Craziness Has Ensued!

While I know that everyone else is going about their daily lives in a normal manner, I must confess that mine is focused around one simple activity right now: obsessing over my upcoming trip to RWA National Conference in Orlando. But it isn’t just the conference itself that has me in a tizzy. I have much more to worry about than that!

1. My plane leaves on Wednesday!
This might not seem like a big deal to anyone else (after all, I still have 2 days before I have to actually enter an airport), but since I’m afraid of flying, I start to worry about it way ahead of time. More experience flying has taught me some ways of calming these fears, but it still niggles in the back of my mind. And since I usually only fly once a year, I have to remind myself of these strategies with more frequency than if I flew all the time and they became second nature to me.

2. I have to pack!
Yep, I sure do and though I prefer not to be up packing at midnight the night before I leave, chances are, that’s where you’ll find me. But I try to plan ahead. I’ve been working on my packing list a little at a time for over a week (thanks, SP!), I’ve tried on clothes when I had time, and done copious amounts of laundry. Speaking of which…

3. Laundry needs to be done!
Don’t you hate it when you get all the colored clothes washed, then find that one light blue shirt that you need… still dirty?!?! Now what will I wash it with? Do I have time for another load? Is it worth the hassle? Sigh. If bosses in Corporate America only acknowledged the organizational skills it takes to wash and pack clothing for a trip, it would be on my resume in bold letters.

But it isn’t just my laundry that needs to be done. I try to get everyone else’s washed along with mine, because I don’t like to leave my family behind with more tasks than absolutely necessary. Which leads me to…

4. Do we have enough frozen dinners?
If you’ve been reading long enough, you’ll recognize the control freak in me rearing its ugly head. Couple that with my particular psychosis and the results sound like this, “I feel guilty about being gone for a week and leaving other people to deal with my (jobs, chores, tasks, etc), so I need to do as much as possible before I leave to make it as easy as possible for that person while I’m gone…” Not pretty, I know, but if stocking the freezer with frozen foods, leaving behind lists, and washing everyone’s laundry before I go makes me feel better about stepping onto that plane, then that’s what I’ll do. (Don’t hate me because I’m obsessive.) ;) Unfortunately, it also makes my To Do list double, so yes, I stress over time too.

5. Will everything fit in my suitcase?
Back to packing for a moment… do you know how hard it is to get all your conference stuff into a suitcase at less than 50 pounds? I’d really like to head down there with only one suitcase and a carry on, though I know I’ll come back with an extra duffle bag. But at $30 a pop, I’m hoping to take it down for less. But when you end up packing at midnight…

Okay, I think that’s enough obsessiveness for today. So tell us, what are you obsessing about these days? What thing do you always tell yourself you won’t do before a trip (like pack at midnight) that you always end up doing?

Angel

Conference Prep for Introverts

For those of you who haven’t guessed by now, I’m a confessed introvert, which means that crowds of people (especially strangers and unusual situations) drain the energy from me quicker than anything. Until the past 5 years, I would have described myself as a painfully shy person who had a great deal of difficulty talking to strangers and had uncomfortable physical reactions to speaking in front of others (shaking, flushing, nausea and nerves). RWA was the first organization I joined by myself, because I’m a twin, I often had my sister or husband with me in any new situation. Since I joined RWA solo, I had to put myself out there without the safety net of a “buddy”. :)

But I learned that practice makes putting myself out there a little bit easier. My local chapter has been a wonderful arena to gain experience as a speaker, in meeting new people and expanding my group of friends and acquaintances. There’s only one thing remaining that scares the bejeezus out of this introvert: National Conference! Two thousand editors, agents, authors, and RWA staff in one hotel with workshops, publishing house spotlights, pitch appointments, and—most stressful of all—social events like lunches and parties. It is one of the biggest learning and entertaining experiences a romance author can have. But the anticipation of all those opportunities to speak, be seen, have conversations, ask questions, meet people, and-did I mention-speak? The nervous anticipation can start getting to you before you even make it to Nationals.

I’m happy to say that, like my involvement in my local chapter of RWA, attending Nationals for several years has given me a chance to work out some of the nerves. I’ve learned a few tricks to help this introvert stay more calm and not so drained. I hope they can help you too!

Be Prepared!

This has been the biggest sanity saver for me. Before my first National Conference, my local chapter was generous with the information of what to expect and I took their advice to heart. Before I stepped out my door, I had thought through answers to some key questions that you hear all the time at Nationals. They show up during a lot of conversations and now I can answer them without having to obsess (before or after).

