Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Hey Sister, Go Sister, Soul Sister, Sister Flow

I’m the only Playfriend without a sister. (Okay so there’s a huge age gap between SP and her
sister, but they’re sisters nonetheless.) I have an older brother, but we’re not what you’d call close. I have female cousins, but I’m not close with the ones who are close in age because I lived away so much when we were young. There’s an age difference with my other cousins that just wasn’t ever bridged. I’m very close to my mom, but she’s my mom, not my sister, and there’s a difference.

We moved around so much when I was a child that I don’t have close friends who have truly known me since childhood. I have a few friends from Junior High that I still see occasionally or that I’ve reunited with via Facebook, and I have Counselor Shelley who’s been around for 20 years now.

But Shelley lives in Louisiana and has since 1991. It’s not like we just decide to have lunch on the spur of the moment. When we get together, it’s planned. I had plenty of friends, but very few were what you'd call really close.

While no man is an island, it is possible to be a peninsula?

Then enter the Playfriends. Nowadays, I have folks stopping by my house with only a moment’s notice, and I only make a perfunctory sweep of the big crap off the couch. I often make them pick up their own food on the way (and bring something for us to eat too). I’ve been known to make my husband baby sit their kids so we can go shopping. I “talk” to all of them constantly, usually all at once due to the wonder that is a yahoo loop. Very little happens in my life—good or bad, boring or not—that they don’t know about.
They know how much I paid for my house and weighed in on the color I’m going to paint. They know which medicines I take, debate with me over the tattoo, and have absolutely no problem telling me that something makes me look fat.

They help plot books and obsess over editorial letters. They advise on my hair and tell me I don’t need to lose weight. On Saturday, we fought over purses until we finally agreed to share.

Danniele makes my crafts, Kira orders my business cards, and Andrea does my makeup. Marilyn straddles that lovely line of mothering us while she eggs us on. (Yes, it’s an interesting trick, not to be tried my amateurs).

In reality, the Playfriends have only been around for a few years, but I really don’t know how I functioned without them. I was never in a sorority, but I’m thinking this is sisterhood.

Now I understand why catalogues have all the “my sister is great” stuff. Sisters are pretty cool.

Poor AC, she doesn’t have a sister either (and she’s not getting one, no matter how much she asks). She’ll just have to make do with Drama Queen, Baby Girl and Sweet Pea. But if they’re anything like their moms, it’s going to work out grand.

Do you have sisters? Is it as great as it sounds, or do you really want to be an only child? What’s the best or worst thing about your sister(s)?

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M.V.Freeman said...


Ah, such a loaded question. I have a blood sister, my twin. We are not close.

But, my heart sisters are ones I have made over the years. Who have shared different aspects of my life. Without these women in my life, it would have been empty indeed. :)

Plus, I need to salute you P.C. and Playfriends, because y'all make it work-- a family of friends who celebrate everything, and that's what it is about.

Barbara Vey said...

I'm the oldest of 9, so I have 4 sisters and 4 brothers. Thanks to the Tarot Card reader in New Orleans (see my blog from 2 weeks ago), my sisters have spent the weekend throwing out stuff from my house. The rummage sale is Friday and I was told to not to be there (I'm emotionally attached to my stuff)

That's what sisters do. Clean the crap out of your life, to make room for new (and hopefully) better stuff.

Smarty Pants said...

I'm gettin all misty. :)

I can't really say what its like to have a sister because I feel more like an aunt most of the time. Maybe when she's thirty and I'm (ack) fifty-four, we can relate more, but I'm not sure.

I think the best part about us is that we never run out of things to talk about. Even me. That is a great achievement. I also don't get tired of hanging out, which is odd, too. DB can't understand how we can get together Friday night, then spend all of Saturday together and want to talk on the phone Sunday. I'm not sure even sisters are like that. You get to pick your friends, unlike sisters, whom you're stuck with.

I honestly have no idea what I would be doing with myself if I hadn't joined HOD and met you all.

Angel said...

Like MV, I too have a twin. In some ways, we are very close, in others, not so much. There is a fine line to walk with twins, where they-at some point-must learn to function as 2 separate people. Very complicated.

I have to admit even I am amazed some times. We spent Friday night hanging out at PC's house. Saturday was our all day outing to our local chapter meeting. So yesterday, when PC drove me to the doctor on a 4 hour round trip, I expected it to be pretty silent. Nope. She's right. We never run out of things to talk about...

We've had the awesome experience of finding women we "clicked" with from the beginning. "Family of friends" I love that, MV.


Instigator said...

I have a wonderful sister that I love very much. And then I have the 4 sisters of my heart. We might not be related by blood but we're certainly related by more important things - like understanding, friendship, respect and love.

My sister and I are 13 months apart. We grew up in each others pockets. :-) We did everything together and even had the same friends. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. We were very lucky.


Liza said...

I have one sister by blood and we are very close now, but pretty much didn't like each other until we were adults. When her oldest was born, we became the best of friends.

I have 6 more sisters of my heart, not counting all my sorority sisters. The 7 of us get together every month. We've done weddings, funerals, births and everything in life in between. I would be lost without my Yaya's. All of the husbands know that we are a package and are pretty ok with that fact(one said you marry one you marry them all).

Problem Child said...

Thanks to DG, I've corrected a couple of typos. Feel free to tell me if you see more. I typed this blog on my Alphie in the waiting room of Angel's doctor's office...

Rhonda Nelson said...

I have a little sister and we're very close, then I have a few sisters of the heart as well and I don't know how I would function without them.

Playground Monitor said...

