I’ve made my list, and I’ve checked it twice. I’ve tried to cover every clothing contingency I can. I’ve polished my pitches. I have new business cards and promo for the Playground. My toes are polished; my dresses are pressed. I’ve dealt with a knee crisis that nearly derailed my entire conference experience—not to mention my wardrobe.
AC and DG are prepped for my absence. I’ve left some lists for them as well as dinners in the freezer. The two of them can play on the Wii as long as they’d like without any PC interference.
I’m sooo geeked about this trip. I must be; why else would I get up at 4:30 am to drive to the airport? (Is there a scientist somewhere working on teleportation?) Maybe it’s the time with friends. Maybe it’s the chance to make contacts and network. Maybe it’s the hope that the book I pitch this time will be the one.
Sometimes I feel like my trips to the National Conferences are a waste of time and money and an undue burden on my family. I mean, I haven’t sold anything so what’s the real use in networking? Okay, so I have an editor appointment, but couldn’t I accomplish the same thing (i.e., pitching my book) with a first class stamp? Here I am, spending all this money on hotel rooms, air fare, registration fees, food, and (not to mention) clothes for the third time, and I’m no closer to selling anything than I was before. DG has to rearrange his schedule and play Single Parent for a week, and poor AC has to go to day care all day every day. They’ll be eating frozen meals and macaroni and cheese for a week.
I’m so lucky that DG supports what I’m doing and never once questions the Visa bill. He’s has no problem with the time and money I spend chasing this dream (and since I’m currently unemployed, I’m not bringing in any income to balance the drain on the checkbook), but I have to wonder where the line is between “dream chasing” and “selfishness.” After all, there’s no guarantee I’ll ever sell anything, and all this “dream chasing” could really be nothing but a giant money pit. Where’s the cutoff point? Five years? Ten? Bankruptcy?
But these are all questions for another day. Today, I have fabulous dresses to wear to wonderful parties and a book that I love to pitch to a new editor (who will hopefully love it as well). Declarations from the Playfriends that I’m thissssssss close to selling will stave off the guilt for a little while longer. I’m going to take my six pairs of shoes to Dallas and drool all over Kira’s pink “First Sale” ribbon. I’ll get inspired and shamed all at the same time and come home ready to finish that book I’ve been tinkering with for ever now.
Maybe that one will sell…
Have a fabu week! DG will be posting the Ask Us (Almost) Anything questions this week—you may be a winner! (And you may be a winner if you comment…hint…
hint…) Be nice to DG, but don’t go spilling any Playground secrets, okay?