I've been busting my butt the last couple months to write my next Blaze. It's the second book in a trilogy that will be out in 2012 (and, no, I haven't written the first book yet. It's complicated). I finally finished...at 9:56 last night. I've been trying to get it done for the last few days and things just kept getting in the way. I was determined that last night was the end.
Well, not really the end as I'm just finishing the first draft. I still need to do my own editing. And then I know my fabulous editor will have revisions for me. And copy editing. And AAs. And, so, really, the book isn't finished. But I feel like I've jumped a huge hurdle and can now breathe easy at least for a little while. I'm even ahead of deadline by several weeks. A nice feeling.
So, yeah, this means I've ignored quite a bit over the last few weeks trying to push through and get this first draft written. The minute I type The End the guilt starts rolling in. My kids think I've had my headphones surgically implanted into my ears. I have a workshop I'm giving on Saturday with our very own PC and honorary Playfriend Lynn Raye Harris. I'm certainly they'd like me to prepare so I have coherent sentences to contribute. I'm not sure I have any words left over though. I suppose I have a couple days still to find them.
I'm pretty drained. But I'm also excited about these books and can't wait to see them on the shelves.
Have you finished anything recently? Accomplished a goal you set for yourself? How are those New Year's resolutions coming (mine have been kicked to the curb)?
Instigator
P.S. Niki Bowers is the winner of Katherine Garbera's book. Please email Playground Monitor with your snail mail info. Congrats!
I’m finding myself at what I think is an important crossroads. With each small step I choose, I find resistance building. This may sound like a bad thing, but I’m not so sure it is.
A small setback appears? My internal monologue kicks in, “See, you knew this would never work” or “This is too hard, and if you can’t cut it for the small steps, you’ll never make huge strides.”
As Julia Cameron writes in the Artist’s Way, “As we gain strength, so will some of the attacks of self-doubt.”
The more I allow these attacks to continue, the less desire I have to pursue my goals. And why not? It’s just more chances for that internal voice to beat me up again (same goes for writing and the internal editor). You know the one – the voice that tells you you’ll never succeed, your writing isn’t polished enough, that you aren’t losing so you might as well eat that cookie…
The solution lies solely in our imaginations.
I’ve begun practicing one of Cameron’s strategies for fighting self-doubts. She calls these doubts ‘blurts’, and she instructs artists to counter each one with positive statements of truth. For example:
“A nap? Well aren’t you just lazy!”
“I work hard every day to support my family and deserve to rest.”
“Told you this would never work.”
“Each small step is working. My body feels more energetic when I exercise. Today simply didn’t work out.”
So many times we allow ourselves to be beat up by that internal drill sergeant, but we are hard-working mothers, wives, friends, employees, and volunteers.
Be gentle with yourself. We deserve it.
So tell me, how do you fight self-doubt and the internal editor? What is one of your most common blurts and a positive statement to counteract it?
Angel
Update: I'm doing moderately well with my small steps goals. I'm currently on track in The Artist's Way, but not so on track with my exercise goals, so I'm renewing those goals for the rest of this month. How are your resolutions going?
Coming Soon! Join us next Monday when guest author Rita Henuber visits the blog.
I'm knee deep in revisions for my Jan book - Caught Off Guard - at the moment. I'm on a deadline, so what's new? :-) But this has gotten me thinking about goals, how and why I set them.
I'm not sure if anyone's noticed but my word meter on the side of the page hasn't moved in...a very long time. I've been writing, on a couple of projects actually. I just haven't been putting my progress into the word meter. I'm really not sure why, but possibly because I didn't need it this time.
Some stories I come to kicking and screaming. I don't mean that I don't want to write them, I do. But they're hard. Sometimes the words flow without effort and sometimes it's like pulling teeth to string one coherent sentence onto the page. When it's tough I need those goals to push me. I'm motivated by disappointment (not making my goal) - and possibly the fear of missing a deadline. :-)
As I'm going through these revisions I've found myself making goals for these too. They have to be back to my editor by the middle of next month (although I'm hoping to have them finished before then). I set myself a page goal each day. And at the moment I'm blowing it out of the water. I'm way ahead of schedule which is unusual for me.
