Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Why I resolve nothing.

I used to do New Year's resolutions every year. I would solemnly swear that *this* time, I'd follow through. And I never did. I'd beat myself up over it, too, feeling a bit like a failure every year.

Eh, who needs it?

This year, I'm not making any. I'm going to Keep Calm and Carry On. Keep up my overarching life goal to be a better wife, mom, friend and human being. I'm going to keep working, keep trying, and keep hoping.

And I'm going to encourage others to do the same.

The New Year holds promise, I know. We like to think the slate can be wiped clean, but it really can't. Trying to make a huge change -- regardless of how good it might be -- seems to undermine the fact that who we were makes us who we are. And while you may not want to be *that* person any more, don't regret that you were. And don't beat yourself up for it either.

The problem with Resolutions is that once I break one, I figure I might as well backslide all the way back to square one. Therefore, I accomplish nothing positive and I get to feel like a failure to boot. Not good. Not good at all.

I like goals, though. Goals in nice, manageable, measurable chunks, that, after a while, add up to something pretty cool. Whether it's a new book, a new look, or a new me.

And I like the connotation of "goals" better than "resolutions" as well. It just seems so much more positive and optimistic.

Do you make resolutions? Are you a goal setter? Are you good at keeping either? Any suggestions to help others keep up their resolutions or reach their goals?



Playground Monitor said...

I have written down goals for the past three years and then put them in a box on top of my desk. At the end of the year, I review them and see how I did. The last two years have been sideswiped by my unfortunate marital woes. But I did achieve some of the goals, so something is better than nothing. Right? I'm still working on the ones for 2011. I'd dated my 2010 list and I didn't get to them until the 17th of January. I still have plenty of time.

Smarty Pants said...

My goal/resolution has pretty much been the same the last few times. After years of setting this arbitrary 'thing' like losing X pounds or flossing or whatever, then eventually failing, I made a change. Why can't a resolution be something you want to do? No one ever resolves to travel more or get a massage once a month.

So mine is to take better care of things. Me - which means trying to eat better and exercise, but also gets credit for pedicures, massages, bubble baths and other little indulgences. My house - clean more regularly, declutter, paint and finish projects. My friends and family - spending more time and being more supportive with both.

What other resolution allows you to succeed by getting a pedicure with a friend?

Christine said...

I'm a goal setter. I also review my year's accomplishments before I sit down to make the next year's list of goals. I need to pat myself on the back for a job well-done so I enter the new year with a positive outlook.

Instigator said...

I don't think of the changes I'm making as resolutions so much as just using the new slate to start things I've known I needed to do for a long time. I may be splitting hairs but I think there's a difference.


Katherine Bone said...

I am trying to organize my life with a cool calendar I got this year. Maybe by putting my life in some kind of order and seeing where I divide my time, I can more easily achieve the goals I've set for myself this year.

It's always good to add in down time. I like SP's goals of taking good care of herself. If you aren't happy, no one else will be happy. ;)

Good luck to everyone!!

robertsonreads said...

I am with you, I prefer setting goals as opposed to resolutions. I haven't really set any this year but I really need to. And I do like the idea of writing them down, putting in a jar and at the end of the see what I have accomplished.
Good wishes to all on their goals.

Cheryl said...

I have no resolutions. I probably wouldn't keep them any way. I just want to be a better person like PC. Maybe I should get one of those calendars Kathy has and set some goals for myself.