Tuesday, December 21, 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like a freakin' disaster...

I think we all know that while I'm a planner and a list maker, I am not a perfectionist. "Good Enough" works for me. I have enough stress in my life without intentionally adding to it with ridiculous expectations of myself. There's plenty for me to hate myself for without adding unrealistic goals I will fail to reach.

Seriously, why set myself up for that kind of stress, disappointment, pain and self-flagellation?

So it is with hand-wringing horror I watch a friend amble merrily down the path towards soul-crushing disappointment of failure to deliver.

She's hosting Christmas at her house for her entire family for the first time. The list she made for herself even had me gasping. Dinner is being made completely from scratch. Completely. She's not even using canned cream of mushroom soup for the green bean casserole. At this point, I'm afraid she's going to decide to churn her own butter and hunt down the turkey with a musket.

Um, this girl struggles with grilled cheese sandwiches.

On top of this, she's making gifts for everyone -- on top of the regular gifts, everyone will get a hand-made memento of Christmas 2010. And these aren't small, easy gifts either.

House will not only be cleaned, but all rooms will be decorated. She even bought little Santa hooks for the shower curtain in the bathroom. Did I mention that this decorating involves repainting a couple of rooms that need it?

And did I mention that she's in graduate school? She has finals to take *and* essays to grade before the end of the term. And she has a part-time job outside the classes she teaches too.

This would be a monumental task for Martha Stewart -- who has a whole team of assistants AND at least some some experience in cooking, decorating, and crafting. This girl -- dog love her -- is no Martha. And has a lack of assistants as well. I respect (and even envy) the ambition, but, yikes, way to set yourself up.

Back around Thanksgiving, I tried to (gently) tell her that she might be setting her goals and expectations a little too high. (If for no other reason than she hadn't even started any of this.) When that didn't work, I flat-out told her she was insane. I was brushed off. Just because *I* couldn't handle something like this, I shouldn't be projecting onto others.

Okay, then. Have fun. I'll send a big bottle of wine. You'll need it, dearie.

Last time I checked, I was, sadly, being proven right. I wish it were otherwise, but...

So, it's T-minus-four today. Wonder how it's going? I'm afraid to call, though. It could be really ugly. I think I'll double the wine delivery...

So, are you one of those perfectionist people? Do you try for a Martha Stewart-type holiday? Do you succeed in achieving it? (Realize we reserve the right to hate you on principle if you do.) Or are you a "Good Enough" person? Ever set yourself up for disaster?



Anonymous said...

Does making folding 16 napkins in a design which will stand in center of the dinner plate count? (Oh, and this was after they had to be ironed.)

Ok, so I have a little OCD when it comes to entertaining. At least I never tried to plan a home wedding.

PC's Mom

Instigator said...

Yeah, Suzy Homemaker I am not. I have reached an age in my life where I can recognize, acknowledge and embrace my shortcomings. We can't all be wonderful at everything. I've given up trying.

This is evidenced by the fact that my friends will be getting Christmas Flare on Facebook in lieu of a Christmas card. The important people in my life like me just fine the way I am - faults and all. I have stopped caring what anyone else thinks. If they don't understand then I don't need them in my life.


Instigator said...

P.S. Good luck to your friend. I think she's really going to need it.

Smarty Pants said...

I'm sorry but your friend is an idiot. To not take advantage of the tools designed to make the process easier - like cream of mushroom soup - is setting herself up for failure. Especially when you can't cook. An event like this is not the time for home renovation. My best friends family renovated their backyard to have the wedding reception there. Despite months of planning and time, her uncle missed the cememony because he was at the house putting the last few nails into the deck. She's not going to enjoy her holiday at all. What's the point, then?

Playground Monitor said...

I gave up on perfection a long time ago -- kinda right after I had kids. ~grin~ I am more and more satisfied with "good enough" the older I get. Life's too darned short to try and emulate Martha Stewart. Good luck to your friend. She's going to need it.

PM's Mother said...

Who wants to emulate Martha Stewart anyway?

Word verification: ratworyn -- Perfection is ratworyn.

Pat L. said...

I am def not a perfectionist person. Please let us know how everything goes.

Merry Christmas to all.