Not So Happy Feet

I am of the opinion that people with foot problems should not be friends with people who like cute shoes.

Well, not really, because I'd lose some of my very bestest friends. But right now I'm feeling mighty frustrated.

Some time back I blogged about the problems I’ve been having with my feet. With the RWA National Conference looming on the horizon, I’ve started sorting through my wardrobe to see what I want to take. I’ll need business casual clothing for workshops and my editor appointment and a dressy outfit for the awards event.

My big problem is shoes for those business casual clothes. Normally I wear some sort of flat, black shoe designed for comfort. I have terminal cold feet and combined with the meat-locker temperatures in hotel conference rooms, my toes would be a delightful shade of arctic blue if I wore sandals. However, I can’t wear closed shoes because they make my toes feel like someone’s holding a blowtorch to them. Well, I can wear tennis shoes because of the wide toe box but even I have enough fashion sense not to wear them to conference. On the plane to and from, yes. But at the conference, nope.

So I went online and searched for days and days to see if I could come up with some sort of flat, black comfortable shoe with a wide toe box that wasn’t a tennis shoe. I found some shoes with a buckle strap and also some oxfords. The pictures didn’t look too bad, and the company offers free shipping both ways, so I could put them on my credit card and return them if they didn’t work.

The shoes arrived last week. I tried on the buckle strap ones and it was apparent nothing was going to make them fit. Oh, they were wide in the toe box, but I have a narrow heel, and I could not buckle them tight enough to keep them from slipping on my heel. Even an sole insert wouldn’t work.

So it looked like I was going to have to wear the oxfords. They were comfy and didn’t slip on my heel. So, there. Shoe problem for conference solved.

My 4th of July weekend was a little sparse on plans, so I settled on my new sofa and watched about sixteen episodes of Sex and the City that had taped while I was at my mother’s house. I never saw the show in its original run because I didn't have HBO. Sixteen episodes of Carrie Bradshaw and company sporting cute shoes and stylish clothes while they flounce around the Big Apple and date handsome men. And did I mention cute shoes?

Suddenly, those damn oxfords began to resemble something worn by a prison matron. I want cute shoes too!

Why did I have to be the one with foot problems? And when did I get hung up on fashion?

In addition to TV, it’s the fault of my RWA chapter, which is also lovingly referred to as the “Cult of the Shoe.” When you’re surrounded by friends wearing Manolos and Louboutins, the oxfords are pretty much a couture cardinal sin. They’re like visible panty lines, mixing stripes and plaids or wearing a top that’s strapless and a bra that’s not.

And it's not just Carrie and company and my RWA friends. Watching What Not to Wear instills an urge to go to Ross and rifle through the racks of clothing. Get thee away, Stacy and Clinton!


Marilyn Monroe was considered one of the great beauties of her era. I’ve even heard that she wore a size 14. She was curvy and voluptuous, and men worshipped her. A dress size is just a number, isn't it? A number like my age, my shoe size, my bra size and my bank balance. Ugh.


I have curves now too, but I feel like they should have big, yellow warning signs. Intellectually I know all these body issues are just my mind playing tricks with me. They’re nothing a good pair of Spanx wouldn’t help.


Anyway, the prison matron shoes are on their way back to the online store. I’ve decided frozen toes are far better than ugly-a$$ shoes, thank you Carrie Bradshaw very much. I’ve also fantasized about Carrie needing Spanx when she’s my age along with orthopedic inserts for her Jimmy Choos. Ha!

I went to Ross and Shoe Carnival yesterday, hoping to take advantage of my old lady discount to buy a cute pair of dressy sandals for awards night because I've worn the same pair for the last five years and I think it's probably about time to retire them. I looked and looked and finally test drove a pair around the store. Here they are! Sparkly, huh? I'll definitely have to have a pedicure right before I go to Orlando.

Does watching What Not to Wear or Sex and the City or any other show have the same fashionista effect on you? Let’s talk about fashion and shoes. One lucky commenter will get a thong – not the underwear kind, silly, but a book thong you use to mark your place in your favorite romance novel.