grandmother who’s having some health issues. Hopefully, she’ll be able to move back sometime this summer.)

So we got back Friday night from the whirlwind trip to Scotland on the world’s worst travel itinerary. Despite my plans to work on my book while I was gone, I didn’t accomplish much due to, well, due to lots of stuff. Saturday morning, Mom calls to check in and I bemoan my lack of progress and worry out loud about how I’m ever going to get this book finished with AC home all this week for Spring Break. She commiserates, but she’s not much help from four hours away.

A couple of hours later, she calls back and tells me if I’ll meet her half-way, she’ll take AC to Tennessee for the week.

The whole week.

Leaving me the week to work on these revisions.

Yippee!

See why I’m not the world’s best mom? I packed AC’s bags and headed to Chattanooga. Now I have the whole house to myself while DG’s at work and I should be accomplishing tons.

I should be, at least.

Unfortunately, being gone last week meant a ton of stuff landed on my To Do list for Monday and between the phone and the emails, not much got accomplished book-wise.

So if I’m AWOL most of today and the rest of the week, you’ll know why. It’s because I’m trying to make the most of the time I have to get this book done. If I’m going to suffer the Mom-Guilt of shipping my kid off with just a cheery wave, I should get a decent page count out of it, right?

So three cheers for my mom. You rock, Mom. Try not to spoil AC too much. After last week with her other grandparents and a week with you, I’d hate to have to beat her when she gets home.


Who’s your hero this week? Anyone deliver exactly what you needed?



PC

Snow Day

Snow Day



Yesterday, the Playfriends and Playkids had a grand adventure. A highly anticipated adventure that wasn't totally planned and set in concrete with schedules and lists and a writing-related theme. We had a SNOW DAY!



We had the deepest honor and pleasure of driving to Maven Linda Howard's farm, where we got to meet the cows. (See them in the background?)



Roast marshmallows, eat corn chowder, cornbread, and lemon squares.

But most of all, do lots of this:




and this:



Nope, we didn't get any natural snow here in Alabama, though they were predicting it over the weekend. Instead, Maven Linda and her husband set up the snow machine (in the wee hours of the night, I might add) and iced a hill for us and our children to come play on. Since neither of my children have ever seen a really good snow, much less gotten to sled, it was a wonderful (if somewhat exhausting) time.

It was oh, so much, fun! By the end of the day I was tired, cranky, cold, and did I mention tired? But it was so worth it. I haven't slid down a hill since I was in my teens (I'm sure my body will thank me for it in the morning). To enjoy this time with close friends made it special. And to have a friend be willing to go to the trouble of opening her house and losing sleep for us was extra special.

Talk about making some exciting, unique memories. Playfriend Snowday in Alabama!

What's the most exciting, unusual memory you've made lately?

Angel1

What part of Amazing doesn't she understand?

The Amazing Child started school last Tuesday. First Grade—she’s quite the big girl now, you know. This is real school—homework, tests, etc. So when she brought home her first homework assignment, I told her she needed to get right on it.

But the homework was for ME. Not a joint Mommy and AC project. An assignment for me.

Seriously, it’s the second week of school and I have homework. Due by Friday, but she’ll let me turn it in late if things are just too crazy this week. Very nice of her.

Except I don’t want to do homework. Been there, done that, got the diploma to show for it. Besides, I’m a teacher. I assign homework; I don’t actually do it.

Whining aside, let’s just say I don’t think I can do this assignment properly. I’m supposed to write a letter to AC’s teacher describing my child’s character, her strengths, what I hope for her to gain this year.

Is she serious? She wants me to describe AC’s character? Her strengths? She’s the Amazing Child, for goodness’ sake. What more does she need to know?

But I’ll give it a shot. Let’s see. AC is an absolute genius. She’s bright, caring, kind, intelligent, creative, artistically inclined, independent, happy, and all around Amazing. There are many things I’d like her to learn this year. If AC is going to be the first Olympic gold medalist astronaut who uses her Nobel Prize money to fund her ground-breaking cure for cancer while serving as the President responsible for ending poverty and crime and brokering World Peace, then we need to get some basic spelling and math skills under her belt PDQ. And can you convince her to tie her own shoes?

Hmm, I think I lack the emotional distance necessary to do this properly.

Is this some kind of weird test sent home by the teacher? Am I being judged here? If I don’t sing my child’s praises, the teacher will think I’m unsupportive and uncaring. If I tell her how utterly brilliant AC is, then I’m an unrealistic, possibly hovering stage Mom who is raising a self-centered brat. There’s just no way to win here. (And there’s no way I’m going to tell her teacher the annoying thing my child is doing right now that makes me want to scream and possibly snatch her bald-headed…)

Sheesh, my thesis didn’t give me this much trouble. My WIP is a piece of cake in comparison.

So I’m going to go choose my words carefully. Meanwhile, feel free to tell us how amazing your child (or dog, or niece, or whomever you’re proud of) is.

PC

*******

The PC/SP type-down has been delayed until September 1. Although my knee surgery shouldn't keep me down for more than a couple of days, there's always the chance I'll need a longer recovery time. Plus, SP has a new desk to put together and some house stuff still to do. We want this to be a fair competition, so we'll wait to get it started. Any writing done between now and Sept 1 won't count toward the final page count, but maybe I can get the beginning of my WIP rewritten by then...