Thursday, July 08, 2010


Yeah, so my birthday is coming up next Tuesday. It's not a big least not one of the 0 or 5 ones I tend to dread for no good logical reason. It's just a birthday, but I'm really not looking forward to it. I'm tired of not just growing older but growing up. I wanna know who said I had to start acting my age?

I still shop in the teen section because their clothes are so much cuter than the ones in my own section. The problem is they aren't exactly cut for someone who's been through childbirth twice... Part of me realizes that I'm getting too old for this, that forty is around the corner and I do not want to be the woman everyone says dresses inappropriately for her stage in life. (Although, hey, I could consider it research since I'm working on a YA) But I'm just not ready to let go of my teenage/twenty-something years! They were fun. I was fun.

I'm not ready for my girls to get older either. I'm happy with them being cute, sweet, appreciative, polite 9 and 6 year olds. Me getting older means that the teenage years and endless months of rebellion, sulking and hormonal temper tantrums are right around the corner. I'm. Not. Ready! I'm not ready for the day they come home and want to spend time in their rooms with the doors closed instead of telling me about their day. I'm not ready for Zilla and I to become less and less important to their daily routine. Yes, I realize that's what's supposed to happen...I'm just not ready for it.

So, yeah, I have a birthday next week. It isn't a major one but apparently seems to be sending me into a tailspin none-the-less. I'm not sure what to do with that. It's surprising. I don't think I've ever had this response to a birthday. I've still got 6 years before 40 but I can suddenly see why so many people go through mid-life crises. If this feeling is going to get worse and worse for the next 6 years I'm going to end up jumping out of a plane (with a parachute of course) by the time 40 actually gets here just for that rush of adrenaline.

So, anyone else got a birthday coming up? Is it wigging you out or is it just me?



Maven Linda said...

I have a major birthday coming up, but birthdays have never bothered me. They're just not important in my scheme of things. Yeah, I don't look as good as I did twenty years ago, but so what? I've packed a lot of living in those twenty years.

But, yeah, the awful teen years are coming up. I've sometimes wondered if kids would handle the transformation better if they were told ahead of time that they'd get moody and angry, that it was all part of the process of growing up and away from their parents, but that the parents' job was still to keep them safe so there WOULD be rules and restrictions -- nah, nothing works on a teenager :-).

Smarty Pants said...

I feel this way about every birthday. Not so much that I'm aging, but that I'm 'maturing.' It grates my soul that its inappropriate for me to have pink streaks in my hair and an entire wardrobe made up of t-shirts with cartoon characters on it. For a while I was just ecclectic. Now I'm hitting the point where its sad. I will rebel as long as its humanly possible, though.

And whenever you want to throttle your melodramatic teenaged girls, just remember I'll be home with toddlers. The girls will be mouthy, but they'll also be potty trained.

Playground Monitor said...

My next birthday is nine months away, but it's one that ends in a 0 and the thought of it is bothering me a bit. I'm not sure that would be the case were I not facing an uncertain future alone. But I'm blessed with wonderful friends and I'm sure they'll help me sail through the next birthday with as little trauma as possible. ::HINT, HINT::

I can't help with teen-age girl advice since I had two sons. Yeah, the teen years were rough but I survived -- somehow. Now I have a kid who's older than Smarty Pants, another who's several years behind and a granddaughter who already likes jewelry and sparkly shoes.

Problem Child said...

And exactly what do you think spurred my alcohol-soaked reunion weekend? Denial of my age around folks who are also denying their age, because after all, if we're together, we can't possibly be pushing 40?

Unfortunately, my pushing-40 self can't handle that level of partying any more...

Linda Winstead Jones said...

On a thirty-something birthday many years ago, my brother wisely told me, "You're only as old as you look." I think that means it OK for you to keep shopping in the Juniors section. :-)

For me -- I forget my age. It's unimportant. When people ask me how old I am, I have to stop and figure it out. And I have to admit, I've enjoyed every decade of my life, for different reasons.

As for the teenage years -- yeah, they're coming, But you might as well wait until you're there before you start worrying about it too much. Ditto on those big "0" birthdays. Otherwise you're just prolonging the misery. :-)

Stephanie said...

I am with LJ on this one. I often have to compute my age or ask those around me how old I am. I think as long as you are having fun and doing what you want that is the most important thing.

One BIG plus that I have found to growing older is that I can afford better clothes, more shoes and travel more. I guess I just focus on the pluses!!

Angel said...

I think one of the things about growing older is that you can still do those things that make you "you", but you do them with more style than you did when you were a teenager, and without all the angst. :) So wear something from the juniors dept. paired with sophisticated pants and smoking shoes! Have a pink streak in a sexy "do"! Wear a cartoon character shirt under a blazer--you'll be considered cool for your age.

I was never cool, so I have to make do with "me". :) But I'll consider that okay until I can no longer distinguish which clothes are "old lady clothes".


Anonymous said...

PM and I are pushing the same 0 and it does and doesn't bother me. I've been single long enough to enjoy it, but I still have no direction in my life. I need the t-shirt that says, "All who wonder are not lost." However, it has been an interesting journey.
PC's Mom

catslady said...

I have a big one coming up at the end of the year 60 ugh. I was never bother until I hit 40. I didn't have my kids until I was in my 30's so until then I still felt like a kid myself. Nothing like having children to see you life pass more quickly (but worth it of course). My oldest daughter has been married two years and hopefully in a few more years I can become a grandma. I'm old enough now lol. My sister has been one since she was 45 and has 7 grandkids all from one daughter!!

Cheryl said...

I am still sixteen inside my brain - the mind is willing but the body is weak. LOL When I hit 50 it nearly killed me. Who is that strange woman with white hair? Not me!

I agree with LJ and Stephanie. Now I tend to forget how old I am because it really doesn't matter. You're just a baby so dress in the Teen Department and have a ball. Old age comes too soon for people who don't enjoy life.

Kathy said...

I'm still me, no matter how old I get. I'm the girl who wants to laugh and have fun, with one exception, I know I can't slide down a slip-n-splash anymore. (Don't ask.)

"You are only as old as you feel."

That means Cheryl is younger than I am because I'm still 19 in my head. I have to think about it sometimes now that my kids are older. "Wait! That can't be right, you are older than me." LOL! (What do kids know?)

LJ is right. Be in the 'now' with your girls. They will grow up soon enough. Don't bring on more despair than you need. ;)

Maven Linda said...

Ditto on having to stop and figure out how old I am. It helps that I was born in an easy year, mathematically speaking. But it just doesn't matter. I wouldn't go back to being a teenager (or even a twenty-something) for anything.

Denise said...

Happy early birthday! =)

Instigator said...

Thanks everyone! :-) And I know in my head y'all are right. It's convincing the rest of me to go along with the thought that my life is no where close to over that's sometimes the problem. Most of the time I know wasn't one of those days. :-)


Christine said...

Happy future Birthday! I love birthdays despite the numbers getting bigger. Birthdays beat the alternative. I am not ready to go into that final adventure--not for MANY MORE BIRTHDAYS LOL. And if you have polite, cute young children, guess what? You'll have amazing teens, too. Trust me. I have one and she didn't suddenly turn into the Monster from the Green Lagoon when she hit double digits.

Celebrate! Buy some shoes!!