A small change...

Remember when you got your first swing set? The monkey bars seemed like they were miles high and when you were on the swings you felt like you were touching the sky?

Then, as you grew, you had to lift your feet to keep them off the ground when you hung from the monkey bars and the seat of the swing got a little too small?  It’s not that you didn’t love the swing set, it just didn’t fit right anymore?

That’s kind of where the Playfriends find themselves today.  We love to hang out on our swing set, but over the last five years we’ve grown so much it doesn’t quite fit right anymore. Put all five of us on it and the poles groan and sway a little dangerously under the weight. I can almost hear an adult yelling, “Not all of you at the same time! That doesn’t look safe!”

We obviously can’t all play on the swing set all at once anymore, but we don’t want to tear it down. So what do we do?

Well... okay, I can’t work this metaphor any longer.

Here’s the situation:  Things have changed a lot in the last five years.  Our lives, yes, but also the opportunities for connecting with people on the internet.  In addition to the Playground blog, we have our own websites, our own Facebook pages, Twitter, Google Plus, Pinterest, Tumbler…. And we’re trying to cover all the bases without going insane.  That’s not working so well (says the one with her hair on fire all the time).

We love having this space to visit with y’all, so I don’t want you to think that we’re tearing down the Playground.  We just won’t be here every day anymore.  Please come over and like our Playground Facebook page, and you’ll still get updates from all of us, only in a shorter format.  When we have big news to share, book releases, contests, or just something that doesn’t fit on Facebook, we’ll post it here on the blog. And then we’ll post a link on our Facebook status to send you over here for all the details.

We also hope that you’ll go find us on Facebook and Twitter if you haven’t already.  (Links below)

The Playfriends want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your friendship and company here on the Playground over the years.  You have no idea how much it means to us.  We hope you’ll continue to visit and share with us on these other social media outlets.  And we’ll see you back here soon for a reunion!

Love,
Problem Child/Kimberly:  Facebook link   Twitter:  @booksbykimberly   Website
Instigator/Kira:     Facebook link   Twitter @KiraSinclair     Website
Smarty Pants/Andrea:  Facebook link     Twitter: @Andrea_Laurence  Website
Playground Monitor/ Marilyn:  Facebook link
Angel/ Danniele:   Facebook Link     Website


***************************
Some additional thoughts from the others….

Smarty Pants: I wanted to thank everyone who has supported us. We started out as five aspiring writers with no reason for anyone to care what we had to say, but we’ve come so far since then. We’ve made so many new friends in the nearly seven since this blog launched. It’s been a lot of fun and I hope everyone will join us over on Facebook so the fun can continue there. In addition to our WP Fan Page, be sure to check out my personal fan page and Twitter accounts. I wouldn’t want anyone to go into Smarty Pants withdrawal. J

Instigator: I’m not sure I can really explain what having the blog has meant to me over the last several years.  I’m a writer, but I just don’t think there are enough words. At least not that do the experience justice.  I’ve met so many wonderful people – people who quickly became more than just readers but friends.  When we first started I was astounded that anyone would come to visit.  I didn’t have confidence in myself or that I knew what I was talking about so the fact that anyone else did just…floored me.  And gave me a much needed boost for my writing.  I gained self-confidence, honed my writing skills and made some lifelong and amazing friends.  It’s been such a joy.  And I look forward to continuing those friendships in other ways - on facebook and twitter.  

Angel: Over the last 5 years, this blog has been the way we could share our live's highlights, the low dips, the funny parts, and the surreal moments--with each other and with you. And in sharing all the cool things in my life and learning about the cool things in yours, I've discovered the ME brave enough to be herself out in the world, and people who actually find that ME friend-worthy. For an extreme introvert, that's nothing short of a miracle. As a person and a writer, it has allowed me to find and embrace my personal voice. I look forward to continuing that conversation with so many wonderful friends, occasionally here on the blog, on my personal web page and often on Facebook. 

