Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Reality bites.

So, we’re at church the other night (yes, we go to church) doing some Christmas stuff. AC is at a table, working on a craft project, when here comes The Boys.

The Boys. That’s what AC calls them. They are the boys from her Sunday school class, and, well, they’re 7-year-old boys. Loud. Rambunctious. Loud. All arms and legs and shoving and pushing. And did I mention loud?

DG and I are across the room doing something else, but we hear the approach of The Boys and the ensuing boys-versus-girls cootie-fueled melee. DG goes to referee.

When he returns, he’s muttering about The Boys and shaking his head.

“Get used to them,” I said. “They’re going to be around for a while. You’re looking at AC’s Youth Group, you know.”

“Mutter, mutter, loud boys, mutter, mumble.”

Off-handedly, I added, “Heck, AC will probably date at least one of them.”

That brought the mutters to a halt. Talk about shock and horror. The look on DG’s face was priceless. Then a murderous gleam appeared in his eyes as he eyeballed the group of 7-year-olds like he could figure out which one might put a move on his daughter in eight or nine years.

Poor DG. No father is ready for realities like that. If it weren’t so funny to watch, I might actually dredge up some sympathy for him while he struggles with the fact his daughter will be boy-crazy one day. If it weren’t so funny, I might even quit reminding him about it. (Nah, I gotta get my kicks somehow.)

Thankfully, boys still have cooties, and AC is more interested in Hannah Montana than the Jonas Brothers. She does seem to like Troy from High School Musical a bit, but I think that’s more because she thinks she’s supposed to – even if she’s not sure why.

DG encourages the cootie belief – is relying on it – because right now, he’s the coolest boy in her universe, and he likes it like that. When the cooties wear off, who will play Lego Star Wars with him on the Wii? (Hint: It won’t be me.) Losing his top spot as the #1 male in her life is going to be tough.

I guess I’m just cruel. Teasing DG about AC’s future boyfriends keeps my own sadness at the fact she’s growing up fast at bay. It’s still funny, though.

The Boys better watch out. DG is watching them verrrry closely now…

PC

How are you handling – or how did you handle – the fact your kids really do grow up?

20 comments:

Playground Monitor said...

With my eyes closed?

I have a child who is married and has a toddler, so that means they had S-E-X at least once. ;-) It's as difficult to imagine your child having sex as it is to imagine your parents doing it. And when your child has a child, it's mind-boggling. I have to say, though, that my son and DIL are wonderful parents and I'm so proud of them. They're coming to visit on Friday and I can't wait to spoil, er, play with the grandbaby.

PM

Liza said...

I don't have kids yet, but my nieces are like my kids. My oldest niece graduates from high school in May(she is exactly 20 years younger than me). It is killing me, but not as much as it is killing my sister. Next year oldest starts college, middle starts high school, and youngest starts kindergarden. I could cry just thinking about it.

Darling Geek said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christine said...

Our daughter is 14. She looks 18, and she's still pretty innocent when it comes to boys. But one day, I know she'll date. I just keep telling her that boys only care about achieving one goal during the hormone raging season. Even good boys from nice homes... and they don't care about HER goals one whit. Why be involved in all that drama?? But I am sure once she gets to her High School and starts 10th grade, a lot of those upper classmen will want to pounce.

Her daddy has evil plans for these young men similar to DG's plans. I pity the young men showing up at our house to pick up my miss for a date.

Thank goodness she only has crushes on good looking vampires, Troy from HSM, and the Nick Jonas. The boys she knows personally are all either "retarded" or "gross" or merely "friends."

Instigator said...

Ah, thanks to children with older siblings we've been dealing with this for awhile. Sweet Pea has had several crushes on the boys at her school over the last couple years - all older men. Apparently we skipped the cootie stage. Zilla hates it. However, he has no trouble practicing dismantling his pistol and rifle and cleaning them at the kitchen table.

DG, I'm certain he'd be happy to share when you get desperate enough.

Instigator

Angel said...

I don't think I'm ready to think about this... Although mine is the oldest in the bunch, Instigator's oldest has her beat by a bit. Drama Queen only just had her first crush on a boy.

Oddly, I'm more worried about the future than I am the here and now. I worry that she'll find someone totally inappropriate and become hopelessly entangled, causing lots of heartache and, well, drama. Actually, they'll probably be lots of drama no matter what, but I can handle the lighter stuff. It's the heartbreak I'm dreading...

Unfortunately, I'm the only one in the group with a boy too. I can only hope to teach him to be as intelligent and thoughtful as his father was as a teen.

Angel

Lynn Raye Harris said...

I know it sounds like one of those Southern cliches you hear about, but honest to God, my dad would actually be cleaning his gun when a boy arrived to take me out. Nothing like the sight of a grown man oiling all that smooth blue steel to put fear in a teenage boy. It took me a few years to realize he'd done it on purpose.

Hey, my word verif sounds like a new kink (Kira, take note for your next Blaze): toesesha.

Smarty Pants said...

