Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Bad Fortune...

The Chinese place down the road from my house has excellent food. They also sell fabulous kimchi, which I'm pretty sure isn't Chinese, but is very tasty nonetheless.

But they have crappy fortune cookies.

For years, I didn't eat fortune cookies. I didn't care for the taste, but I'd crack those things open for the fortune. That was one of the best parts of the meal. You had to read them aloud to the rest of the table, everyone would add "in bed," and you'd all have a great laugh.

Good times.

But our awesome place for Chinese food has the worst fortune cookies. The fortune cookie makers obviously got hold of Poor Richard's Almanac and Hester's Book of Ridiculously Trite Platitudes to Bore Your Friends* and used that.

So now our fortunes aren't fun at all. "You should visit an historic site." "Blood is thicker than water." "Planting trees is good for the earth."

What? These aren't fortunes. Where's my promise to meet a handsome stranger? Or the prediction that I'll lose something of value? I mean, they're not even trying. They could at least re-word the fortunes, like "You will help the earth by planting trees, " or "You will visit an historic site." Sheesh. I want a fortune in my fortune cookie!

Even AC finds them sad excuses for real fortune cookies. The most fun we can have now is finding the typos in the fortune cookie. Our fortune cookies were obviously not proofread before they went to print.

And, yes, searching for typos is what passes for fun around Casa PC. We are an odd group.

If I can't have good fortune, at least give me good fortune cookies!

(Does everyone add "in bed" to the fortune in the fortune cookie?)


*No, that book doesn't exist, but wouldn't it be awesome if it did.


Playground Monitor said...

I had lunch with friends at a Chinese restaurant sometime last fall, and she introduced me to a new fortune cookie habit: you must eat all the cookie before you can read your fortune. So I did. And that fortune mentioned coming into some money soon and not long after I got the final financial settlement from my divorce. Guess who eats all her fortune cookie before reading the fortune now? Obviously this place doesn't use Poor Richard's Almanac and Hester's Book of Ridiculously Trite Platitudes to Bore Your Friends. ~grin~

I haven't done the "in bed" thing in years. My Chinese food crowd prefers to focus on eating the cookie.

Maven Linda said...

I've never done the "in bed" thing, because I've never heard of it before now. Alas, I'm probably the only Chinese-food lover in my family, and when I HAVE gone to a Chinese restaurant I've never heard groups of people shouting "in bed!" as they read their fortunes, either.

But I like the fortune cookies. They taste good :-).

Cheryl C. said...

Kimchi is Korean. My dad hates the stuff (could be from the time he was in the Korean Conflict) and I hate the smell.

Fortune cookies lately have all fallen flat. It must be the little guy typing them. He has hit a pessimistic phase in his life. LOL My last one was also about visiting a historic place. Did you know that fortune cookies are an American thing? We came up with them.

Darling Geek said...

I have two fortune cookies taped to my monitor from the Chinese buffer down the road from work (unfortunately, neither has come true):

Someone is speaking well of you (in bed).

You will be selected for a promotion because of your accomplishments (in bed).

Jean Hovey said...

Oh, yes my crowd does that. Every time. Because we are in the 8th grade sometimes.

Angel said...

I think our local Chinese food restaurant must be getting their cookies from the same place. They aren't fortunes, just boring sayings. They seriously need to find a better supplier. :)

Smarty Pants said...

Lately, I've been getting a lot of what I call "statement cookies." While I agree, friends make life special, its not a fortune. Its a statement. Boo.

And yes, my firewall still thinks we're an adult content blog and blocked me at work. Grr.

Anonymous said...

We tried a new Chinese restaurant in our area on the second time there for take out I recieved the worst Chinese fortune ever! "A carrot a day may keep cancer away." who gets fortunes like this!! Well anyway I may not be looking for the cookie next visit and I certainly hope it never comes true!