Playground Monitor: On November 16, 2005, I posted my first blog post on the Writing Playground.  It was called “Serendipity and Other ‘S’ Words.”  And what a serendipity the blog has been!  How could I possibly have known how dear these wonderful women with whom I joined forces are.  They’ve seen me through good times and bad.  I was desperately afraid my lack of writing ability during and after the divorce might just have them nudging me toward the door.  That’s never happened.  Thank you to all our readers for being here with us for all this time and please do come over to Facebook and like our page there.  That’s where we’ll be sliding and swinging and teeter-tottering now.  I’m not on Twitter(yet) but if/when I start tweeting, I’ll let you know.

Congratulations!

Congratulations to Laurie G who won a free copy of Anna DeStefano's newest release Her Forgotten Betrayal.  Please email me at kira @ KiraSinclair (dot) com to claim your prize.

A Little Inspiration

I've always been a visual person. Before I started writing (and not nearly as often since then), I scrapbooked. I don't consider myself a visual artist. Mostly I scraplift (which means to take another idea and put your own spin on it). After I started writing, I spent part of my plotting time finding pictures of heroes, heroines, places. I even created my own version of collages to inspire me as I work.

Now I can't start writing without pictures. Sometimes they aren't exact. Sometimes I change eye colors or add tattoos. But I must have that starting image, because after that the story unfolds like a movie in my mind.

And who couldn't write with such inspiration?

Are you a visual person? Or do you prefer audio? Don't even get me started on my iTunes collection!

Angel

Behold, The Power Of Sugar

Y'all remember those cheese commercials a few years back? The little girl who left Santa cheese instead of cookies and got all sorts of gifts, like a pony? Well, same general idea, but not about cheese. I love cheese, don't get me wrong. But no amount of mozzarella is going to help me write a book any faster.

That takes more powerful stuff. Namely sugar and caffeine. I know, they're both bad for you. Offer no nutritional value. But I can't argue the fact that they work. A chapter can be stalled out and if I crack open a diet coke and start munching on peanut butter M&Ms, the words just start flowing. Caffeine and sugar both help you think, so its no wonder. And being kinestheic (move to think) at heart, chewing helps my brain work better, too.

Oh, but I feel guilty about it. Two week ago, I wrote four chapters over the long weekend. Four! It was awesome. And fueled by Jelly Belly jelly beans. Primarily strawberry daquiri and fresh pear. I plowed through that bag, then moved on to the rest of the M&Ms I had set aside when it was gone. Then, in desparation, I switched to gum, but that only half works.

When it comes to my fuel of choice, I'm not too picky. Things that are small, easy to pop in my mouth and don't get my fingers sticky, usually rank pretty high. Wouldn't grapes qualify? Uh, yeah, whatever. M&Ms (usually peanut butter or peanut so I can convince myself I'm getting protein) are my go to. I've been on a jelly bean kick since Easter. I had a bag of Jolly Rancher ones that I loved, but they disappeared from shelved after the holiday. I've been munching on trail mix more recently, with mixed results. Girl Scout cookies work well. As do those bags of mini Oreos. I even mowed through a box of Lucky Charms the other day. Dangerous stuff.

I tell myself that it's okay as long as I only eat that junk when I'm working. And I drink diet soda with it for the caffeine (can't drink coffee) so its only mildly criminal, right? What will I do when I write full time? Gain twenty pounds, probably.

Do you feed your muse? Any go to choices for you? Any suggestions on some stuff I could try that wouldn't induce self-flaggelation later?
SP

Change

So there are several changes going on in my life at the moment.  Zilla started a new job on Monday.  We're very grateful for the opportunity!  But this means that his schedule - and therefore my schedule - are changing.  For the past, eh, six or seven years he's been doing all of the cooking in our family.  It made sense.  He got home first.  Now I'm going to be getting home first which means cooking will be my responsibility. 

I've discovered something this week. I like cooking.  My skills - and recipes - are just really rusty.  It's going to take me some time to get back into the groove of things.  Ask Angel, she was on the phone with me during my first attempt (which was a huge hit with the family!) and enjoyed the entertainment of listening to me fumble around the kitchen.  She also answered  my stupid questions as I figured out how to make meatballs. :-) 

I've been scouring the internet and Pinterest and bugging all of my friends for their go-to recipes.  I want a nice stable of usuals so that I can vary our weekly menu.  I'm also trying to find different crock pot recipes to add to my repertoire. 