I think we've had the carrot and the stick conversation before. I'm definitely motivated by the stick. But that means once I've met whatever goal I've set for myself the stick goes away for that day. I've made the finish line...why would I want to run some more?
Well, I've made myself. Actually, I had some prodding from Smarty Pants who pointed out I was wasting valuable time I could use to get ahead of the game. I did it. Reluctantly. But she was right. I have school field trips, Kindergarten Rodeo Day, the end of the year festivities, Memorial Day festivities and the beginning of summer all waiting to foul up my daily page count. Getting a head start is smart. Something I've never claimed to be. :-)
How do you set goals for yourself? Do you reward yourself when you've met your daily, weekly or monthly goal? Anyone else in the middle of revisions? Honestly, mine really aren't that bad. Although, thinking that makes me wonder if maybe I'm missing something important. :-)
Instigator
P.S. Harlequin Executive Editor Marsha Zinberg is visiting today on the Blaze Author's Blog to talk about the new Harlequin Showcase program. Drop by and say hi.
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday (and plenty of recovery time over the weekend)! I know our house was busy with excited children and lots of visitors. Now I’m heading to Florida to visit with my parents before my kids have to return to school. Then it is back to the grindstone for me.
Today, I’m blogging over at the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood about building goals for the new year. If you are like me, and like to take some time to think about the coming year and prepare a plan of attack, join me over there! I’ll be taking questions and suggestions, and discussing everyone’s plans for 2010. I’d love to see you there!
The Playfriends are hard at work on the changes coming to our website next week (or rather, Smarty Pants is—she gets the brunt of the labor). We’re very excited and will be running a contest next week during theme week to celebrate our new look. So don’t forget to join us for that!
Hope all of our readers get a few days off to celebrate the new year this week! Enjoy!
The last two years, I've written goals on a piece of paper on January 1st and filed them away in a small decorative box on top of my desk. Then at the end of the year, I see just how well I've done with meeting them.
Last year I did great. I exceeded the number of sales I'd set for myself with the confessions magazines and while I didn't finish writing a book, I wrote 50,000 words of it during the month of November.
On January 1, 2009, I wrote new goals, sure I could meet them. This is my list:
~ Finish writing a novel ~ Get my PRO pin ~ Pitch the novel at the RWA national conference ~ Write and submit 6 stories to the Trues magazines ~ Start a second novel ~ Get in shape and lose weight
I did finish the novel but I didn't pitch it at the conference because I had a chance to pitch it online at eHarlequin, where I got a request for the full manuscript. Unfortunately it was rejected, but the experience was fabulous and I learned so much. That opportunity earned me my PRO pin.
Then in July I added a seventh item: Survive divorce and come out stronger on the other end.
In 2005, we moved and our older son got married, and between the stress of those two things, my muse packed a bag and took an extended vacation to the tropics. She came back, though, in 2006 and I started my selling spree to the Trues. Things toddled along nicely until this year and when my world began to fall apart around me, the muse packed a bag, closed out her checking account, cancelled her subscription to the newspaper and applied for citizenship in another country.
Not only couldn't I write, I couldn't even read. Normally I read 4-6 books a month. I've only read 10 books all year. It's hard for me to sit still long enough to watch a one-hour show on TV even when I fast-forward through the commercials. Stress can be vicious. Aside from the mental effects, it has physical ones too. Remember my list above? I lost 15 pounds without dieting. I also lost a whole lot of junk when I cleaned out my stuff prior to moving into an apartment last weekend (thank you Playfriends, Playfriend spouses and Playkids for helping). The thrift store was excited.
Call it what you will -- a vacationing muse, writer's block or creative silence -- but it sucks, especially when you want to write and the words just won't come.
I recently had a small 2 x 3 inch ink drawing framed. My mom gave it to me and it sat in my kitchen window, still in the cellophane, without a frame, for over 25 years. I decided to frame it for my new apartment. It’s not a standard size so I figured I’d just have a new mat cut and put it in a standard frame. Nope. Wouldn’t work and look right. Soooo, $45 later it’s all framed and double matted and ready to be hung in a special place. What does this little thing say?
“God never closes a door without opening a window.”
I try not to focus on the closed doors behind me, and I've tried not to let my own personal drama spill over into other people's lives. But I figured it was time to say something here.