The questions that I’ve concocted short and sweet answers to are:

• What do you write? “Currently I’m working on a spicy romantic suspense with southern gothic influences. I’ve also written category length romance and short stories.”
• How did you start writing? “I’ve always made up stories in my head, but after my daughter was born a friend encouraged me to put them on paper. Once I started my first book, I was totally hooked!”
• Are you published? “I’ve published a bunch of short stories and articles, but I’m still working toward my goal of publishing a book.”
• Who are your favorite authors? Here I try to narrow it down to authors who have something in common with what I write, to give the listener an idea about my tastes. For instance, if you write paranormal vampires (and read them), you might mention Sherrilyn Kenyon (Dark Hunters) or Kerrelyn Sparks (humorous). If you write erotic, you might mention Beth Kery (light on the suspense angles) or Lora Leigh (heavier romantic suspense). Get the drift? Choose your favorite authors that reflect your writing interests, if possible.
• Have you seen (fill in the blank with local attraction)? Hopefully you can remember your traveling itinerary without preparing ahead of time, but keep this answer short. Mention your favorite thing so far, or if you are sightseeing after conference, the thing you are most looking forward to. Then let the other person interject their own thoughts on the subject.

***Because these are common questions at conference, you don’t have to wait to be asked them. Use them yourself to start up conversations when you find yourself meeting new people!

Schedule Rest and Time Alone!

Definition of an introvert: when being with other people drains you of energy, instead of energizing you. This means that spending all day mingling with others, talking after workshops, making small talk over lunch, or being brilliant in the elevator will make you very tired, very quickly. For me, the fatigue is more mental than physical, but it still forces me to collapse for several days after I get home. But I’ve come to recognize the fog that can suddenly make it hard to think and the overwhelming urge to just be alone, even if it is simply to lock myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes.

Some introverts can last longer than others. For instance, you may be able to interact with people all day, but need definite down time scheduled for each night. Others might need some alone time around mid-afternoon siesta, then be able to tackle the rest of the day. Whatever it is you need, acknowledge and plan for it! My plan usually includes taking my time in the shower each morning, even if it means getting up 5 minutes early. In a room with 4 people (even if they are my best friends), there is no solitude, except in the shower. ;) So I indulge a few extra minutes in the morning to start my day off with a good mental attitude. Also, I’ll occasionally come back to the room some time after lunch. Usually anyone in the room at that time is asleep anyway, so I can simply lay on the top of the covers with my eyes closed for 10 minutes for a touch of rejuvenation.

Other strategies might include planning a dinner that you can take back to your room one night for some peace away from the crowds, going out for a little solitary sight-seeing or browsing the bookstore by yourself. If you do little things like this for yourself throughout the day, your psyche won’t feel like it has to crash and burn by Saturday night. We want to see you all dressed up and happy at the Awards Ceremony, not stressed and frowning!

As for sleep, well, you can be guaranteed not to get the amount you usually do at home. Even if we make it to bed at a decent hour, my roommates and I often discuss the day’s events for a while before drifting off. At home, I’m an 8 hour a night girl. At conference… let’s just say I sleep a lot when I get home! That being said, it is a good thing to know your limits. If you absolutely cannot function without at least 5 hours (usually the minimum I need to be coherent), then getting only 3 the night before your editor’s appointment is a sincerely bad move. So be aware of your limits and work within them.

Remember: Editors are People Too!

A worrisome thought that gets planted into an introvert’s head can be: “What if I do something stupid in front of (insert here: editor, agent, publisher, best selling author, etc.)?” One of the big warnings that floats around the blogosphere and RWA chapters is to remember that people are watching and listening. And yes, there are plenty of publishing professionals at these events that I wouldn’t want to insult in some way with my behavior. Unfortunately, that puts a great deal of pressure on an introvert to be “on” all the time, draining their energy that much faster.

Here are a few things to help ease your stress in this instance: 1. Remember, these warnings are there to prevent UNPROFESSIONAL behavior, like complaining about an editor in the bathroom where anyone can here. There’s a big difference between that and tripping over your feet in the lobby of the hotel (been there, done that). The latter doesn’t mean someone will bar you from publishing for life. A simple use of common courtesy is all that is expected.

2. Remember, editors (and agents, publishers, etc.) are people too. They don’t need you to be cold and stiff with them. They simply want you to talk to them as if they were people (not your only hope of ever getting a book contract—there’s nothing like desperation to run off an editor!). Speak to them as you would any other acquaintance you meet. Often, publishing professionals won’t wear their nametags if they aren’t at an actual event, so saying hi or asking the stranger sitting next to you in the bar about their favorite area attractions is always a polite move. Ask them if they are there for the RWA conference and if so, what they write. If they don’t write, they’ll say so. Let them volunteer the information they want and don’t push to “pitch” unless they specifically say, “Tell me about your book.”