So my question today is, do you have a go-to recipe?  One that's always a hit with everyone you serve it to? Something that's quick and easy to throw together after a long day at work?  I'll start things off by sharing what I made Monday night.

Instigator

Tangy Meatballs


1 lb ground beef
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 glove garlic (crushed) use powdered if you want
½ tsp salt
1 can (8oz) jellied cranberry sauce
1 can (15oz) tomato sauce

Mix well beef, Worcestershire sauce garlic and salt. Shape into 1-inch balls. In large skillet over moderate heat brown meatballs. Add cranberry sauce. Cook and stir until sauce melts. Stir in tomato sauce. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes or until meatballs are done. Serve with (No Yolk) noodles.

The Order of Things

Order:



~ the disposition of things following one after another, as in space or time; succession or sequence: The names were listed in alphabetical order.



~ a condition in which each thing is properly disposed with reference to other things and to its purpose; methodical or harmonious arrangement: You must try to give order to your life.

It's cotton growing season here in the Tennessee Valley, and I pass this field every day on my way to work.  I've watched it go from a field left over from last year's crop, to a freshly plowed patch of earth to wee seedlings poking up toward the sun and now to these well-established plants.  And there are rows and rows and rows of them -- in this field and the one across the road and along roads all across the southern United States.


This field makes me happy, because I like order.  I like things to be in nice, neat rows.  Not OCD crazy-as-a-loon order, but within-the-range-of-normal-mental-health order.  I know where things are in my apartment (most of the time) because everything has a place (or the vicinity of a place).  The Playfriends kid me about my car because it's all clean and neat (hey, you should have seen it when I had kids) and it's like flying in an airplane used to be (there's a small pillow and blanket in the backseat and I think I walked off a Continental flight with the blanket because they had turned me into an icicle).

Lately, though, my sense of order has begun to wane.  I still keep my day planner on my desk and my life is in that book.  My cabinets are all arranged with dishes one place, glasses another and the silverware is in an organizer with knives, forks and spoons all separate and lined up like good little soldiers.

But the front closet I've been saying I needed to clean out for the last six months is still in disarray.  I finally cleaned out under the guest bathroom sink mainly because I was sure I had some Benadryl cream under there that would soothe a rash on my neck (and yes indeed, I did).

I used to make my bed every single day.  Now, I pull up the sheets and blanket and prop the pillows against the headboard.  I can't make myself leave it all messy, but I don't do the comforter/shams/extra pillows thing every day. 

I suppose I've hit a balance.  I've stopped (for the most part) expecting perfection, though you'd never know it from my obsession over my recent photo shoot.  More about that in another blog.




I guess now my life has become a little more like this part of the field.  There's still order but you can see some gaps and a few weeds here and there.  Not perfect, but good enough.



And sometimes "good enough" is well... good enough.



How about you?  Are all your rows in order?  Or do you have some gaps and weeds?  Or do you even have rows?

And now I need to stop messing with this blog post and quit trying to make the spacing perfect. 

SQUEEE!!

Today is release day for Redemption of a Hollywood Starlet!

(And isn't he just pretty!)

The tabloids just couldn’t get enough of A-List couple hotshot Producer Finn Marshall and Hollywood wild-child Caitlyn Reese. Then Caitlyn fled the glaring lights of Tinseltown, leaving an indelible mark on the Walk of Fame – and an empty seat on the back of his motorbike.
Now Cait is back! She’s still got the X-factor, and Finn is struggling to banish his X-rated thoughts! Because one thing is for sure…he isn’t just interested in a quick Hollywood retake…To interest him, it’ll have to be a full-budget epic remake…

I love, love, love Finn and I'm so glad his book is finally out!  (This is the last book of the Marshall brothers series (sob): the other two are The Privileged and the Damned and The Power and the Glory.)

