Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Don't ask me to pronounce the title of my blog. I never took French. When I visited Paris, about the best I could muster was "Croque-Monsieur, s'il vous plait," which translates to "I'd like a ham and cheese sandwich please."

But back to the blog title... The most common translation of this phrase by nineteenth century French author and columnist Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr is "The more things change, the more they stay the same."

I was recently reminded of this when my uncle sent me a photo for Christmas. It wasn't just any photo. He'd taken the original, scanned it, enlarged it, cleaned it up, added a caption and put it in a very nice frame.

This is the photo and it dates from July 1959. I was nine years old. That's my sister on the left, and this was taken in Dodge City, Kansas. You remember Dodge City don't you? Gunsmoke and Matt Dillon? Chester, Doc Adams and Miss Kitty? And who could forget the Long Branch Saloon?



Dodge City, Kansas really exists and they've tapped into the fame of Gunsmoke to create the Boot Hill Museum, which includes a recreation of the Long Branch Saloon. In the evenings, there's a stage show complete with a honky-tonk piano player and can-can girls.

I remember walking down Front Street and watching the shoot-out they recreated for all us tourists. And then we went into the saloon, bellied up to the bar and all ordered a cold sarsaparilla AKA sasparilla. It tasted pretty much like root beer to me, but sarsaparilla sounded a heap more fun.

And you know what was really fun? Sharing that same experience with my boys twenty-eight years later in the summer of 1987. We watched the gun fight, read the tombstones in the Boot Hill cemetery, attended the saloon show and got us a sarsaparilla at the bar. I'm not sure how much of the trip they remember. They were four and eight respectively. Regardless of their memories, I have mine. And even though a few things had changed in Dodge City, much had remained the same.



Maybe some day I can take my granddaughter to Dodge City and get her a cowboy hat and boots, though I have a sneaking suspicion she'd rather visit some place with princesses and get a tiara and a scepter.

Have you ever recreated a childhood vacation with your children? Was it like you remembered or had things changed?

P.S. Belated birthday wishes to my mother who celebrated a birthday yesterday. I won't tell you which one. My mama didn't raise a fool. ;-)

When I'm Not Writing...

After a particularly harsh period in my writing journey, I decided that I needed some time off. Last week, I didn’t write at all. Not a single word. And it taught me a few things about myself:

1. I used to have a lot more time on my hands. Once upon a time, I wasn’t writing, or thinking about writing and I had an incredible amount of empty time. Returning to that this week felt weird, and sometimes I wandered around the house trying to determine what to do with myself.

2. I can only read, and watch television, so much. I’ve drifted through an entire season of CSI, a couple of movies, and an episode of Castle. I also devoured 5 books, but finally got bored with that too.

3. Depression is, well, depressing, and boredom doesn’t help. I’m used to having so much on my To Do list that I’m overwhelmed. This week, I deliberately didn’t keep a list and didn’t agree to do anything. Hell, I didn’t even clean the house until I got so tired of watching television that I had to have SOMETHING to do (voluntarily washing dishes tells you how truly desperate I was…).

4. When I’m bored, I organize. There have been a couple of times in my life when I’ve been incapacitated for a week or more while recuperating, and usually found myself dreaming up ways to reorganize or redecorate my house. This week, in an effort to feel productive, I spent time organizing materials for the raffle baskets for the upcoming HOD Luncheon, redid my daily planner, and cleaned out files on my computer.

5. No matter how much you might wish it, the characters in your head just NEVER SHUT UP! And this is the crux of the matter. I almost wish they would be quiet, so I’d have an excuse not to write anymore. But they won’t. I hope that is a sign I’m a real writer and that with time and hard work I can reconnect with my creativity on a level that is fulfilling and productive.

I haven’t started writing again yet. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, or maybe next week. Right now, I’m simply playing with the characters in my head, just like I did the first time my very own characters showed up. Not characters from someone else’s books, but my own. And I’m also trying to accustom myself to the idea that I’m about to start a book for which I have no avenues for submission, no ideas what will happen to it when I’m done. It’s scary, intriguing, and necessary. Here’s hoping I learn whatever lesson the universe is trying to teach me. ;)

So tell me, what immersion tactic do you choose when you are “avoiding”? Television? Reading (usually my diversion of choice, but for some reason wasn’t working for me this week)? Scrubbing grout?

Angel

Coming Soon!
On Friday, April 23, author Cara Summers makes a visit to the Playground!

Doors & Windows

The last two years, I've written goals on a piece of paper on January 1st and filed them away in a small decorative box on top of my desk. Then at the end of the year, I see just how well I've done with meeting them.

Last year I did great. I exceeded the number of sales I'd set for myself with the confessions magazines and while I didn't finish writing a book, I wrote 50,000 words of it during the month of November.

On January 1, 2009, I wrote new goals, sure I could meet them. This is my list:

~ Finish writing a novel
~ Get my PRO pin
~ Pitch the novel at the RWA national conference
~ Write and submit 6 stories to the Trues magazines
~ Start a second novel
~ Get in shape and lose weight

I did finish the novel but I didn't pitch it at the conference because I had a chance to pitch it online at eHarlequin, where I got a request for the full manuscript. Unfortunately it was rejected, but the experience was fabulous and I learned so much. That opportunity earned me my PRO pin.

Then in July I added a seventh item: Survive divorce and come out stronger on the other end.

In 2005, we moved and our older son got married, and between the stress of those two things, my muse packed a bag and took an extended vacation to the tropics. She came back, though, in 2006 and I started my selling spree to the Trues. Things toddled along nicely until this year and when my world began to fall apart around me, the muse packed a bag, closed out her checking account, cancelled her subscription to the newspaper and applied for citizenship in another country.

Not only couldn't I write, I couldn't even read. Normally I read 4-6 books a month. I've only read 10 books all year. It's hard for me to sit still long enough to watch a one-hour show on TV even when I fast-forward through the commercials. Stress can be vicious. Aside from the mental effects, it has physical ones too. Remember my list above? I lost 15 pounds without dieting. I also lost a whole lot of junk when I cleaned out my stuff prior to moving into an apartment last weekend (thank you Playfriends, Playfriend spouses and Playkids for helping). The thrift store was excited.

Call it what you will -- a vacationing muse, writer's block or creative silence -- but it sucks, especially when you want to write and the words just won't come.

I recently had a small 2 x 3 inch ink drawing framed. My mom gave it to me and it sat in my kitchen window, still in the cellophane, without a frame, for over 25 years. I decided to frame it for my new apartment. It’s not a standard size so I figured I’d just have a new mat cut and put it in a standard frame. Nope. Wouldn’t work and look right. Soooo, $45 later it’s all framed and double matted and ready to be hung in a special place. What does this little thing say?



“God never closes a door without opening a window.”

I try not to focus on the closed doors behind me, and I've tried not to let my own personal drama spill over into other people's lives. But I figured it was time to say something here.

Rest assured I'm focusing on the open windows ahead. It isn’t always easy, but I’m going to do it.

I learned some lessons along the way:

Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
Crap happens.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
There is more than one reality.
Trust your gut.
Good friends and family are worth more than their weight in gold.

And my favorite is from a magnet my sister sent me when the aforementioned crap began to happen.

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

I've no doubt the muse will be back in the end.

And so we end on a positive note, how about Donny "Puppy Love" Osmond and the Argentine tango???