Friday, March 19, 2010

So-o-o-o Over It

Over what, you ask? Um... pretty much anything you can think of short of chocolate and my iPhone, and even the shine of my iPhone has worn off a bit.

The first quarter of 2010 is almost over. This year was supposed to be AWESOME. Well, according to my horoscope, at least. So far, the highlights include bad things that haven't happened as opposed to good things that have, like not losing my job. Yay, I haven't caught swine flu or had some other major life tragedy. Let's celebrate. : I'm thankful I don't have anything like that happening, but it would also be nice to have something good and exciting happen. Something. Anything.

Things I'm over includes, but is not limited to:

- Food. Yet I continue to shove it in my face because I'm also over Dieting. I have no interest in anything, good or bad for me. I've been eating what's easy because I just don't care enough to put in the effort. I'm also a stress eater. I've hit the point where my clothes are either too tight or not wearable, but I refuse to buy more. Because I'm going to lose this last 10 pounds that put me over the edge. Right? Right. I was still fighting the last 10 pounds when this new 10 pounds came on, so now I have 20 pounds, probably closer to 40 to deal with. Low carb, no carb, points, glycemic indexes, elliptical machines, pilates... My brain just officially shut down in protest. Anyone have some chocolate? Why are my pants tight again?

- Politics, the Economy, the News, etc. I won't get into my personal leanings, but I am darn tired of hearing about it. Blah, blah, whine, blah, finger point, blah. I'm done. And I have a degree in political science! I usually am not that interested in the Olympics, but this year it was a pleasant distraction from all the crap that's on tv anymore. I may just crawl into a hole and watch Bones reruns for a few years.

- Bad Weather. I live in Alabama. ALABAMA. The kids are going to be making up so many snow days, they'll have a 2 week summer vacation and start back up again. My friend in Wyoming actually posted on Facebook that it hasn't snowed there at all. Seriously? What is going on? No snow in Wyoming and my brother in law is digging out of four feet snow drifts in Baltimore. When it isn't snowing or freezing cold, its raining. And let's not forget that April kicks off tornado season. Time for the daily sirens to go off. Productivity goes out the window when you're constantly stopping and crawling into the storm shelter. By the time that clears up, we'll have three gorgeous days before we hit humid and 90 degrees. Why do I live here?

- My Writing. It doesn't matter what I write, its not interesting. I've got a couple different ideas started but writing them is about as exciting as watching paint dry. I've got a couple things I could edit and submit to another publisher, but its like pulling teeth. I dusted off a proposal I've been meaning to send and noticed the date on the query letter was May. Of last year. I guess I'll get right on top of that. Golden Heart announcements come out the end of this month. Whatever. Agent/editor appointments for Nationals are soon. Yeah. I have a workshop to put together before June. Fan-frickin-tastic. Oh, and the retreat and the Nashville meet and greet and the luncheon and...

- Social Networking. Both on the computer and real life. Lately, it takes all I've got to reply on blogs and Facebook, much less carry a conversation in person. Things I normally look forward to, like our chapter meetings, are now more of a chore than anything else. I don't think I'm the only one. My email loops have been downright stagnant. No one is posting anything. Is this some kind of universal crisis? Is this funk caused by some kind of negative ion cloud that has enveloped me and all my friends? Makes me understand why some blogs and websites close after a few years. When you're posting because you have to, not because you want to, there's no point in continuing.

I am just worn down. I actually chopped about six inches off my hair recently because I was just tired of dealing with it. I'm on the verge of throwing out every third thing I own just so I don't have to deal with it anymore. The mere idea of "filling the well" sounds like a chore that involves water and buckets and I'm about as interested in that as I am with dealing with my spring landscaping chores.

Hmm... sounds like I've thrown a Whine About it Wednesday party for myself. Join me so its not a bitter party of one. What are you over?
SP

22 comments:

Playground Monitor said...

Don't get me started.

PM's Mother said...

Just remember -- "The glass is half FULL!"

Meandi's corner said...

oh I'm with you and have a serious case of the blahs myself this month. I'm looking forward to Nothing. Y whats the point. I started out thinkin it was the winter blahs and now as spring moves in I kid myself no more, I just hit the rut in the road of life and got a flat tire I think

Instigator said...

Maybe we all need a tropical vacation. Someplace warm (but not Mexico!) where we can sit on a beach and drink fruity drinks. Or maybe we all need a tropical vacation where we can pull the covers over our heads and sleep for 3 days straight. Either one works for me. Oh yeah, I have a family that would frown on my vacationing without them. Sigh.

Instigator

Maven Linda said...

Weather: El Nino year. Last time I checked, it's beginning to weaken.

Blahs: Could be cabin fever. There's a lot of it going around. We need sunshine. See above.

Complete lack of interest: Sounds like you have a health issue going on. Seriously. I've been there. When even the smallest detail is overwhelming and too much to deal with, no energy, no interest, etc. -- it's time to see a good endocrinologist. Unfortunately, for that you have to go to either Vanderbilt or Birmingham.

Not that I'm bossy or anything :-).

Linda Winstead Jones said...

First of all, you need sunshine. We all do! If we get to actually see the sun today, get outside.

We obviously need a de-funkify day. :-/

Kathy said...

Actually this is quite normal. ;) Spring has not yet sprung, the time just changed, the weather is in constant flux, and though summer is near, it seems so far out of reach. This is commonly referred to as 'limbo'.

You, my dear friend, are so close in so many areas, that you are feeling the 'limbo' syndrome. Like a child growing out of kid-dome but not quite an adolescent. Hang on! There is a light at the end of the tunnel and before you know it, you will reemerge as the magnificent butterfly from your safe but confining cocoon. And oh! what colors you will fashion!