Handy Links to buy your copy:   Amazon    B&N   eHarlequin

Make-up Monday

Ugh! I have to totally apologize. I'm not feeling well, and have been pouring every extra second into my current revisions. Needless to say, I'm out of words today.

I'll try to make it up to you, though.  :)  Enjoy!

Hope we all have a great Monday!

Angel

Plotter's Paradise

A couple weeks ago, I turned in my January 2013 book and now, I'm waiting for my revisions and line edits. In the meantime, I thought, maybe I'll start tinkering with my next book. It isn't due until October, but it couldn't hurt to start. The book is part of the 2013 Desire Continuity. My book is #5, the May 2013 release.

This is my first continuity. I'd heard mixed reviews on what its like to do one of those. I guess a lot of that has to do with the bible and what plot you're assigned. I also think the experience depends very highly on whether or not you're a plotter or a pantster. I could see a pantster being absolutely miserable. They already know how the book is going to end. Someone has told them. The excitement and creative high is over for them before they even start.

A plotter, on the other hand, is in HOG HEAVEN. After receiving the bible (which is what the call the series overview with all the basic stories, characters and how they connect) we have a few weeks to put together a synopsis. I did have a few bugs I had to work through on mine, my logical brain rebelled against a few plot points I was given, but I got permission to change them. I sat down on my patio one afternoon and wrote the synopsis. It was twelve pages and I got a massive sunburn, but I didn't notice because it was all going so well. Yes, the bible gives you plot points you have to hit and a general overarching storyline, but I still had to develop the characters and fill in all the plot holes. I kind of enjoyed that, as a 12 page synopsis would tell you. The continuity editor was very pleased with me. He said it was the work of a seasoned professional. I like him. :)

That was back at the beginning of April, so last Friday, I decided to sit down and start writing. I didn't want to get too far ahead with my book in case the other stories had changes that would impact me, but my book is fairly stand-alone, I'd say. I took my approved synopsis, broke it out into chunks for a chapter by chapter outline (the pantsters are cringing right now) and started. Before I went to bed Friday, chapter one was done. Saturday, chapter two was done. Sunday, chapter three was done. Monday, chapter four was done. It was awesome. The words just flowed. I knew exactly what I needed to write and where I was going. I'm hoping this helps me with the miserable middle where I lose track of the plot and get stuck. That would be great. I hate chapter seven. Like the title says "Plotter's Paradise." I might add "Pantster's Personal Hell."

I'm hoping the whole book goes this well. Last night I started putting around and wrote half of chapter five without meaning to. Nice. Did you ever have a project where everything went smoothly? Usually, whether its writing or assembling furniture, I run into a snag. Writers, have you done a continuity before? Did you like it?
SP

Summertime

School's out.  Summer is finally here...along with ultra high temperatures in Alabama.  I've managed to get my first (and hopefully only) sunburn of the season.  We've gotten our season passes to the local water park and already used them several times.  The next few months are going to be filled with fun, home improvement projects and bar-b-que.

Today I'm turning in my next Blaze (Yay!).  Of course this means I've been a mad woman for the past couple weeks juggling everything.  This weekend I have a long list of things I need to catch up on.  Yes, laundry is there, but so is sitting at the pool with a good book in my hand.

I hope you get to do the same!

Instigator

This song is older, but somehow it's what I always hear in my head when I think of summer.

We interrupt this programming...

I had another blog mostly written for today but it's just going to have to go on the back burner because...

My older son and daughter-in-law are expecting baby number two and learned yesterday that it's another girl.  BabyGrand, who will turn 6 next month, is DELIGHTED (because someone told her little brothers were mean).

I think the kids found a great way to break the news to her.  What do you think?



The search for a name is on, but they have until roughly the first of November to decide.   If she's born on Halloween, at least #1 son is grown up enough not to name her Jaysona or Freddye.  We got a female cat on a Friday the 13th once and the boys wanted to name her Freddy.  I nixed that quickly, but she ended up being named Spook.

I'm excited about another granddaughter.  I've LOVED shopping in the pink department but I'd have been just as excited about a grandson.  After all, I have years and years of experience with little boys.