Rest assured I'm focusing on the open windows ahead. It isn’t always easy, but I’m going to do it.
I learned some lessons along the way:
Life is what happens while you are making other plans. Crap happens. Don't sweat the small stuff. There is more than one reality. Trust your gut. Good friends and family are worth more than their weight in gold.
And my favorite is from a magnet my sister sent me when the aforementioned crap began to happen.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.
I've no doubt the muse will be back in the end.
And so we end on a positive note, how about Donny "Puppy Love" Osmond and the Argentine tango???
I have this little writing problem. Okay, it’s a big problem. I call it AVOIDANCE. You see, I find myself stuck in the planning stages of my writing projects quite a bit. I hide there, because it is safe and enjoyable. It doesn’t require blood, sweat, and tears. I don’t have to force myself to do it. Those planning stages are fun. They come with a rush, like those first few months of falling in love.
But the hard work looms ever closer. So I find myself twiddling even more with plot, characters, goals, conflict, etc. If I’m honest, it’s because I’m afraid. Of quite a lot of things, but mostly of failure. And mediocrity. So I avoid…
I’m not a lazy person. I work really hard in other areas. But usually those are areas where I can easily see the progress and the results come quickly. Not so with books. Even though I’ve gotten to the point where I can write much quicker than in the beginning, I would never term writing “quick” or “easy”. I don’t even want to talk about waiting for the results. :)
What’s really weird about this is that, once I get started, I enjoy the writing. Maybe it is just something about the blank page that stirs up the fear? Good thing I have writing scheduled for this week!!! My accountability partner will beat down my door if I don’t start showing some progress.
How about y’all? Is there a particular project or job you love to avoid? Any advice? I know, I know… Just Do It!
Angel
Coming Soon! Check out author Kathie DeNosky on Wednesday, August 19th!
Yesterday, at our local chapter meeting, I got to hear our wonderful Mavens (Linda Howard, Linda Winstead Jones, and Beverly Barton) answer questions on anything and everything we wanted to know about writing and publishing.
Being the generous women and professionals they are, they answered over fifty questions about this crazy pursuit of passion called Being an Author. But at the end of the day, I came away with only 2 words written on my notepad. I can’t remember which one even said it, maybe Beverly, but the 2 words I took home with me were:
KEEP WRITING
There were many other lessons that I soaked up like a sponge, but this is what resonated with me in that moment, mostly because the ticking clock in my head has turned up its volume exponentially. I’m not sure why, but I think it is because:
1. I turn 35 this year. Though I’ve never had any qualms about birthdays before this, for some reason 35 is bothering me, making me realize there are several things in my life I had wanted to accomplish by now that don’t seem any closer than they did 2 or 3 years ago. Establishing a career writing romance is one of those things. I seem no closer now than I have in the past, despite years of hard work. 2. All those “years” of hard work are adding up. I started my first book when Drama Queen was almost 3. Soon, she’ll be 9. I’ve been submitting for publication for 4 years and have completed 5 books. Less time than some people had to put in, but more than others.
I’m admitting here that I’ve been discouraged. After all, writing is hard, no matter how much you love it. It takes time away from my family and money out of pocket for dues, submissions, and conferences. But after listening to the discussions going on around me at our meeting, I know I’m where I belong. Despite the seeming lack of forward progress lately, I can’t imagine doing anything else with my spare time but creating stories. Okay, on the occasional bad day, even cleaning house tempts me to walk away from the book, but…
So no more wallowing in discouragement! Let’s talk today about perseverance and keeping the motivation high. What are your secrets to going the distance, whether your goal is publishing your first book, losing those last ten pounds, or getting that dream job?
Angel
P.S. When author Susan Gable visited us on the blog, she graciously chose me as the winner of her book. Upon receiving it, I realized I’d already read (and loved) it. So today I’m going to pass it along to introduce someone else to this wonderful story, The Pregnancy Test. Simply comment to enter!
No, I am not talking about farm animals today. We do not have a new duck in the fold...I'M the only thing around her waddling at the moment.
I started this year with new resolve: start an exercise program, lose some weight, get healthier. If pressed, the Playfriends would probably admit that I tend to get a little...obsessive when I have a new goal in front of me. I'm not the most patient person on this planet and if I'm gonna do something I want some results for the efforts NOW!