When the Nerves Start to Flutter…

But sometimes, despite everything you’ve tried, the nerves will strike out of nowhere! This always happens to me before my editor and agent appointments. Just thinking about those 10 minutes makes my stomach contract and flutter like butterflies have taken up residence. What’s an introvert to do then?

Well, the first thing I do is breathe. And I don’t mean this flippantly. Have you ever noticed that it is hard for your stomach to tighten if you are taking a truly deep breath? It may take several, but breathing is my first line of defense in these situations (and has the added benefit of helping you think more clearly).

Speaking of thoughts, that’s the next line of fire. If you are having specific worries, address each one. “What if I say something stupid? Well, if I stumble over my pitch, I can just stop, take a breath, give a little smile, and say something like, ‘Sorry, I’m a little nervous’.” “What if she hates it? Well, the worst she can do is say no, and then I’ve learned she isn’t the editor/agent for me.” See what I’m doing here. Don’t let your worries and fears spin out of control. Combat them with the truth of the matter. Then calm yourself down with a simple “This will be over in 10 minutes. I can survive anything for that long, right? :)”

So there you have it. These strategies have made National Conference (or any big event with lots of strangers) much more manageable despite my introvert personality, although I do spend some time after events wondering, “How I could possibly have said that!?!?” But I get over it and try to move on quickly… oh, another strategy slipping in there!

So tell us, what are your strategies for big crowds and situations where you might be uncomfortable? If you are lucky enough to be an extrovert, we’d love any advice you could offer too!


Angel

**For more professionally based information, check out the Clinic on the Playground and Counselor Shelley's advice for Introverts.

The Return of the Comprehensive, Must-Have, Magical, Mystical, Packing List

It's July again and RWA Nationals is right around the corner. Its time to start thinking about really important stuff like "What am I going to wear?" and "How many shoes can I cram into this bag without going over the weight limit?" In honor of this important event I'm bringing back the Comprehensive, Must-Have, Magical, Mystical, Packing List. Its a great place to start building your own list.

Mine is broken into sections, starting with what I'm wearing on the plane. These are usually items that are too bulky to pack and comfortable for travel. Jeans, a sweater and sneakers are must haves in my book and I've racked up my share of airline miles in them. Planes get cold and I've been so happy to have my sweater instead of wearing shorts and flip flops like all the other tourists. Plus, when they change your gate for the 10th time or your plane is late and you have 5 minutes to make your connection, sneakers are a godsend.

Wear on Plane :

• Shirt
• Jeans
• Sweater
• Sneakers
• Socks

Then I have the list of what goes in my backpack. I like backpacks because my hands are free, but this could be your carry on, your toiletry bag...whatever. Just make sure these items are in a bag you physically have custody of at all times. Must have stuff. You don't want it to end up in New Jersey while you're waiting at the luggage carousel in DC.

Backpack :

• Plane Itinerary / Ticket
• Camera & Battery Charger
• Cell Phone & Charger
• 1 extra pair of panties & socks (just in case)
• Book to read on the plane
• ID and/or Passport (I keep this and some cash in an easily accessible pocket - one that zips for security - for the 20 times I have to get it out to travel. This is mainly because of the next item.)
• Purse (I transition to a smaller purse and stuff it inside my backpack so I have less to carry. This makes it harder to get to, so I take a few essentials out for the day. Even though you won't need your keys, be sure to carry them with you as well so you have them when you get home.)
• Snacks & An Empty Water Bottle (They don't feed you on planes anymore, so this is a MUST. Its also good to have once you get to Nationals so you have something to eat aside from the overpriced hotel food. As for the water bottle, you can refill it as you travel, but it must be empty to get through airport security.)
• Prescription Medication (Never, ever check your pills with your luggage.)
• Travel Alarm Clock (If you can't set your cell phone, and you can, I'm pretty sure)
• Mini flashlight
• Business Cards
• Presentation Materials (I'm doing a workshop this year, so anything I need is staying on my person.)

Next is what goes in my toiletry bag. Mine is actually a small bag that fits inside my luggage, which is good considering all the charges for extra pieces these days. If you're carrying this on, remember all liquids, gels and aerosols must be smaller than 3 ounces and must all fit within a clear, one quart ziplock bag. You have to pull this out and run it through the security x-ray separately. If you do check the bag, I still recommend putting liquids inside a ziploc bag in case a bottle comes open and leaks all over your clothes.