Once again, I've been spending too much time on YouTube (I'm avoiding revisions, can't you tell?).

I must now share these videos with you so that I can say I was doing blog research and not just killing time.

So here are the videos that made me smile this week.


Fighting Baby Ballerinas:



Stella's first big audition:
(You may want to skip to about 3:05 if you just want to see Stella, but the whole thing is quite sweet. Stella has talent!)



Another SYTYD audition:
(Skip to the one minute mark for the drool-worthiness to start. He's a phenomenal dancer as well.)



The Chihuahua's Escape:



And just because I like to make Smarty Pants squirm:

Memorial Day 2012

Some days, I feel like an imposter. Yes, I know today is Memorial Day. Its been all over Facebook with poignant pictures like this one.

They're beautiful, and remind me to feel truly grateful and proud of my many family members (including my father and several uncles) who served in every branch of the armed forces except the Marines. I even grew up in a town centered around a navy military base.

But I also feel slightly unpatriotic. You see, as an adult (and even in my teen years), we never celebrated these holidays in the traditional sense. We don't go to any local parades or Memorial Day events. My husband (in his former career and his new one) has always worked on these patriotic holidays. The kids and I are on our own for most of the day, so we rest, hang out, maybe catch a movie. Some years we'll get together with extended family or friends for a BBQ, but for the most part our holidays are simply a break from the rush of our normal routine.

And I'm very grateful to the men and women who gave their lives so I can enjoy this time with my family! What about your family? How do y'all normally spend your Memorial Day holiday?

Angel

Winner!

Happy Memorial Day weekend! The winner of my "Win It Before You Can Buy It" giveaway of a copy of More Than He Expected, my July Desire, is.... JANE! Email me your information at author (at) andrealaurence (dot) com. Congrats, Jane!

SP

Book of Your Heart

Everyone talks about writing the book of your heart. That when you're frustrated or not feeling like your career is moving forward, that maybe the thing to do is stop and let yourself write the book you really want to write. The story and characters that call to you while you're writing what you 'should' write.

I have that book. Its the one I've been tinkering with for years. The one that has always been special to me, but that I always felt was a little too out there. It needed work, which is part of the reason it was rejected in the past, but it also didn't fit into any of those neat marketing boxes that the publishers like so much. Yes, it is a special snowflake book. But I love it. Everyone who reads it loves it, including my agent, who signed me after just reading the first few chapters. I don't think there's anything quite like it on the market right now.

Which is why I'm holding my breath. After years of polishing, multiple revisions and incarnations, the book of my heart is being shopped. Today. I'm so nervous. This book has definitely grown up and gone to college since most people saw it. So I'm hopeful. I'm not expecting news to come any time soon. It takes time. While I'd love to have a couple of my top publishers fighting over me in an auction that lands me a "nice" deal, right now, I'll be happy to have any publisher take a chance. Self-publishing, if nothing else, has shown publishers that a book can be commercially successful without fitting neatly in a box.

So, we'll see. I'm going to be a wreck for weeks. Have you written the book of your heart yet? Any luck getting it out into the world? As a reader, can you tell when an author is really and truly in love with their stories and their characters?
SP

May Best of the Bookshelf

Summer is starting.  What does this mean? BEACH READS!  I know I"m looking forward to some serious time lounging next to the pool with a book in my hands.  Our local water park opens this weekend and I intend to be there for three days straight.




Angel is reading My Reckless Surrender by Anna Campbell.

I love, love, love this author – even though I rarely read historical romance any more. Her characters are always out of the box and powerfully motivated! I can’t help but be drawn into her impossible situations where love triumphs when you least expect it. In Reckless Surrender, widow Diana Carrick ached to own the house where her family has always worked, but it will soon pass into the hands of rogue Earl Tarquin Vale. Imagine her surprise when she offers her body to him, and he turns her down! What kind of rogue is that? Her desperate plans force her to tempt him in other ways, leading to all manner of naughty exchanges and unconventional circumstances. But it is ultimately her secret motivations that might cost them their love. Reading Reckless Surrender will lead you down a fascinating path with a surprise ending!