I'm rather proud of myself that several weeks into this new routine I'm going strong. I've missed a couple of my gym days - for very good reasons - but I immediately got right back at it as soon as I could. Perhaps the 'right back at it' is where I went wrong. Or maybe it was buying that wii fit... Either way, I'm paying the price for my enthusiasm right now.
I can't walk. Well...I can but I make this really weird face that Zilla is delighting in imitating, groan like a dying frog and try not to move the muscles in my calves any more than absolutely necessary. And I want to point out right here and now - I have no idea what I did!
Monday I did an hour and 15 minutes on my wii fit. And I really enjoyed it! It was fun and I felt fantastic when I was done. I sat down in bed and pulled open my laptop...15 minutes later I got up to do something and nearly fell to my knees. The pain might not have been so bad if I'd expected it but my calves didn't burn once during my workout!
Tuesday, after spending the day walking on eggshells, I decided a very short workout to stretch the muscles a bit might be a good idea. Got on the wii fit, felt great. 15 minutes after I'd finished the pain was even worse than before.
Wednesday was a gym day and I didn't want to skip it completely so I went and did a circuit weight class. There are only a couple leg machines and they don't work your calves so I figured I was okay...until the instructor told us to do 10 minutes on the treadmill at the end of the class. By then I was stretched out and warmed up and didn't feel bad so I did it. I thought I was going to die by the time the ten minutes was over.
So...today is another gym day. I usually spend an hour there walking on the treadmill and doing the weight machines. I really hate to miss the day but I'm not sure my calves can take it. Yes, I do realize all of my pain is self inflicted...I just can't seem to stop. On the bright side, I'm losing weight. Although, my ass had better start to look amazing PDQ or I'm going to get really upset.
Do you have any funny workout stories to share? Ever push yourself too far and pay the price?
Here we are on the eve of a new year and I’m wondering what kind of resolutions I should make for 2009 and what goals I should write on a little piece of paper and stick into the new fancy box I bought for the top of my desk. Last year I wrote the following:
* Finish the novel. (I am really close) * Get PRO pin. (once I finish the book, I can start down this path) * Sell 6 Trues. (I sold 10) * Get in shape. (well…)
As I’ve been contemplating the goals I set last year and the ones I should set for 2009, I’ve seen a remarkable connection between them and the gifts I received for Christmas.
Santa (AKA Mr. Playground Monitor) was quite generous. The first gift I saw when I went into the great room on Christmas morning was a brand new Dyson Ball vacuum cleaner. How thrilling, you say. Well, I did need a new vac. Mine is about 15 years old, is making noises and has been discontinued so I can’t buy replacement filters and parts for it anymore. I’d mentioned to the DH we were going to need a new vac and that I’d LOVE to have a Dyson, since it’s the Rolls Royce of vacuum cleaners.
Apparently he test drove one at the store and was impressed as I, so now I have one. But there’s a very interesting tale here. The story of its inventor, James Dyson, is a lesson in hard work, struggles and ultimate victory. He’s the kind of guy who likes to make things work better. He’s Tim the Toolman Taylor without the grunting, blown fuses and over-engineering.
One of his first inventions was a wheelbarrow with a large ball instead of a wheel. In the factory that manufactured these, he noticed the air filter clogged constantly with powder from the paint. To combat this, he built a cyclone tower that used centrifugal force to remove particles from the air. Five years and 5000+ prototypes later, he’d invented the first bagless vacuum cleaner.
The vacuum cleaner industry wasn’t interested, though, because vacuum cleaner bags were a £250 million a year industry. They turned him away, but he took the design to Japan, the home of all things high tech, and the bright pink G-Force vac caught on. It sold for £2000 and was considered a status symbol. Dyson used the royalties from this machine to manufacture another one under his own name. Through the years he skirted the edge of bankruptcy to keep his patents current and even successfully fought a major US manufacturer in court over patent infringement. Many companies try to copy his design, but the Dyson still remains the benchmark against which all bagless cyclone vacs are measured.