Ah yes... that fine line I walk with the Playfriends. Do not attempt this at home!

I am old enough to have given birth to all four of them (though PC reminds me she would have been the illegitimate child because she was born 6 months before I got married *g* ). It's hard for me to say they're like sisters because I DO have a sister and the relationships are different. I think Mary said it right when she said "heart sisters."

My blood sister is three years younger than me. We played together as children, developed different interests as young adults, went to different colleges, moved to different parts of the country (and world when I went overseas) and lead totally different lives. But a couple years ago she came up with the suggestion that instead of giving each other a Christmas present, why not take a trip together?

Our first trip was to Nashville where we went to the Country Music Hall of Fame and the Grand Ole Opry in addition to other tourist-y things. And we ate breakfast at Monelle's, which has the best fried chicken I've ever had.

We skipped a year or two and then two years ago we did two trips in one year. She lives at the coast and her DH and son were going to be gone for two weeks so I went there and we just had a grand time watching chick flicks, eating whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it and going to the beach. Later that year, she came here and we drove west til we hit the Natchez Trace and drove all the way to Natchez with no set schedule. That way we couldn't be late for anything.

Last year we took a 4 day cruise to Cozumel. She'd never cruised before and didn't want to book anything longer in case she didn't like it. She did and we're talking about doing an Eastern Caribbean cruise in the future.

Right now we're planning this year's trip (once she gets through quarterly tax season -- she's a CPA and that right there should tell you just how different we are). We're talking about spending a few days seeing the sites in San Antonio and then going to a dude ranch.

For all of you with small children who ever wonder if you'll have a life again -- just look at us. We're proof that there's life after children. LOL!

And that's probably waaaaaay more than you wanted to know about my sister.

Sherry W. said...

No sisters here. Only a brother and there is 9 yrs between us. We are close now but I was more like his mother than sister growing up.

You girls are so fortunate to have found such a wonderful connection with each other. I can tell from being around you that it's a close bond.

My family is not close and I have a sister of my heart but she lives 6 hrs away. :(

Jolie said...

My sister (and only sibling) is 10 years younger than I am. We're close enough that we can talk about anything, but we don't do it all that often, since she's almost 20 and is too busy livin' it up. :)

There are so many things I love about having her, but what's really great is that she and I are so much alike. We like the same music, the same colors, the same clothes, the same books...which makes bdays and Xmas super easy. :) Since we didn't really grow up together (I went off to college when she was 7 and then she and my mom moved away), it amazes me how much we have in common and how well we "click".

I have to say... I wasn't all that excited when she came along, but I don't know what I'd do without her now. :)

Lynn Raye Harris said...

I should not be here. My writing cave awaits.

However, I had to post. I've said before that the military life creates a different mindset. It's not just the knowing you're going to move every few years. I think it sets up a dichotomy inside you were you instinctively don't get close to people, though you do form friendships -- some lasting through several moves. It's not just because you're going to move; it's also because you know people change and there are very very few you can trust completely.

I don't have a sister. I was an only child until 10. I have two brothers and we aren't very close. I have friends, but not the kind I'd hang out with for days on end and tell all my secrets to. I kind of wish I did sometimes. My secrets get channeled into the emotion in my books. :)

BUT, you dear Playfriends give me the kind of friendship I need. We have lunch, we talk writing, and you include me in the kind of stuff you know I might like. So thanks for that. :) I'd be here for you if you needed me, but it'd probably take me eons to lean on you.

Kathy knows what I'm talking about. :) It's in our psyches now. I wouldn't know how to be different, and because it's instinctive it doesn't really bother me. I look at your relationship with curiosity ; I'm kind of like a puppy with my head tilted sideways going, "What's that all about? How they do that? Why? I don't get it." *g*

Back to work. In-laws arrive today too. Hope they like soup and crackers or know how to dial the takeout.... ;)

Maven Beverly Barton said...

I'm an only child, but I have a first cousin who has been my best friend and "sister" since we were in diapers. We've shared everything with each other all our lives. And I'm fortunate to have two heart/soul sisters in LH & LJ. I can't imagine my life without them.

Anonymous said...

I have 3 sisters & 3 brothers. I am next to the oldest and help raise the youngest 2. Yes, some of us are closer than others but what some times we have. Sometimes 2 sister & 2 brothers take a road trip and we are just wide open, we have the mindset that we are going to have fun and we do! Also, over the summer we have had birthday pool parties at my brother's home and we play our version of volleyball and have a blast. Sometimes 2 or 3 of us get together because we can & just have fun whether it's enjoying a meal together, shopping, cooking or whatever. And yes, we have our disagreements but that's ok, we have yet to take a gun to each other, haha! I wouldn't trade anything for my brother or sisters and trust me, we grew up really poor. Now as adults we can really have fun and enjoy. And I know spouses just don't get it but we really don't care.

Crystal Lee said...

Ok, so I'm going to tell this sad tale, but remember that it was a long time ago. I have a sister, one I love very much who lives in TN. When she was just a baby, I had a wee bit of difficulty adjusting to having a baby sister. She is three years and five months younger than I. We shared a room then, and one night, gripped by a blinding fit of meanness, I got up out of bed, snatched the blanket off my baby sister and threw it in the floor, just to hear her cry. Like I said, I had a little trouble adjusting. We won't talk about the time I tied a string around her neck...

Seriously, she's great and I love her more than words can say... I discovered the benefits of having a sister.

Jane said...

I have an older brother, but no sister. I wish I had someone to share gossip, boys, clothes and make-up with. I am close to an older female cousin. She's closer to me than she is with her own sister.