Smarty Pants is reading Redemption of a Hollywood Starlet by Kimberly Lang
 

I know what you're thinking - this book isn't out until June. But lucky me scored a copy at the Romantic Times conference and I couldn't wait to find out how the Marshall Brothers trilogy would end. If you read the first two - The Privileged & the Damned and the Power & the Glory, then you've probably been waiting impatiently for the youngest brother Finn to have his shot at love. Readers won't be disappointed as he finds it on the front page of the tabloid news with Hollywood bad girl Caitlyn Reese.

Playground Monitor is reading A Deeper Darkness by J.T. Ellison

As a medical examiner, Samantha Owens knows her job is to make a certain sense of death with crisp methodology and precision instruments. 

But the day the Tennessee floods took her husband and children, the light vanished from Sam's life. She has been pulled into a suffocating grief no amount of workaholic ardor can penetrate—until she receives a peculiar call from Washington, D.C.

On the other end of the line is an old boyfriend's mother, asking Sam to do a second autopsy on her son. Eddie Donovan is officially the victim of a vicious carjacking, but under Sam's sharp eye the forensics tell a darker story. The ex-Ranger was murdered, though not for his car.
Forced to confront the burning memories and feelings about yet another loved one killed brutally, Sam loses herself in the mystery contained within Donovan's old notes. It leads her to the untouchable Xander, a soldier off-grid since his return from Afghanistan, and then to a series of brutal crimes stretching from that harsh mountainous war zone to this nation's capital. The tale told between the lines makes it clear that nobody's hands are clean, and that making sense of murder sometimes means putting yourself in the crosshairs of death.

One of my fave TV shows is about a medical examiner and this heroine is an ME too. The book involves the recent floods in Nashville. And J.T. Ellison will be our luncheon speaker next year. Sounds like a winning combination of reasons to read this book!

Problem Child is reading Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

There’s an awful lot of hype about this book, but I’ve heard mixed reviews.  One person I know is convinced I’ll hate it, but wants me to read it anyway because she hates it and wants someone on her side in the fight. Another friend loved it and is convinced I’ll love it too.  Throw in the number of people who love it and think I’ll hate it or vice-versa, and you can see why I’ve put it on my TBR pile.  There’s obviously something there that’s attracting and polarizing people, so I’m curious.  Plus, most people assume I’ve read it and are then surprised when I can’t carry on a conversation about it.  So, I’ve gotta see for myself what’s going on.

Instigator is reading Insurgent by Veronica Roth

I've been waiting for the release of the second book in the Divergent series for what feels like forever.  It released at a dangerous time - when I had my own deadline to worry about - and I knew the moment I started it I wouldn't be able to think about anything but tearing through the pages.  And I was right!  Insurgent is a face paced read that hooked me from the first page and just wouldn't let go.  But the secret to this series success is in the main character Beatrice Prior.  She's what every person wishes they could be - strong, honorable, selfless - while still managing to struggle with the same issues we all do - love, loss, self-understanding.  Her struggle to find her place in the world is interesting to watch and something everyone can relate to.

So, what are you reading this month? 

P.S.  I'm blogging about baby cougars at the Blaze blog today. Stop by! www.blazeauthors.com

Gnilleps *

To say I've been under stress for a couple years would be an understatement.  According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, I score pretty high.

Here's their list of stressful life events and the points associated with each.  Add the number of "Life Change Units" that apply for the past year to get your score.  Interpretation of the score is below the list.