Toiletry Bag :

• Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Floss & Mouthwash
• Deodorant
• Hairbrush
• Clips/Bands/Barettes
• Shampoo & Conditioner (if you can use the hotel provided ones, ok, but my hair is too picky)
• Lotion and Soap (I will use the hotel provided stuff, but if you can't, pack your own)
• Hair Products - Gel, Hairspray, Mousse, Detangler
• Hair Electronics - blow dryers, curling iron, flat iron, etc.
• Makeup, brushes, cotton applicators, good mirror, tweezers
• Moisturizer w/ SPF (you might also take outright sunblock if you'll be outside a lot)
• Razor & Shaving gel
• Feminine Hygiene (I always take an emergency stash just in case.)
• OTC Meds - Pain Reliever, Antacids, Stomach Pills
• Clear and colored nail polish & file for manicure fixes and hosiery runs
• First Aid Kit & Extra bandaids (if you have to ask, you haven't read this blog for very long)
• Mini Sewing Kit
• Mini bottle of Downy Wrinkle Release Spray & Febreze (another must on the Playground!)
• Bandaid Friction Block (a nifty new item I found out about from Lynn Raye Harris. You apply it to your feet to keep your shoes from rubbing blisters.)

Luggage :

• Another copy of your flight itinerary in case your bag loses its ID tag
• Panties x # of days, plus one
• Sport or Trouser Socks x # of days needed
• 1 pair pantyhose (I hate them, but its good to carry one pair JIC. I have a pair of shoes that just rubs something fierce without them, but are super comfortable otherwise)
• Regular bras & dress bras (as needed for formals, etc)
• Spanx (the ever-so important foundation garment) & slips as needed
• Casual tops x # of siteseeing/travel days
• 1 pair jeans (if you aren't doing a lot of tourist stuff, this might not be necessary, especially as I'm wearing a pair on the plane)
• Seasonal Jacket, etc, as needed (depends on where you're going, as SFO was cold, Orlando is NOT)
• Pajamas (I don't know how many times I stress over every outfit, then forget PJs)
• Daytime Outfit Components (see breakdown below)
• Party Outfits as needed for Ritas, etc.
• Swimsuit, if you think you might manage to make it to the spa at some point
• Badge Lanyard with conference and chapter pins (RWA did a nice one in Reno for their Anniversary that had a pocket and a pen holder that I like to bring and use instead of the normal ones they usually have.)
• Shoes - At a minimum, 2 pairs of comfortable casual shoes or sandals, 1 or 2 dress pairs for formals, maybe some slippers or flip flops if you're inclined to swim or visit the spa. If you coordinate your outfit to a color scheme, you can cut down to less. I do not recommend wearing the same shoes every day, even if it matches. I find even the most comfortable pair will start to rub and make your feet sore if you wear them over and over. You will do a lot of walking.
• Jewelry - Make sure you know what you're wearing with each piece and put them all together in a bag with tissue if you don't have a jewelry travel case.

Finally, to determine my outfits, I use a daily breakdown. I try to bring some neutral pieces like black capris or a skirt that I can use a couple times. Microfiber is awesome - it doesn't wrinkle and it takes up almost no space in your bag. I also advocate the inclusion of one extra outfit that lies somewhere between your workshop attire and your formal in case you get an impromptu invite to a dinner or a party someplace nice. Here's my breakdown based on my typical activities...

• Wednesday - black microfiber skirt, pink top, black sandals, pink jewelry
• Thursday - black capris, blue microfiber top, black sandals, blue jewelry
• Thursday Night - eHQN PJ party attire, flip flops/slippers
• Friday - black microfiber skirt, purple microfiber top, black sweater, black heels, purple jewelry
• Friday Night - black sequined top, dress pants, sequined skull heels, black/pink jewelry
• Saturday - black capris, pink satin top, pink heels, pink jewelry
• Saturday Night - purple formal, purple dress heels, purple jewelry
• Sunday - t-shirt, jeans, etc. for flight home (add days as needed if you're coming early or staying late to sitesee)
• Pitch Outfit - if you are pitching, bring the outfit that makes you feel your best if its not already one of the ensembles you're wearing
• Extra Outfit - a fabu just in case outfit that you can wear with the shoes and jewelry you're already planning to bring

Hope The Comprehensive, Must-Have, Magical, Mystical, Packing List helps make planning for the big trip a little easier for you. Have I missed anything? What's on your must pack list?

