Being John Scalzi (Or how I stalked the wrong person in a bar.)

So, I’m going to RT and my DG is not impressed.

Until he finds out that John Scalzi will be at RT. My Geek goes geeky, digs through a several boxes of books until he finds just the right one, and sends it with me to Ohio with instructions to get John Scalzi’s signature. He’s serious.

But it seems John Scalzi is a pretty popular guy and RT is a big conference and I don’t want to disappoint my Geek since he just doesn’t geek out over much. I’m determined to find John Scalzi.

So, we’re at the bar Tuesday night, and I see a guy who resembles John Scalzi. Lynn and I break out the conference guide (which has a handy author photo of John Scalzi), and we compare. Remembering that few people actually look like their author photos, and we’re viewing this guy in the bar from a bit of a distance, through a crowd. We debate. We compare. We debate some more. I’d had two beers by then, so it was time to suck it up and go see.

Off I go.

I approach nicely, catch his eye, smile, and ask, “Are you John Scalzi?”

His response: “Who?”

Lovely. It’s bad enough to stalk someone, but to stalk the wrong person? ~sigh~

Turns out, my Scalzi lookalike was Scott Carpenter (aka SL Carpenter of EC and Samhain), and he’s a total sweetie and good sport. We became great friends and spent a great deal of time chatting. (Yes, in the bar.) Here we are later in the week.

If I had to stalk the wrong guy in the bar, at least I picked a fun one and it all turned out well. (And by Saturday, Scott had embellished the tale to the point where I had my breasts out as I purred at him and slid into his lap. His story, he can tell it his way.)

But what about DG’s book, you ask?

The saga continues….

Later on, Lynn goes onto Twitter, finds John Scalzi and tweets that Kimberly Lang is stalking him at RT. Surprisingly, John Scalzi responds that he will be at the booksigning. That’s all well and good, but the booksigning isn’t allowing outside books in. If I want DG’s book signed, I’ve got to find John Scalzi somewhere else. We scour the RT program for John Scalzi’s panel, arrive early, and sit in the second row. Scalzi shows up and is immediately pounced upon by yours truly, as I thrust DG’s book under his nose before he’s even fully settled in. (But without flashing my breasts in any way, thankyouverymuch.) Thankfully, he, too, was a good sport about it.

Lynn snapped the photo to prove it.
In thanks, I did attend the booksigning with three newly purchased books for Scalzi to sign. Of course, we’ve bonded by this time, John Scalzi and I, and one of the inscriptions reads: “To DG, Your wife is an awesome stalker.”

Why do I get the feeling that next year, Scalzi will come armed with a restraining order?

So it all worked out in the end. I got DG’s book signed. I picked up some new books for him – also signed. I made a new friend who I hope will come hang out at the Playground. No one got arrested for stalking. Added to the lack of injuries sustained by yours truly at RT and I consider this a success.

So, am I alone here? Anyone else ever stalked the wrong person – in a bar or elsewhere?

PC