Death of a spouse 100
Divorce 73
Marital separation 65
Imprisonment 63
Death of a close family member 63
Personal injury or illness 53
Marriage 50
Dismissal from work 47
Marital reconciliation 45
Retirement 45
Change in health of family member 44
Pregnancy 40
Sexual difficulties 39
Gain a new family member 39
Business readjustment 39
Change in financial state 38
Death of a close friend 37
Change to different line of work 36
Change in frequency of arguments 35
Major mortgage 32
Foreclosure of mortgage or loan 30
Change in responsibilities at work 29
Child leaving home 29
Trouble with in-laws 29
Outstanding personal achievement 28
Spouse starts or stops work 26
Begin or end school 26
Change in living conditions 25
Revision of personal habits 24
Trouble with boss 23
Change in working hours or conditions 20
Change in residence 20
Change in schools 20
Change in recreation 19
Change in church activities 19
Change in social activities 18
Minor mortgage or loan 17
Change in sleeping habits 16
Change in number of family reunions 15
Change in eating habits 15
Vacation 13
Christmas 12
Minor violation of law 11

Score of 300+: At risk of illness.
Score of 150-299+: Risk of illness is moderate (reduced by 30% from the above risk).
Score 150-: Only have a slight risk of illness.

My score for the past year is 206.  Ugh.  If you add in events that go back three years, I top out over 400 points. 

My divorce, a move and change in financial status and living conditions, a new job, death of a close friend, my mother's two surgeries, the auto accident and my injuries, holidays, vacations -- it all adds up.

So it's no wonder I've struggled with some stress-related health issues.  And that's what led me to watch a fascinating National Geographic documentary called STRESS:  The Silent Killer.  What an eye opener!  And sometimes in a scary way.

I'm going to recap some of the info I found most interesting.  (CAUTION:  Geek Alert!)

Stanford neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky says that that people, apes and monkeys are intelligent and sociable creatures with a lot of free time.  So why do we suffer from more stress-related illness than other animals?

"Primates are super smart and organized just enough to devote their free time to being miserable to each other and stressing each other out," he said. "But if you get chronically, psychosocially stressed, you're going to compromise your health. So, essentially, we've evolved to be smart enough to make ourselves sick."

Not encouraging, huh?

We respond to stress by releasing hormones that increase our heart rate and energy level.  It's the fight or flight response.  These hormones help us survive threats.  But we also release these hormones during non-threatening stress.  And the long-term exposure to them increases our chances of cardio-vascular disease, diabetes and gastrointestinal disorders.  The immune system can be compromised and brain function related to learning and memory can be affected as well. 

Children who suffer massive stress often exhibit a syndrome called stress dwarfism because normal growth hormones are suppressed.

Sapolsky studies baboons, which live in social environments where there are type-A baboons and low-ranking ones -- very much like our society.  He found that social rank and personality play significant roles, but social isolation may be even more important.

Another scientist, Dr. Carol Shively of Wake Forest University, has studied macaque monkeys for over thirty years and found that psychological stress increased the amount of visceral fat (AKA belly fat) in her subjects.  This same phenomenon is found in humans.  I have only to look around the divorce recovery group I facilitate to see woman after woman after woman with extra weight around the middle.  It can't be coincidence, since divorce is #2 on the stress list.

What was very encouraging, however, were the findings that social support can help reverse some of the deleterious effects of stress.  According to Sapolsky, happiness and self-esteem are important factors in reducing stress.  And contrary to popular opinion, neither are necessarily related to money.  Some of the poorest countries have some of the happiest citizens.

Studies have also suggested that chronic stress affects our DNA.  The ends of our chromosomes are called telomeres.  They shorten with age and the exposed ends begin to fray.  Stress accelerates the shortening process.  Telomerase is an enzyme that heals stress damage to the telomeres.  This is getting pretty technical, but hang with me folks because there's good news.

Dr. Elizabeth Blackburn, the 2009 Nobel Prize winner for medicine, has found that connecting with others helps increase production of telomerase. Compassion and caring for others can help us heal ourselves.

Several of us here at the Writing Playground have blogged about Random Acts of Kindness.  You can go up to the top left corner of the blog, type in "random acts of kindness" and find all the blog posts about it.  Well, it seems those RAKs really are good for us.

Getting together with others and talking about your problems is good too.  Dr. Blackburn visited a group of mothers, all of whom had children with special needs.  She found that their fellowship and camaraderie helped them cope with the brutally stressful roles they played.  These mothers laughed and cried with each other and left each meeting feeling uplifted and a little bit better about the day.