Another item under my tree was a pewter paperweight from my sister. The engraving on it reads “Most things are difficult before they are easy.” Truer words were never spoken. In the process of almost finishing the novel this year, I learned that what I once considered an insurmountable task, is possible. I don’t think writing a novel will ever be easy, but little by little, through practice and perseverance it becomes a little less difficult.
I’m sure James Dyson felt that way too when he was being turned down by major corporations and then later fighting them when they tried to steal the very technology they said wouldn’t work.
So what’s going to be on the paper I put in the box for 2009?
* Finish the novel for real. Close only counts in horseshoes. * Get my PRO pin. * Pitch the novel at the RWA conference in July. * Write more Trues to help fund my way to said conference. * Start another novel. * Get in shape. Really.
Every time I suck up dust bunnies and tracked-in dirt, I’m going to remember the man who never gave up. And when I see the paperweight on my desk, I’ll remember not only its message, but my sister who was my biggest cheerleader during NaNoWriMo.
I had another gift under the tree too – a FrothXpress. I’m not aware of any special story behind it and it’s not engraved with any motivational saying. But it sure does make a great latte, and I’ve found that a latte fuels my brain wonderfully when I’m writing. :-)
Tell us about a special gift under your tree – either this year or in years past. What made it special to you? And have you figured out yet what your New Year's resolutions are?
One lucky commenter will be selected to win a copy of the Bylines 2009 Writer’s Desk Calendar that features me on the first full week in January with a short article about – setting goals! Then you can be like Problem Child and me and chronicle your life in a calendar.
Once again this week I’m in the midst of visiting family for the holidays. I had my mom and her crew for Thanksgiving. Now I have my Dad, brother, and one of my sisters for an early Christmas celebration. Between this and preparing for parties, I’m sick and tired of cleaning my house. :)
This week will go by fast, what with our visitors, Christmas Eve baking, my husband’s family Christmas Eve celebration, then Christmas day. So much to do in such a short amount of time. But I have to admit, I’m kinda looking forward to it being done. Not that I want to speed through it, but I’m anticipating what is coming after the last present is unwrapped and everyone has gone home.
I’m going back to writing.
After NaNo, I knew I’d have a lot of other things to catch up on, plus be a little burnt out. And that was true. I needed a few weeks to refill my well, let other stories creep into my head, and devour the To Be Read pile in my bedroom. All of which I have done. But I’ve noticed something. A month without writing is a touch too long for me. I’m getting antsy and finding it hard to settle down to the pastimes I had so looked forward to. A low level depression is setting in, which tells me it is time to get back to the creative drive.
I’ll sit down and plan out a loose schedule for next year, getting my writing priorities in order (more on this next week) and start working a little at a time. I won’t be able to dive in good until the kids are back to school on January 6th (whose idea was it to have such a long holiday????). But I’m looking forward to it and that’s a good thing.
What do your next few days look like? What are you anticipating the most? How do you know it is time to return to writing or your other creative pursuits?
Since everyone is blogging right now about goals and resolutions for 2008, I won’t bore you with my whole list today.(And yes, I do have goals for myself. Big ones. Life changing ones. They involve yoga and soy and vegetables. And quality time with my laptop.)
However, I did make a minor goal for myself for 2008 that I will share with you. My goal is based on a quote I have hanging above my desk: “Do one thing each day which frightens you.” (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Something about that phrase is resonating with me these days. I’m taking it as a challenge, because fear is, of course, one of the things that holds me back. A fear of failure, a fear of looking like an idiot, a fear of...well, lots of things.
So, on Monday, I sent several emails I’d been avoiding. Pulled out my WIP and made some changes I’d played with, but worried they might be too “different.”
And I agreed to go to a yoga class tonight with Smarty Pants. 2008 should be very interesting.
So share a goal if you like, or even a quote that inspires you. Or tell me about yoga--like how much I'm going to love it (right?).
PC
EDITED TO ADD: Stefanie is Angel's winner from yesterday. Send your shipping info to angel@writingplayground.com
I've been busting my butt the last couple months to write my next Blaze. It's the second book in a trilogy that will be out in 2012 (and, no, I haven't written the first book yet. It's complicated). I finally finished...at 9:56 last night. I've been trying to get it done for the last few days and things just kept getting in the way. I was determined that last night was the end.
.png)
