Tasteful Tuesday -- Thank-you notes

I keep seeing folks talk about Gratitude like it’s part of a 12-Step program to better mental health. I don’t disagree. Nothing helps overcome the “I’ll-go-eat-some-worms” or “my-life-just-sucks” feelings like a quick run-down of all the things you have to be grateful for. Your family, your health, the blooms on the African Violet you were sure you’d killed last winter. If you look around, you’ll see there’s usually something in your life you can be grateful for. Something you’d want to give thanks for having.

Oprah used to talk about Gratitude Journals, where you write down five things each day that you’re thankful for. Can it help you find some inner peace or happiness? I don’t know, because I’ve never taken the time to do it. Mainly because I’m behind on my thank-you notes, and if I’m going to take the time to write down what I’m grateful for, I should damn well be thanking the person responsible in a written format.

Yes, today’s Tasteful Tuesday is about Thank-You notes.

Every etiquette maven, from Miss Manners to my own Miss Behavior, lectures about the importance of Thank-You notes. You can also put my mom in that group. ~grin~ The importance of Thank-You notes was instilled in me from a very young age, usually through threats of either not getting to play with said gift until I wrote the note or the possibility that I would not receive more presents from the giver unless proper notes were sent.

I will confess: these are the same threats I use with AC.

(I can guarantee there’s at least one person reading this who is thinking, “Um, PC owes me a Thank-You note. Pot, meet Kettle.” I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll get on that ASAP.)

Thank-You notes don’t have to be fancy or long, but they do have a few standards. I won’t lecture anyone here, but if you need a refresher in the writing of thank-yous, there’s a great article here.

My favorite tale to tell on my mom and her thank-you note crusade dates back to my high school graduation. Like most graduates, many of my gifts were money stuffed in cards. My mom’s youngest brother sent money as well. Now my uncle is only eleven years older, and as directed by my mom for years, I was trying to personalize each thank you note to the giver (but there are only so many ways to say “thanks for your generosity” when you’re seventeen years old.). But Fred’s note was easy to write, because I told him exactly what I did with the money: I bought tickets to the Aerosmith concert. (The Pump tour, for you Aerosmith fans.)

Mom was horrified, but I knew Uncle Fred would be very pleased to know I’d attended said concert. He would think it was an excellent use of the funds, and would possibly be disappointed he couldn’t go as well. I got great seats and the concert ROCKED! (My only regret is my date. He was a waste of a concert ticket.)

And I was right. My uncle was happy to learn I’d used his gift for such a great event. (I used money from another gift to buy a t-shirt while I was there, but I didn’t tell the sender of that gift I used the money for that. That person probably wanted me to buy college textbooks or something equally boring or proper, so I let them think I did. Everyone was happy.)

So, are you behind on your thank-you notes? Ever had to figure out the proper wording to thank someone for the tackiest gift you immediately gave to Goodwill? Have you received any “interesting” thank yous? Or, have you started wondering why the thank you note has become a rare thing (and can you still name the people who didn’t send you a thank-you note for that wedding present you sent five years ago)?

PC

P.S. Congratulations to Kathy, Julie Miller's winner from last Thursday. Please forward me your snail mail address so we can get your copy of Takedown out to you. instigator@writingplayground.com

Tasteful Tuesday -- Olympic Fashion

I’m no fashion guru, and I certainly don’t have a lot of room to criticize other people’s wardrobe choices, but geez, the Olympics have brought out my inner Joan Rivers…

Join me on the Red Carpet..

Let's look first at the stylish outfits worn at the opening ceremonies:


I know Ralph Lauren designed these outfits (and they aren't truly hideous), but this just doesn't say "elite athlete" to me. It rather speaks of Grey Poupon mustard, pipes and brandy by the fire, and discussions of the Great War. I mean, honestly, these people are the best of the best; they are a miracle combination of genetics and training and technology, and this outfit makes them look like they're one bus stop from the old folks' home.

Next up, Snowboarding:

This is the official team outfit.

Snowpants made to look like ratty jeans? Come on, this is the Olympics: World-wide television, representing your country, making your mom so proud... I know you're snowboarders: you're cool, you're hip, and stoner-boy is the current trend. But today you are an Olympic athlete. Can you at least humor your mom and the IOC and wear something that doesn't look like you grabbed it off the dirty laundry heap on your bedroom floor?

I know, you snowboaders don't want to wear one of these:


And I can't really blame you. But surely there's a happy compromise in the middle.

