Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Being John Scalzi (Or how I stalked the wrong person in a bar.)

So, I’m going to RT and my DG is not impressed.

Until he finds out that John Scalzi will be at RT. My Geek goes geeky, digs through a several boxes of books until he finds just the right one, and sends it with me to Ohio with instructions to get John Scalzi’s signature. He’s serious.

But it seems John Scalzi is a pretty popular guy and RT is a big conference and I don’t want to disappoint my Geek since he just doesn’t geek out over much. I’m determined to find John Scalzi.

So, we’re at the bar Tuesday night, and I see a guy who resembles John Scalzi. Lynn and I break out the conference guide (which has a handy author photo of John Scalzi), and we compare. Remembering that few people actually look like their author photos, and we’re viewing this guy in the bar from a bit of a distance, through a crowd. We debate. We compare. We debate some more. I’d had two beers by then, so it was time to suck it up and go see.

Off I go.

I approach nicely, catch his eye, smile, and ask, “Are you John Scalzi?”

His response: “Who?”

Lovely. It’s bad enough to stalk someone, but to stalk the wrong person? ~sigh~

Turns out, my Scalzi lookalike was Scott Carpenter (aka SL Carpenter of EC and Samhain), and he’s a total sweetie and good sport. We became great friends and spent a great deal of time chatting. (Yes, in the bar.) Here we are later in the week.

If I had to stalk the wrong guy in the bar, at least I picked a fun one and it all turned out well. (And by Saturday, Scott had embellished the tale to the point where I had my breasts out as I purred at him and slid into his lap. His story, he can tell it his way.)

But what about DG’s book, you ask?

The saga continues….

Later on, Lynn goes onto Twitter, finds John Scalzi and tweets that Kimberly Lang is stalking him at RT. Surprisingly, John Scalzi responds that he will be at the booksigning. That’s all well and good, but the booksigning isn’t allowing outside books in. If I want DG’s book signed, I’ve got to find John Scalzi somewhere else. We scour the RT program for John Scalzi’s panel, arrive early, and sit in the second row. Scalzi shows up and is immediately pounced upon by yours truly, as I thrust DG’s book under his nose before he’s even fully settled in. (But without flashing my breasts in any way, thankyouverymuch.) Thankfully, he, too, was a good sport about it.

Lynn snapped the photo to prove it.
In thanks, I did attend the booksigning with three newly purchased books for Scalzi to sign. Of course, we’ve bonded by this time, John Scalzi and I, and one of the inscriptions reads: “To DG, Your wife is an awesome stalker.”

Why do I get the feeling that next year, Scalzi will come armed with a restraining order?

So it all worked out in the end. I got DG’s book signed. I picked up some new books for him – also signed. I made a new friend who I hope will come hang out at the Playground. No one got arrested for stalking. Added to the lack of injuries sustained by yours truly at RT and I consider this a success.

So, am I alone here? Anyone else ever stalked the wrong person – in a bar or elsewhere?



Kim Law said...

Very funny!!!

Hmmm...have I stalked the wrong person. Yeah, probably. I suck at recognizing people, so I'm pretty sure I have, but nothing pops to mind.

Sounds like you had a blast at RT!

Jean said...

When I was in college I chased Johnny Bench on foot to get his autograph for my nephew. Mr. Bench was one of the most ungracious people I have ever met but I didn't tell my nephew that. He carried that autograph in his wallet for years--until the wallet was stolen, ironically, while he was out of town playing in an All Stars baseball game.

Cheryl said...

I stalked Gene Simmons one time years ago in a hotel restaurant in Jackson Mississippi with two FBI agents (we were walking through and I recognized him without the face paint). I was not really a Kiss fan but hey, I wanted his autograph. Talk about ungracious! He yelled at us about letting him eat his breakfast in peace (which it was ten in the morning - late in the South for breakfast). Needless to say, I didn't get the autograph. I realize that celebrities are people too but geez it wouldn't have hurt for him to just sign the napkin!

Instigator said...

No jail time. No trip to the emergency room. I'm thinking you needed some more adventure at RT. :-D Surely we can find more trouble in LA...


Playground Monitor said...

Nope. I lead such a dull life.

Oh wait... we were on a glacier cruise on Prince William Sound and I recognized Betty Buckley on board (think Cats, the stepmother on Eight is Enough, the gym teacher in Carrie). I guess because her biggest fame was from Broadway and not TV (and because she had no make-up on and her hair was a bit tousled) I was the only person who recognized her. I sat back and just watched her movements (it was a boat -- where was she going?) until I worked up enough courage to ask for a photo. She was quite nice about it too. I don't have her autograph, just the photo. Guess that's my atalking adventure.

Lynn Raye Harris said...

Geez that was a good time! I'm glad Scott wasn't John Scalzi, because we had so much fun with him over the next few days.

Aside from the Scalzi incident, in which I was stalker support staff, I don't believe I've stalked anyone. :) I did see Richard Simmons in Venice. But I didn't want his autograph.

Oh, but hubby and I did hang out on the beach with our chairs right beside Brooke Burns. Neither of us knew who she was until about two months later. The only way we found out is because she was wearing that jeweled neck brace at the time, and we saw something about her and the neck brace later.

And, okay, last one. Hubby was an extra on Lost and has a photo of him and some buddies with Naveen Andrews. I have to admit being the most impressed about that one -- and I wasn't there. :(

Problem Child said...

AH, least y'all were stalking the right person. I'm just an idiot, I guess...

Insti and PM -- I distinctly remember "But our tickets for the Aquarium are in 30 minutes. I don't think you're bleeding *that* bad..."

Lynn-- Stalker support staff does time, too, ya know!

Stephanie said...

Lord have Mercy!! I look away for just one day and miss a GREAT story.

I have never stalked anyone in a bar or else where but it is very nice to know that I have such skilled friends.