SP

A Fever of Preparations

In case you haven’t noticed, the Playground is in a fever of preparation for RWA National Conference in a couple of weeks. Two exactly. Most of us leave on a Monday.

Anyway, today I thought I’d offer a few tips on preparing for writer’s conferences, whether Nationals or a regional conference. These experiences can be some of the most exciting and nerve-wracking activities in a writer’s journey. I hope these tips might smooth your way just a bit:

1. Plan your wardrobe around one color.

As we mentioned last week when we talked about shopping, planning around either black or brown for your wardrobe can cut down on the number of clothing items you have to take. For instance, I’m taking a black skirt with 2 different shirts for my cocktail events this year. One black pair of shoes that will go with those outfits, my black dress pants, and one of my formal dresses. That’s really helpful because shoes take up lots of space and add up weight quickly.

2. Get travel size bottles whenever possible.

I’ve been grabbing travel size soap, shampoo, and toothpaste at the store over the past few weeks. Taking these instead of full size bottles can really cut down on the weight of your suitcase. Need specific products that don’t come in travel size? Purchase some refillable bottles.

3. Wear new shoes before you go, even if it is just around the house.

There is nothing worse that breaking in new shoes at conference. That is just a blister waiting to happen. If you’ve purchased new shoes (which I have), be sure to break them in before you go. I have some just-purchased flats that I’ve been wearing out and about, but my new black heels aren’t exactly made for running errands. My family laughed when they walked into the kitchen to find me wearing them with a pair of gray shorts and a t-shirt, but at least I won’t have to deal with as much foot pain in DC.

4. Prepare your story pitches before you leave.

In the rush to get everything ready, working on your editor and agent pitches can get shuffled to the background. But trust me, you don’t want to be up until 1 a.m. the night before, stressing over just the right word to describe your hero. (Been there, done that.) Instead, you should be getting a couple of extra hours of sleep. Do yourself a favor and put together your full-length and elevator pitches before you go. It will save you a lot of stress later.

5. Write out your schedule, but leave room for the unexpected.

It is said that a lot happens in the bar at National conference, and that’s certainly true. Even if you don’t meet your dream editor there, lots of hilarity can ensue with the right group of friends. I have a lot of events that I have to attend this year, so this list-maker definitely has her schedule already worked up. I’ve also listed a couple of workshops that I’d REALLY like to attend in person. Other than that, I’ve tried to leave some space free. You never know what you might get swept up into during that down time.

6. Take whatever steps necessary to leave home without worrying what you’ve left behind.

I’m not talking about stuff here. You can always purchase something you forgot to take with you. I’m talking about peace of mind. My husband makes fun of me for the extensive lists I write out for those keeping my kids and the freezer full of convenience foods they’ll probably leave in favor of fast food, but that’s okay. If putting myself to all that trouble means I can fly to Washington with a little less worry over leaving my loved ones, then I think it is worth it. So do whatever you need to, in order to feel more comfortable about what is happening in your absence. You’ll be happy you did.

7. If you haven't already, go read the fine print on your travel requirements... now.

While this may seem self-explanatory to well-seasoned travelers, I rarely fly anywhere except to conference. Imagine my surprise when I looked up the luggage weight limits and found a little tidbit about checking my luggage in before I get to the airport. If I don't, they are going to charge me an additional $5 for doing it when I get there. Go read all your flight information now, so you aren't surprised and scrambling at the last minute. You'll be glad you did.

These are some of the travel tips working through my brain at the moment. With conference 2 weeks away, this stuff is at the forefront of my mind. But thanks to Kathy, I’ve got 2 full pitches and an elevator pitch ready to rehearse. My wardrobe is planned and the suitcase is sitting in the living room for me to drop stuff into it as needed.

For those of you heading out to conference, or used to traveling, what other tips can you offer those of us about to wing our way to our nation’s capital?


Angel

The Comprehensive Must-Have Magical Mystical Packing List

I had a panic attack earlier this week. I'd lost my packing list. This was a problem. This wasn't just some piece of scratch paper with a couple things doodled on it. This was The Comprehensive, Must-Have, Magical, Mystical, Packing List. Its a computer file I use for all my trips. It even has a special version just for Nationals. And it was gone. Poof. Not on my hard drive at work. Not on my hard drive at home. Not on my flash drive. Perhaps I'd gotten over-zealous cleaning stuff off my flash drive and dumped it on accident. What tragedy! Alas, I borrowed PC's list and used it to rebuild my own. I thought I would share it with all of you because it is so handy. Use this to develop your own Comprehensive Must-Have Magical Mystical Packing List and save it someplace special. (Personally, I know that by posting it in the blog, I will never lose it - it will always live in the archives!)

