Monday, March 28, 2011

Change -- Part Deux

In the space of a matter of weeks, life has changed once again around my house. I’ve got a new job – one in an office with my own desk, computer, and insurance, where I wear dress clothes and am climbing a steep learning curve. Brand new adjustments for everyone – hubby now has to get the kids ready and take them to school, and I’ve had to back out of a field trip. But we’re all learning.

I’m enjoying the structure this imposes on my time, the women that I’m getting to know at work, and the knowledge that for the first time in my marriage I’m significantly contributing to the financial side of our lives without having to put our children into daycare. I’m being trained in a field that most people have to go to school for, and I’ll always have this skill and experience.

On the other hand, this event is bittersweet. This isn’t where I envisioned myself since I started on my writing journey. I know plenty of writers have day jobs and families, but I’m struggling to find some kind of compromise that give me any writing time at all. Obviously work can’t give, and when I get home there are many things to do, none of which involve writing. If we do anything on the weekends, it significantly eats into that time. Add in school stuff, homework, and Little Man’s first foray into kid’s sports (soccer) and evenings are pretty crowded too. Its tough. Its strange. And its good. I know we’ll find a way through this too, and the benefits make me extremely grateful for this opportunity. Change is tough, and I’ve been through more change in the last year than I’ve had since I had to adjust to having 2 children instead of 1. ;)

So tell us, what’s the biggest change you’ve ever had to adjust too?


Coming Soon!
Join us this Wednesday when our dear friend, Presents author Lynn Raye Harris, joins us on the blog!!!


Barbara Vey said...

Becoming a single parent after a bitter divorce. Having a fulltime job, one son in college, a 10 year old son and I had gone back to get my degree. I had to give up on college for myself, but I never regretted it.

Actually, things turned out pretty well, so it's really just a time/adjustment me thing. We're all tougher than we think.

Cheryl said...

Set aside some time for yourself - even if it is just an hour. You need to take a "Time out" for yourself. It's important. Let the laundry go or pick up hamburgers once a week instead of cooking. You can squeeze the time!!! Remember you are entitled!!!!

Hugs and best wishes on the new Job!!!!

Playground Monitor said...

Y'all know my biggest change -- divorce. It sucks, but it is what it is.

I worked when my kids were younger and we designated Fridays as "Eat Out Night." By then everyone was beyond frazzled and no one wanted to cook. So we'd go out to eat or I'd stop on the way home for carry-out.

I agree with Barbara -- we're tougher than we think. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!” It's true.

Playground Monitor said...

Oh, and I may be in your shoes before long but without the husband and kid part. I've been applying for part-time jobs. Apparently I'm over-qualified because I have a college degree.

Angel said...

Yep, I know I'll eventually figure it all out, its the figuring it out part that is frustrating me. :) Even good changes are changes.

I'm very grateful that I'm not going through this alone. I have a great support system -- my husband, sister, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law, not to mention a slew of playfriends. :) And the job is flexible in some ways. I get off work early enough to pick up children from school, and if they are sick or whatever, that isn't a problem.

We're just feeling our way. :)


Angel said...

Ugh, PM. That is so frustrating!!! Let me know if I can help in any way.


Angel said...

Yep, some strategies will definitely help. I like the idea of designated eating out nights. That would save me some time. :)

Cheryl, I'm trying! The hubby is now the designated laundry man. And I'm trying to set aside weekends for writing, but that's not going over very well.


Smarty Pants said...

Big change? I guess moving cross country to live in Alabama. New job, new house, new friends, new accent. That took years to adjust to. I'm sure you'll get the swing of working much faster.

LeaAnnS said...

Biggest change? Deciding to stay home rather than continuing to teach in a classroom setting. Major pay cut, major self-esteem cut, major adjustment period, but I couldn't be happier with my decision now.

We have a designated eat-out night too, and it is wonderful! Plus, when I don't want to cook dinner other nights, I give myself that little bit of motivation to keep me going: "Just do it tonight, and on Friday, you won't have to cook at all..."

My biggest piece of advice: learn to say no to weekend commitments. Especially commitments for the kids. They would go all they time if you let them, filling up every weekend and never giving you time off. Limit sleepovers and b'day parties to a certain amount, and try to only plan things that give you as much of a break as possible. Even one day spent without going anywhere works to refresh your brain and body. If I don't have a free weekend to stay home and veg and get chores done at least once a month, I go into survival mode! :)

Problem Child said...

I don't mind change as much as I mind the resistance to change from the outside. (The Playfriends have heard all about this in the last few weeks, as one little change has a whole group taking up arms against me!)

It's inevitable folks. Fighting against change only leads to headaches and insanity.

Soldier on, Angel. Soon this change will be the norm...

robertsonreads said...

Yes, like some Barbara & Marily, bitter divorce. But time does help. Also unemployment was no fun.

Is it possible to bring a laptop along? Let your daughter bring along a few toys to play with? Whatever the case, you definitely need to carve some time out for YOU!

PS congratulations on the job!

PM's Mother said...


The first time was going back into the workplace after 11 years of being a stay-at-home mom when my husband's company closed shop and he was suddenly unemployed.

Second time was when my 48-year- old husband died suddenly of a massive heart atack and left me a 43-year-old widdow with two teen-age daughters.

My advice is to set priorities. Eliminate those things that are not absolutely necessary, and try to streamline those that are.

Through both of these changes I still found time to sew, as I made most of my and my daughters' clothes.