As to weight issues, you've hit a plateau. But don't give up! Eventually, you will soar ever higher on the wings of your goals as long as you stay true to what works for you. Don't give in to the 'nothing works' mentality.

And like me, though you don't want to think about it, and you've promised yourself that it's just another submission, the GH results are on your mind. I'm afraid to hope for myself too. But without hope, without that spark which resides inside all of us urging us to try new things, we would never achieve success.

I urge you to put on rose colored glasses today. Look upon your life with a renewed sense of worth. For you are truly one of the best!!! XOXO

Smarty Pants said...

Kathy, you kill me sometimes. I'm a tween butterfly. :)

Things are looking up. My verification word is "Parde". You've gotta fight for your right to parde!

Jean said...

You live her because I need you to; you enrich my life. And it's all about me.

I do believe lack of sunshine is a factor. I enjoy a stormy day--not a season. I found that out this year.

As to what I'm tired of: being told "This is so good--but not for us". But before that I was tired of "Dear Whoeveryouare: Not for us."

Instigator said...

Jean, you brighten my day and make me smile. :-)

SP, I want you to know that I just spent 30 minutes researching discount cruises. I can't go. I know I can't go. But I really want some sunshine.

Insti

Kathy said...

Even tween butterflies fly free. :)

Parde? Did I hear you wanna parde? Bring Jack aboard and I am so there with you. ;)

And as to moving? I did not address that earlier. There will be none of that talk, matey.

Playground Monitor said...

Oookay! I am sooooooo over this effin' printer that was replaced last November and is now doing the same thing that caused it to be replaced. Only now I wonder if the company will consider it still under warranty. Guess I won't know until I call Bob in New Delhi and find out. ~sigh~

Word verification: woryth. This printer woryth me.

Lynn Raye Harris said...

Oh my goodness, y'all. I do think it's sunshine deprivation, in part! 2010 hasn't been off to a rollicking good start at all. Sometimes, life throws curve balls you never even saw coming. The best you can do is realize that life isn't static and this too shall pass.

The dangerous place I've found myself recently is admiring everyone else's life and career -- and thinking mine is messed up, that I'm a flash in the pan, and that I'm about to fizzle and burn. I tell myself it's silliness and I must stop.

I've researched cruises. I've looked at real estate in Hawaii (caught Hubby doing it two days ago too), I've looked at my air miles and figured how I can get to Hawaii in the fall, I've thought of going to Europe. I've even started major projects in my house -- though thankfully I've hired people to do it for me.

I think Kathy's wisdom is sound, btw. Love the tween butterfly metaphor. :) Could also be medical, as Linda said. If it continues too long, I'd get it checked out.

Hugs, but know you are not alone.

Mark said...

I feel your pain!
Food - I am so sick of being yelled at by the doctors I want to eat just to spite them..seriously. I am a rational adult, acting like a broken record and repeating that every single problem I have from a bone spur in my neck to dizzyness can be "helped" by losing weight, simply makes me doubt the whole thing.
Politics - ugh! I am so sick of it, I simply turn it off. The dreaded bill won't make a whit of difference, after more than a year of screaming/whining/pleading/freaking. I've had to remove myself from several blogs I used to subscribe to, the screaming and angst was just giving me a heartache.
Writing - You might consider writing something that does excite you, something that will never see the light of day but it is just for fun..a twilight fan-fiction or Sherlock-Holmes versus Limbaugh or something to give you a pep in your step.
If all else fails, remember those 3 days of sunshine are coming!

Angel said...

Ugh. We must be twins. :)

I'm a glass half empty kind of girl. No matter how much I try to think on the bright side, I always revert to that. So I've learned to make the best of it.

Mostly, I just soldier on, but I have tried to consistently exercise and take my vitamins, which helps me not only feel better but more in control. I give myself permission to just do something I want to, like reading a book, instead of focusing on what those around me think I should be doing. In general, I'm just trying to be nice to myself, because i know I'll never get through this if I run myself into the ground.

Might not be the best plan of attack, but it's all I've got. :)

My biggest whine? Why can't something work out the first time around? Life would be much easier if i didn't have to keep redoing things over and over.

Angel

Kathy said...

Quote from P&P: "I'm not good with people I don't know."

"Then take your aunt's advice and practice."

Practice seeing the glass half full. Give yourself time to dream, to plan on going where you've never been. Hang onto moments of silence. Listen to a bird sing. Watch a tween butterfly coast upon a springtime breeze. ;)

We all sit on the edge of a precipice of change. That's why the butterfly analogy works so well. We've been in a winter cocoon, shut inside our caves like hybernating bears. We are hungry. We want to spread our wings. Now is the time! Don't let anything stand in your way. Divide and conquer!!

Anyone else feel like strapping on Viking garb and preparing to explore the world or at least, look for the nearest bee hive?

Maven Linda said...

I'm with LJ. We need a serious defunkifying. And I'd like to do it onboard a ship bound for the Bahamas, or Cancun.

My verification word is huccing. I'm huccing sick of winter. I think that's the correct usage.

Smarty Pants said...

*perk*

Cruise, you say? I could totally be talked into that, although I think Mexico is probably a bad idea right now. Kira's been looking at them online today. We could get a good deal.

I have my passport in my purse. Let's do it.

Caroline Storer said...

(((HUGS)))

Angel said...

My husband might resort to murder if I try to run away from home... Not that I care, some days. :)

Angel

Playground Monitor said...

Yes, indeed, Maven Linda, that is the correct usage of huccing. ~grin~

And just let me know when we're gonna defunkify and I'll be there!

Instigator said...

I am totally in for defunkifying! And the cruise sounds pretty dang good to me too. :-)

Instigator