My list is broken into sections, starting with what I'm wearing on the plane. These are usually items that are too bulky to pack and comfortable for travel. Jeans, a sweater and sneakers are must haves in my book and I've racked up my share of airline miles in them. Planes get cold and I've been so happy to have my sweater instead of wearing shorts and flip flops like all the other tourists.

Wear on Plane

• Shirt
• Jeans
• Sweater
• Sneakers
• Socks

Then I have the list of what goes in my backpack. I like backpacks because my hands are free, but this could be your carry on, your toiletry bag...whatever. Just make sure these items are in a bag you physically have custody of at all times. You'll notice mine includes several things for the workshop we're doing on Friday. Must have that stuff. You don't want it to end up in Seattle while you're waiting in California.

Backpack

• Plane Itinerary
• Camera & Battery Charger
• Cell Phone & Charger
• Workshop Stuff - Laptop & Accessories, Flash Drive w/any necessary files, Handouts & Notecards
• 1 extra pair of panties & socks (just in case)
• Book to read on the plane
• ID and/or Passport (I keep this and some cash in an easily accessible pocket - one that zips for security - for the 20 times I have to get it out to travel. This is mainly because of the next item.)
• Purse (I transition to a smaller purse and stuff it inside my backpack so I have less to carry. This makes it harder to get to, so I take a few essentials out for the day. Even though you won't need your keys, be sure to carry them with you as well so you have them when you get home.)
• Snacks (They don't feed you on planes anymore, so this is a MUST. Its also good to have once you get to Nationals so you have something to eat aside from the overpriced hotel food.)
• Prescription Medication (Never, ever check your pills with your luggage.)
• Travel Alarm Clock (If you can't set your cell phone, and you can, I'm pretty sure)
• Mini flashlight
• Business Cards

Next is what goes in my toiletry bag. Mine is actually a small bag that fits inside my luggage, which is good considering all the charges for extra pieces these days. If you're carrying this on, remember all liquids, gels and aerosols must be smaller than 3 ounces and must all fit within a one quart ziplock bag. You have to pull this out and run it through the security x-ray separately. If you do check the bag, I still recommend putting liquids inside a ziploc bag in case a bottle comes open and leaks all over your clothes.

Toiletry Bag

• Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Floss & Mouthwash
• Deodorant
• Hairbrush
• Clips/Bands/Barettes
• Shampoo & Conditioner (if you can use the hotel provided ones, ok, but my hair is too picky)
• Lotion and Soap (I will use the hotel provided stuff, but if you can't, pack your own)
• Hair Products - Gel, Hairspray, Mousse, Detangler
• Hair Electronics - blow dryers, curling iron, flat iron, etc.
• Makeup, brushes, cotton applicators
• Moisturizer w/ SPF (you might also take outright sunblock if you'll be outside a lot)
• Razor & Shaving gel
• Feminine Hygiene (I always take an emergency stash just in case.)
• OTC Meds - Pain Reliever, Antacids, Stomach Pills
• Clear and colored nail polish & file for manicure fixes and hosiery runs
• First Aid Kit & Extra bandaids (if you have to ask, you haven't read this blog for very long)
• Mini Sewing Kit
• Mini bottle of Downy Wrinkle Release Spray (another must on the Playground!)

Luggage

• Another copy of your flight itinerary in case your bag loses its ID tag
• Panties x # of days, plus one
• Sport or Trouser Socks x # of days needed
• 2 pair pantyhose (I hate them, but its good to carry one pair JIC and an extra if it runs)
• 1 regular bra & 1 strapless bra (as needed for formals, etc)
• Spanx (the ever-so important foundation garment) & slips as needed
• Casual tops x # of siteseeing/travel days
• 1 pair jeans (if you aren't doing a lot of tourist stuff, this might not be necessary)
• Waterproof Windbreaker (SFO is cool, wet and windy)
• Pull over sweater (layers are good)
• Gloves and a hat if its really cold by the water
• Pajamas (I don't know how many times I stress over every outfit, then forget PJs)
• Daytime Outfit Components (see breakdown below)
• Party Outfits as needed for Ritas, etc.
• Badge Lanyard with conference and chapter pins (RWA did a nice one in Reno for their Anniversary that had a pocket and a pen holder that I like to bring and use instead of the normal ones they usually have.)
• Shoes - At a minimum, 2 pairs of comfortable casual shoes or sandals, 1 or 2 dress pairs for formals, maybe some slippers or flip flops if you're inclined to swim or visit the spa. If you coordinate your outfit to a color scheme, you can cut down to less. You could wear the same shoes every day if it matches, but I find even the most comfortable pair will start to rub and make your feet sore if you wear them over and over.
• Jewelry - Make sure you know what you're wearing with each piece and put them all together in a bag with tissue if you don't have a jewelry travel case.

