Thursday, June 05, 2008

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

My children have turned into little matchmakers. And I'm not sure my Baby Brother (changing names to protect the wicked) appreciates it. He's home from college for the summer and like most children, mine are easily impressed by the fact that he stays up until 4 AM and sleeps until 2PM. They love Baby Brother, partly because he is usually this phantom person who breezes in for several days on random holidays before disappearing again for months at a time. Right now though, he's not taking classes this semester so has decided to stay home - while my mother watches my 2 girls and my sister's 2 sons for the summer. Lots of Baby Brother time for my girls. And apparently, they have decided he needs a woman in his life. Of course, this decision was helped along nicely by my husband.

DH, me, the girls and my 2 brothers were loaded up into my van at 5AM one morning going to the hot air balloon festival to crew and my husband yells towards my brothers - who are hilariously squeezed in the backseat of the van along with a humongous car seat -"Hey, Baby Brother, I've found you some hotties at the feed store. They were wearing their bikini tops." My girls immediately popped up with just how hot these hotties were since they'd both been with daddy while he ogled the jail bait.

However, while bikini clad women surrounded by hay excites my husband, Baby Brother didn't exactly seem thrilled. He just smirked and gave a non-committal chuckle. He isn't the type of guy to go for girls hanging out at the feed shop...Now if they were wearing bikini tops at the local Electronics Boutique he'd have been all over that. However, since that day my children have made it their summer mission to find the 'hotties' all over town for Baby Brother. They delight in telling him each and every day about the eligible young women they've seen at Wal-Mart or the drug store or the park.

To Baby Brother's credit he's handling the situation with his usual calm and silent demeanor. He doesn't say much just grunts at them and smirks. I'm not worried about him. I'm worried about my 6 and 3 year olds who seem to be obsessed with this new summer mission. I can only imagine what hell my life will be when this single-minded determination turns to finding matches for themselves. The men better watch out. Sweet Pea will just wear whoever she wants down until he eventually gives in. And Baby Girl...she'll either take a hit out on any man who dares to turn her down or simply back him into a corner, smile impishly into his eyes and wait for him to melt at her feet.

My only consolation is that it's going to serve their daddy right for ever mentioning the word 'hottie' in front of them.


P.S. Diane Graham is the winner from yesterday. Please email the Playground Monitor with your snail mail info and she'll get your books and chocolate out to you ASAP.

Also, Eva S is Nicola's winner from Tuesday. She needs to email the Problem Child with her snail mail info to claim her prize.


MaryF said...

My kids may not be matchmaking, but they have picked up a few interesting words, much like "hottie"....

My husband used the phrase
"Yummy mommy"; thinking it was clever enough to cover the ogling.

Vindication came when my husband was with my 3yr old (who is now 10) and she saw the cover of a Cosmo and shrieked happily at the top of her lungs, "Look a yummy mommy!" and every woman in the check-out line and surrounding lines turned to glare at him. Ha!

He's been somewhat circumspect since then...except there was that time my daughter was looking for a wrestling Diva on a playboy magazine on a Sunday; but that's a whole other story......

Playground Monitor said...

Too funny! Of course it won't be funny when they call someone a hottie in church. That'll teach daddy.

LOL Mary!

When #1 son was nine, we took a big trip out west with my in-laws. We were in the Grand Tetons and the park ranger explained that the word Tetons comes from the French for breasts. #1 son pondered on that for a moment and then said "Oh, I get it. Maracas!" Boys!


Jen said...

That is hilarious! And yeah, teaching those girls the "hottie" terminalogy is going to bite your DH in the derrierre. LOL>

Sherry W. said...

How funny! Just remind DH that one day Sweet Pea and Baby Girl will one day become 'hotties' themselves and have men ogling them at the feed store. That ought to fix it.

PM - Missed yesterday's blog--your granddaughter is a little doll! Future hottie there too!

Smarty Pants said...

This will turn on him the day Sweet Pea hits her teens and he overhears someone else calling her a hottie while they're out shopping or something. Oh yes, he will regret it then.

Anonymous said...

Funny!!! I just worry about my 17 year old son, so young!

Kathy said...

Funny! I always get a kick out of what little ones say. It's amazing what they pick up from us, isn't it? And a good reason to always be at your best.

I can tell you, as a mother of two daughters, one out of her teens now, the other 16, I don't appreciate it when we walk somewhere and men are staring at them. I'm talking about oversexed grown men! I just want to yell, "pervert!"

Lynn Raye Harris said...

One must be careful what one says, eh? I remember visiting with PC at her house, and we were talking about our writing, and one of us referred to a lizard. Next thing you know, AC was piping up with the word. Out of everything we discussed, that's the one she picked up on.

Now, to see how kids pick up on stuff, watch this video on You Tube. So cute and funny!

Rhonda Nelson said...

Instigator, when my little sister was 3, my aunt taught her to say this to every man she saw--

"Where've you been all my life, you sexy thang?"

We still tease her about it. :-)

birdzilla said...

Boy, ya'll went crazy with this issue.
To set the story straight, I started off by giving Baby Brother a hard time. He generally gets embarassed at this sort of topic. Also, I knew the girls would never leave it alone either :).
For the future on my the country song goes..."I will be on the proch still cleaning this gun".

catslady said...

Lol I'm totally amazed that kids that young would have an interest in matchmaking. This way they have him all to themselves lol.