I have the Playfriends to get together with.  We're actually in the process of planning a dinner and sleepover soon.  We'll talk, we'll plot and brainstorm and no doubt we'll bitch.  But we'll all feel better when our time together is over.

I also have my divorce support group.  We talk, we help and encourage each other and we bitch.  And we always feel better when our time together is over.  I also act in the capacity of facilitator, and invariably helping someone else deal with the grief of divorce helps me chip away at the grief of mine.

Do you have a group you get with to help you cope with whatever it is that stresses your life?  Just remember that stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS!



*Gnilleps is one of the spelling challenges in the board game, Cranium, which is a favorite pasttime of the Playfriends.  And in case you haven't figured it out, gnilleps is spelling spelled backwards.

A week left to enter...

Like these...?      

What about this...?

Then enter my contest!

To celebrate the release (next week!) of Redemption of a Hollywood Starlet, I'm giving away autographed copies of all three books in the Marshall Brothers' series and this beautiful jewelry set designed especially for this contest by Renee at RazzMaTazz. 

Entering is easy. Pop over to my website for the rules and the entry info. Mention in your entry that you're a Honorary Playfriend, and I'll give you a second entry! 

The deadline to enter is June 1st, so don't delay!

Don't Bother Me... I'm Sleepin'

I hate being woken in the middle of the night. Whether its by my muse, my hubby, the kids (usually when its storming), or a crying baby (once upon a time), there is nothing more sure to make my mood take a nosedive.

 I've always found this kind of weird. After all, if I didn't have children and a day job, I'd be nocturnal. Stay up really late at night and sleep half the morning. That's my natural sleep rhythms. So I should be happy to be up during the night, right? But once I fall asleep, I don't like being woken up. At all. And as an 8-hour-per-night girl, there's a lot of opportunity for it to happen.

I do think there are a few things that contribute to the interrupted sleep melodrama: 1. I sleep really hard. I can usually fall asleep within a few minutes (15 at the most) and sleep very deep until early morning, when I start to toss and turn. 2. Once interrupted, I have a very difficult time going back to sleep. Especially if I have to get up and move, which can lead to hours of wishing I was asleep but simply laying there. I've tried getting up and doing something, but then I'm just grumpier from being up in the middle of the night, because with kids, you're up by 7 whether you want to be or not.

 At least, that's my explanation, and I’m sticking to it. :)

 So tell me, after you noctural, or one of those weird people who love daybreak?

 Angel

 P.S. This blog post brought to you by the cat that threw up in my bed last night!

New Book Love

The end of Februay, I was a nervous wreck. I knew, I just knew, the first copies of my book would show up at my doorstep any day now. I watched. I waited. I stalked the UPS guy. No luck. I went out of town, and of course they showed up while I was away. But what a great thing to come home to!

Lately, I've been so busy, I haven't had time to obsess. March and April were a blur of promotion for What Lies Beneath. Answering fan mail. Going to RT and other booksignings. Writing and naming my third book scheduled for January of next year. Busy, busy.

So imagine my surprise when I noticed that my July shelfmate, Sarah M. Anderson, had posted a picture on Twitter of her newly arrived book. It snuck up on me! I rushed home, but no books. Waited around for a while. No books. Went to the store and came back. No books. But finally, finally, my hard-working UPS guy rang my doorbell and brought copies of my July book - More Than He Expected!

Here's the back cover blurb:

The Exception to the Rule

Playboy Alex Stanton likes his relationships short and without strings. But his fiery fling with Gwen Wright left him craving more. So when a holiday weekend getaway provides an opportunity for another taste of the tantalizing woman, he grabs it. Only, things have changed since their last encounter….

Besides being noticeably pregnant, Gwen insists she’s sworn off men. As if the challenge weren’t tempting enough, Gwen’s enticing new curves have made the sexy spitfire even more appealing. But how can the footloose bachelor hang on to his heart when he can’t stop longing for the soon-to-be mama?

I love getting mail, especially when its my book! I bet you like getting mail, too. So to celebrate, here's a 'win it before you can buy it' contest for a copy of my July release. To enter, comment on the blog today and tell me about the best package you ever received.
SP