Finally, to determine my outfits, I use a daily breakdown. I try to bring some neutral pieces like black capris or a skirt that I can use a couple times. As PC has mentioned, microfiber is awesome - it doesn't wrinkle and it takes up almost no space in your bag. I also advocate the inclusion of one extra outfit that lies somewhere between your workshop attire and your formal in case you get an impromptu invite to a dinner or a party someplace nice. Here's my breakdown based on my typical activities...

• Wednesday - black microfiber skirt, red top, black heels, red jewelry
• Thursday - black capris, blue microfiber top, black sandals, blue jewelry
• Thursday Night - eHQN PJ party attire, flip flops/slippers
• Friday - black microfiber skirt, purple microfiber top, black sweater, black heels, purple jewelry
• Friday Night - formal, PM dress heels, silver/black jewelry
• Saturday - black capris, pink satin top, pink heels, pink jewelry
• Saturday Night - formal, SW dress heels, silver/black jewelry
• Sunday - t-shirt, jeans, etc. for flight home
  (add days as needed if you're coming early or staying late to sitesee)
• Pitch Outfit - if you are pitching, bring the outfit that makes you feel your best if its not already one of the ensembles you're wearing
• Extra Outfit - a fabu just in case outfit that you can wear with the shoes and jewelry you're already planning to bring

Hope The Comprehensive, Must-Have, Magical, Mystical, Packing List helps make planning for the big trip a little easier for you. Have I missed anything? What's on your must pack list?

Oh, and don't forget the deadline for blog proposals is coming up. Email Angel with what you'd like to blog about and you could replace one of us while we're at conference!

SP

Losing Your Virginity

Conference virginity that is. All of us were first-time attendees of RWA’s national conference at one point. My first time was in Dallas in 2004. I’d only been a member of my local chapter for about two months and didn’t really know any of the members well. I did, however, have bunches of online friendships I’d made through my book reviewing.

So I booked my flight to Dallas, arranged to room with an online friend who had an opening in her room, read everything I could about the conference and away I went. In addition to the workshops, I volunteered to help the Silhouette Desire authors at the Literacy Signing.

Looking back, it was a great experience, and it’s one I’ve repeated every year since. But there are some things I wish I’d known to help make that first conference go just a little smoother.

So I reached out to some of my writer friends and asked them for pieces of advice they’d offer to newbies. As usual, they were more than generous with their time and advice.

Sheri Whitefeather (who also writes as Cherie Feather) and Eve Silver (who also writes as Eve Kenin) both suggested volunteering. Eve says it “gives you the opportunity to meet and connect with other volunteers, and it also segues into conversation with those attending the event you are volunteering for.”

Linda Winstead Jones and Linda Howard both advised to wear comfortable shoes. You'll walk miles at conference. "And take a jacket!” Linda Howard added. A friend who lives in that area told that SF temperatures are very erratic.

Nalini Singh suggested, “Make a schedule! It’ll help you from being overwhelmed and make sure you get the most of your conference experience.” Mine is in the form of a Word table with the days across the top and time slots down the left side. It's an easy way to know where I need to be and when.

However, while you’re making that schedule, keep in mind this bit of advice from Leslie Kelly. “I would suggest NOT trying to choose a workshop for every single slot of every day of the conference. Be judicious, pick the ones you really want to go to and give yourself a break if there’s a block of time with nothing that really interests you.”

Kristi Gold suggests you get to the popular workshops early so you can get a seat. She said she’s been shut out of workshops before because she arrived late and the room was packed. She also said to “make a point to visit the publisher spotlights for the house you're targeting. Usually individual editors list their personal preferences."

"If you're planning to meet up with people, especially people you haven't met in person before," says Abby Gaines, "call the hotel reception and ask them for a 'landmark' in the lobby where you can tell people to meet you. It's much clearer to say, 'Meet you next to the statue of Paul Revere' than to say 'Meet you in the lobby.'"

Tanya Michaels says, “Close your eyes and think of England!” Hey that works for me. She also suggests snagging a bit of downtime to rest. Many of the workshops are taped and you can buy the CD’s to listen to later. The definition of downtime varies from person to person, so it may range from having drinks at the bar to taking a nap with a cool cloth across your forehead.

