Tuesday, January 26, 2010


What’s the difference between a mouse and a gerbil?

I can’t poison the effing gerbils.

Why does my child love rodents so much? Honestly? We went through the whole weasel thing a couple of years ago, but it was stuffed and I really thought we were over that. But no, I have to share my home with gerbils.

Rodents with names. Rodents that I spend good money to keep alive, fed, and housed. Rodents that look exactly like the ones I exterminated when they invaded my kitchen.


AC likes to torture me. I *know* the child has to understand that, 1) I hate the gerbils, and 2) I know she loves the gerbils. Therefore, she’ll bring a gerbil into my office with “Aww, isn’t he cute, Mom. Don’t you think he’s cute? Don’t you want to hold him? Do you love the gerbils, too?”

At this point I’m faced with a dilemma. And, yes, I know my kid is playing me these days. Do I tell the truth (“No, I hate those damn things and one day they will “escape” and tragically disappear.”)? Do I lie to my child –therefore being a bad parent and, even worse, possibly setting myself up to be expected to hold the squirming things? (Not to mention the fact the things poop all the time – and they seem to relish doing it in the hand of the person holding them. It’s disgusting.)

One high note to selling this house and moving to another? My office will be much further away from AC’s room, so I won’t have to listen to the damn things try to gnaw their way out of their cage while I’m trying to work. Do you know how hard it is to try to think sexy thoughts while you’re worried that at any moment a gerbil might run across your toes?

~shudder again~

The things we do for the ones we love. Sigh.

What have you had to put up with for the sake of your husband or child(ren)?



Virginia said...

For husband it has always been fish! We have fish in the living room and fish in the back yard pond which he tore up the whole back yard just for this stupid pond, hate it. I have to push mow around this stupid pond in the summer and keep the weeds pulled because he want. With my son it was always guinia pigs until he got alergic to them and then it was a turtle!

catslady said...

I say tell her the truth - I'm guessing she knows but doesn't understand why - who does. Tell her as long as she loves them that's enough. Saying ,I remember taking care of teeny tiny wild baby mice because they fell off a garage roof and she found them. Of course they didn't make it and of course my daughter was at school and couldn't do it herself but I pretty much love all wildlife - JUST NOT BUGS ESPECIALLY SPIDERS. My collge bound daughter is living with these humongous spiders and thinks they're great - ARGHHHH. Told her I would never visit her and mean it. They are as big as the palm of your hand!!! So gerbils don't sound too bad to me lol.

Problem Child said...

I'll take gerbils over spiders, that's for sure!

DG has fish, Virginia, but those I can handle.

Kids and rodents... I just don't see the attraction.

Problem Child said...

I'll take gerbils over spiders, that's for sure!

DG has fish, Virginia, but those I can handle.

Kids and rodents... I just don't see the attraction.

Anonymous said...

At least it is not a Madagascar hissing roach. My niece has one that she takes out and holds in her hand.

The yuk factor on that is off the scale!


Smarty Pants said...

I'd take a roden over a reptile any day. I did almost get some hissing cockroaches once. And a newt. Too much trouble in the end, though.

Anonymous said...

I put up with my husband for the kids. WHAT?! Did I say that out loud?

Christine said...

My DD won two goldfish at a carnival. We had to buy a fishbowl and stuff to entertain the carnies. They died two days later. I was so grossed out, I ran them through the garbage disposal. She still hasn't forgiven me.

Husband: I put up with a lot for 24 years but he pays the bills and is relatively neat and well-mannered so I'm continuing to let him be his little weird reading physics in the toilet self.

Problem Child said...

LOL, Anon. We won't tell...