complaint, scholarship applications, thousands of essays, thesis outlines – you name it, I’ve critted it. But I can honestly say I’ve never worked on anything as important as this. A “Dear Birthparent” letter.
One of my friends from high school has been struggling with infertility for years, and she and her husband are now starting the adoption process. They have to write a letter to the mother of a child up for adoption telling her about themselves and why they should to be the couple to adopt her baby.
And she asked me for help.
My friend and her husband are fabulous people – smart, well-educated, stable in their careers, totally in love with each other and their marriage is strong. They’re funny, loving, and caring, and they will make fabulous parents to the child who is lucky enough to get them. But they want to make sure their letter is the best it can be since it will be one of the first things the birthparent will see.
So she sent it to me to see what I thought.
I could say I’m honored, but that wouldn’t begin to describe it. This is one of the most important things they’ll ever write and they want my help. My input. My advice. I’ve been asked to read a lot of things for a lot of people, but never something that had this kind of import. (That query letter I critted last week – while important to the author – just doesn’t seem the same now.)
My fingers and toes are crossed the birthparent will see this letter and know that my friend and her husband are the right choice for her baby. And if my comments on their letter made it stronger and helped the birthparent see how fabulous this couple is… wow. It makes me glad I majored in English in the first place.
Kinda puts that “Dear Reader” letter I have to write into perspective…
PC
7 comments:
Best of luck to your friends.
Puts things in perspective, doesn't it? What a touching post.
Good luck to your friends!
LJ
Most people don't really think about the experience of putting words together on paper every day, until something as important as this comes up. There's nothing like having someone ask you to help them with something like this because they recognize your skills. I pray the right birth parent is drawn to your friends quickly and they can open their home to the little one they desire so much.
Angel
Your friends sound very special, and obviously they think of you as a very special friend. And hopefully they'll soon have a very special new member of their family. :-)
What a wonderful thing they are doing and yet so humbling. That simple letter has so much power.
What a great honor (and well placed, I may add) for you to be able to help them with this.
I hope it all works out!
I hope and pray you friends find the right birth mother. I can say this post is very timely to me. I used to be a labor/delivery coach for young women at the Florence Crittendon Agency. None of the young ladies there chose adoption as an option for their babies. But I had the unique experience of being asked to support a young lady through this process via my church 20 yrs ago and it was a private labor/delivery for her. We met through her mom /and her psychologist. I was her coach and her friend. She was 20, date raped, a strong Christian, and stronger than any other person I'd met. I was touched when she shared the letters with me from potential parents such as your friends. It is the heart of the matter, the pain of the goodbyes, the hopes of the future of this child that is, ultimately, in the hands of the greater powers. I was blessed to be in the room when her son was born, she asleep in twilight slumber, a veil of dusk surrounding us all. Her son is now a college student. She is now 40, a wonderful mentor and teacher to young students, a mother of two more incredible boys. I hope and pray your friends find a biological mother as truly selfless is her.
Blessings.
I should clarify: none of the young ladies I worked with chose adoption...
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