I don't think I ever went through the cooties stage. Being born 30, you know, I sorta skipped it. Not that it mattered, though. I was always sort of a lonely kid, so it didn't matter if they had cooties or not. I was always just sort of waiting for everyone my age to catch up so I'd have someone to talk to.

Crystal Lee said...

Oh, bless you, PC, but there does come a time when you look forward to the promise that an empty nest brings...

I love my children very much, but I handled my oldest son leaving very well - some might say I handled it too well...

Playground Monitor said...

LOL, Crystal. #1 son was a very active child and always into something. His artistic bent showed itself early when he painted his bed with Wite Out and drew on the wall with a stick of margarine. So when he started kindergarten and his energies could be directed to learning, I just smiled and sent him on. No tears for this mama. I will admit it was a little sad to see him drive away to college, waving at me through the open sunroof of his car.

Letting go of the second child was easier. It's just part of life and isn't it the point of parenting? To raise a child who is independent and self-sufficient? You just have to wait so darned long to see if it worked.

catslady said...

It's very hard but a necessity of life lol. My daughters started dating around 15/16. I think having daughters may be easier for women then sons (only guessing here). I've enjoyed all their boyfriends even though none of them were perfect but I always told myself that it was a learning process and they needed to make their own decisions (of course I would give my opinion lol). My oldest just got married this summer to a wonderful guy. My 21 yr. old is dating someone 14 years older than her. I wanted to hate him so much but couldn't. I've given all the advice but now it is up to her. My oldest also just moved back home after being in college and in another city so I'm thrilled. Currently my youngest is away at college but we usually get to see her twice a month. I would be devasted if they moved out of the area so hopefully it will work out.

Christine said...

I think that is my biggest fear: that she'll move so far away I'll hardly get to see her! And I like her--she's a fun girl. I have my own life, but she's just someone that keeps me smiling and is just a joy to know. I know she'll go out in the world and do well, and that's what she's supposed to do. But is a bit of a cruel irony that we raise them up to send them away and then we hope and pray they do make good choices and that the world is good to them.

I am 3.5 years away from having a college aged chid (let's hope we can pay for it given today's economy). And I am, as of today, not ready for it.

Crystal Lee said...

LOL, PM! Wite Out and margarine? Now there's a winning combination. Yep, we love 'em but we just have to wait too darned long indeed...

And sometimes they come back...

Caffey said...

My kids don't like me calling them 'kids' anymore! With them as young adults, 19 and 22, I'm not sure what to call them so I'm saying 'my children' ! I don't have an empty nest totally, with them in local college classes, they are gone most of the time. I actually love having them here with me. I would always be wondering if not. I know in many ways they probably will do good on their own, but too, I want them to do very good. And I do want them to get on their own and that would be after they are secure in a joy after this training now. I'm proud of them both, and I worry still tho that its a tough world going on their own so in a way they are taking those steps but slower in this case.

PM's Mother said...

I remember when one of my Bridge Club friends was moaning that when her daughter got married she "lost" her and she asked if I felt that way too. My answer...
"Heck no! I'm just glad that there would be someone else to look after them." I didn't lose daughters, I gained two sons-in-law! (Good ones, too!)

A good way to look at this issue --God loaned them to us to raise as best we could; then it's time to let them go. Hold them dear in an open hand instead of a clinched fist and they will always be there for you.

PS: I'm proud of PM's children and grandchild also!

Anonymous said...

Well I have a 18 year old son, who for the past 2 years has been living with his dad. Between both his dad & me, as far as the girl front is concerned, it's been ok. Those young ladies seem to come & go. As far as empty nest goes...For me it's been great, I hate to say this, really great living by myself. I grew up with 3 brothers & 3 sisters, married, divorced and in the past 2 years is the only time I have ever been completely alone. And I don't think I would let anyone move in with me.
robertsonreads
word verification - undednes

Christine said...

Well mine just called after school--gotta go to the doctor--fell and hurt my hand. I was at the hairdresser, LOL, but met her at the bus stop, called and got her into the doc today and ortho tomorrow. The child trips over her own two feet -- it's a good thing she's still here till she's off to college.

The man that is lucky enough to land this girl will need really good insurance. She has a once a year record for breaks in the winter.

But the truth is, if she needs me, no matter when or how old, I will move heaven and earth to get to her side.

Me thinks she takes the term winter "break" too literally.

Virginia said...

My son is nineteen now and taking college courses in a town near here. To me he is still a boy. I talking to my sister about stuffing his stocking and she informed me that he was grown. The problem is he still don't have his drivers licenses and I have to take him to school and back three days a week. I don't think he will ever grow up.

When your daughter turns 12 or 13 or maybe younger, she will change her mind about boys having cooties.

Problem Child said...

Virginia -- I kinda like the fact boys have cooties. I think I'll miss them...

Jen said...

Har! Girl now has a boyfriend. Not just a boy that she likes but a BF. They talk on the phone about an hour every day. He's bought her a Christmas present. Now, why don't you ask me how her daddy is taking all of this?