SP and PC Do : Yoga

PC and I both started out the New Year with a desire to be better to our bodies and therefore, take some fitness classes. We opted to start out with yoga. I’d done yoga before and always found it relaxing, even if it was tough at times. The classes I took before were part of a gym membership, so this time, we found a place that just does yoga.

So we went to the first class and liked it enough to buy a 5 class discount pass. There were various classes with different teachers, so we decided to try a couple different ones out. PC decided she liked Marcy. (Just as a note, as a former dancer, PC is attracted to instructors who punish her. Me, not so much.) Anyway, Marcy looks about 22, although she mentioned having a kid graduating college, so she must be in her 40s. She’s tiny, blonde, very cute. You almost like her. Then class starts.

She always starts off with easy stuff – classic beginner poses like these -

Downward Dog

Triangle Pose

For a beginner, these are hard enough. Sometimes they feel good at first, then you hold it for 10 slow, even breaths and its no longer fun. The teachers “adjust” you to get you in the right position, usually making me pray not to tip over and take PC out like a domino. One instructor (just happened to be a guy that day) patted her sides to get her to tense up the muscles and from my position on my head, I could've swore he smacked her on the hind end. This, of course, launched me into a massive giggle fit, which is a yoga no-no. As is talking. PC and I have some issues with these rules. We’ve managed to get by with eye rolls and muttering the occasional “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

This usually comes around the time that Marcy steps it up to harder stuff like this –

Side Plank. This pose gets even worse, but I’ll spare you the modification. My knee goes down every time. The problem with this pose it that you have already been up on your arms in various poses for quite a while, so by then, you’re shaking like a leaf and about to face plant into the concrete floor.

The Plow Pose. In class, I could’ve swore she said "cloud," but this is what the website called it. I probably misheard her because all the blood trapped in my head was flooding my ears.

Monkey Pose, otherwise known as the fricking splits! She asked all of us if we’d done this in class yet this year. I announced that I hadn’t done the splits since birth. Little did we know that this was just a warmup for doing splits up against the wall.

Shoulder Stand. I know this was pretty for people watching all of us try to do this.

I have this rule about my butt going over my head. The shoulder stand was bad enough, but then she wanted us to do an actual handstand. Despite attempting this pose up against a wall for support, I still must protest. I am not 7, therefore handstands, splits, and cartwheels are out of my league. Can we just go back to child’s pose?

So, PC and I have completed our 5 class pass. She was eyeing the 10 class pass, so I think there may be more headstands in my future. Think I could talk her into belly dancing classes instead?

All I know is one thing - the day she asks us to do this one, I quit.

The Firefly Pose (sounds pretty, right??)

Anything you could do in the glory days of your youth that would warrant a trip to the ER or the orthopedic surgeon if you tried it now?

SP

PS. Today is the One Year Anniversary of Beyond Her Book - Barbara Vey's blog on Publisher's Weekly. Come join the party!