Tanya also said if you have an editor appointment to “jot down ahead of time the names of a few of your favorite authors at that house.” This way if you freeze up from nerves like she did, you can refer to your notes. “Thankfully,” Tanya said, “she bought my book anyway!”

One of my favorite bits of advice came from Debra Dixon. “Repeat after me: ‘Hi, this is my first conference. Is it yours?’ Too often people sit like stones staring at their plates or lap instead of turning to the person next to them and saying a simple hello. Making connections is one of the most important benefits of attending a conference. You never know where a simple hello will lead unless you actually say hello! Be bold. The bold shall inherit the contacts.”

In that same vein, Roxanne St. Claire said, "You can have a conversation with anyone, anywhere, any time at conference. All you need is one question: "What do you write?" Every single person there will have an answer, and it will spark dialogue. Even if that answer is, 'I don't. I'm an agent.' Hey, that's not bad, is it?"

Jennifer LaBrecque reminds you, though, to "be careful what you say anywhere other than the privacy of your hotel room. You never know who you're standing next to or whose friend you're standing next to." She also cautions this is not the place to drink too much. "Loose lips sink ships," one of my old bosses used to say.

Many writers are introverts who spend the majority of their time holed up with a computer and the voices in their heads. Talking to other people is outside their comfort zone. But with the two questions above, you can break the ice and maybe even make someone's day and make a new friend -- or two or three or a dozen.

At my first conference, I went to lunch the first day and apparently looked like a little lost lamb. A friendly woman came up to me and asked if I'd like to sit at her table. We chatted during lunch and she made me feel like the most special person in the world. Her name is Susan Crosby and she has written for Desire, Next and now Special Edition. Our conference lunch has become an annual event (we just firmed up our plans for this year yesterday) I look forward to. If she hadn't made that move, we'd never have met and eating lunch alone might have set a bad conference tone for me. So look for little lost lambs and invite them to join you.

Roxanne also suggested taking along at least one outfit you feel absolutely great wearing and saving it for the most stressful day (an editor/agent appointment or the workshop you're giving). Just be sure to try on all your clothes and shoes before you leave home to make sure they fit and don't have any loose buttons or ripped hems.

Another of Roxanne's ideas (she was simply a font of advice -- this is her ninth national conference in a row) was to go with a goal in mind -- something tangible and measurable like "I'm going to learn somehting about five different publishers I didn't know when I left." The Playfriends will remember the goal I gave each of them last year. I heard moans and grumbling, but by golly, each of them made their goal and I was proud as punch of them. Angel is our shyest and she was grinning from ear to ear when she showed me her results.

Along with all the great advice above (and thank you so much to all the authors who shared their conference wisdom), I’d like to suggest the following:

Be sure to pack a bottle of your favorite over-the-counter pain reliever. Carry it with you at all times. Even if you never need it, you can offer some to another conference attendee and make a friend for life.

Drink plenty of water. Hotel air conditioning can dehydrate you quickly, and that can lead to the mother of all headaches. Most hotels offer glasses of water in each meeting room. Or do as I do and buy a bottle of water in the airport once you’ve passed through security and then just refill it throughout the week.

Remember your camera so you can have memories of your conference once you get back home. The photo of you with your all-time favorite romance writer will be priceless to you.

Also remember the charger for your camera as well as for your cellphone.

You’ll get lots of free books and goodies at the conference and may make purchases at the Midnight Madness Bazaar, the book fair and local souvenir shops. Getting these back home can be a challenge, especially with the new luggage fees. Go to the Federal Express website and set up a FedEx account. It’s free. And it will allow you to ship stuff back home from the business center of the hotel at a pretty reasonable cost. I shipped back several hundred dollars worth of books plus goodies last year for around $35.

Or you can take the advice of Barbara Vey from Publisher's Weekly. She says to tell folks to "pack their suitcases and then take out 5 things, because you never need all that you take and you need room in your suitcase for all the books and goodies you get. Also, make sure you have extra batteries for your camera because there are lots of opportunities for pictures."

Before the days of baggage charges, I would pack a duffel bag flat in the bottom of my suitcase, fill it with books and goodies as I collected them and send it back as my second piece of luggage. If you're on an airline that still allows a second piece free (Southwest does) you may want to take that option.

I hope this helps the newbies who will be attending their first RWA conference in San Francisco in just – YIKES! – two weeks. And feel free to add your own advice in the comments section.