So after posting that last picture, let's go ahead and talk lycra. I fully understand that these athletes are going for function over form. Substance over style. They need something that's warm, but doesn't add bulk or weight or restrict range of motion.

This suit is perfect for that.

It doesn't mean it's going to look good.

Now, if I had the body of an Olympic athlete, I'd be flaunting it. Everywhere I went. Lycra would become an important part of my wardrobe. But head-to-toe lycra isn't a good look for anyone -- regardless of the shape they're in. But I get it, I really do: FUNCTION OVER FASHION. But whose bright idea was this:

Are those flames on her thighs? I know she's a speedskater and faster than greased lightening on those skates, but flames? On her thighs? Are they trying to make her look like a Hot Wheels car?

And this:

That's just cruel. Like Two-man luge isn't a strange enough sport, they had to put them in those outfits? No one -- I don't care how great your shape is -- can make that look not horrible. (Of course, these guys are crazy enough to do two-man luge -- which I think is code for "don't-tell-my-mom-I'm-rocketing-down-an-ice-tunnel-on-a-sled-I-can't-really-steer" -- so they have many other issues to deal with besides horrible outfits.)


Last, but not least, the strangest outfits of all: Men's Figure Skating.


Skaters, too, need to have the whole range-of-motion, non-constricting outfit need. Plus, this is an artistic sport, so uniforms are out and costumes are in. I'm totally on board with that.

Please understand that I grew up in a ballet company. The guys I went to school with wore tights every day. And they wore them on stage with little more than an interesting waist-length jacket to complete the look. I understand costuming traditions. I'm all for expression of the music and mood through fabric choices. A little glitter and pizazz never hurt anybody. I understand that tights are not in the least bit indicative of sexuality or prowess.

But, guys, honestly -- are you not getting taunted enough these days just for being a figure skater?

Do we really need to egg on the bullies with something like this:

Or this?

You are strong, powerful, flexible, and graceful -- not a combo we see in most male athletes. You are also wearing extremely sharp blades on your feet. You could could probably combine some kind of spinning-jump-kick and remove my head with those things. You are practically a lethal weapon. Set to classical music. You're a martini and a gun away from being James Freakin' Bond. Come on, guys, can you show me some testosterone?

And then there's atrocities like this:




Who told this couple those outfits were anything other than ridiculous? They look like the the junior high drama club's costume department threw them together on a Saturday morning from stuff they grabbed out of the craft closet. Did they lose a bet? (I'd say yes, but as you can tell from the captions above, they wore this costume twice. On purpose.)

Now, I understand that most of the athletes -- other than the skaters -- don't have a lot of choice in their Olympic wear, and their focus is on winning. Not on how that red-white-and-blue lycra suit would make even the most buff and toned look strangely lumpy in places. I will raise an eyebrow, but realize that function trumps form for a gold medal.

The snowboarders? I want to tell them to pull up their pants.

The skaters? Don't you just know that Clinton and Stacy are dying to burst into the dressing rooms and clear the racks of costumes?

But no matter what I think of what any of them are wearing, I bow to their dedication, discipline and drive. Not just Team USA, but all the athletes who train their whole lives for a shot at a medal. The fact you're at the Olympics at all puts you in a whole different class.

So, was there an outfit at the Olympics that bugged you?

PC

PS: Julie Cohen blogs tomorrow on something creepier than that pair's outfits...

Tasteful Tuesday -- Cheese

I’m a bit of a cheese freak. Now, as a good Southern girl, I was pretty limited in my cheese tastes growing up: American, Swiss, Cheddar, Mozzarella, pre-grated Parmesan, and Colby. Maybe some brie on occasion, but that big display of cheese at the fancy grocery store never really warranted a second glance.

Then I moved to the UK, and a whole new cheese world opened up for me. At first, I felt like the biggest hick in the universe ("what do you mean “American” isn’t a real kind of cheese?”) But then my cheese education began, and I’ve become one of those people who will spend $10 on a wedge of Parmesan cheese and grate it myself.

I could eat Boursin on bagels for breakfast, a white cheddar paired with apples for lunch, a hot, melty brie and strawberries for dessert, and creamy Camembert with just about anything, any time. A steak with a gorgonzola crust may make your arteries clang closed in protest, but your tongue will be happy! The Playfriends (except for Angel) love my Emmenthaler and Gruyere fondue. (And I’m looking for a fondue recipe that will satisfy all the Playfriends.)

I’ll eat goat cheese on just about anything, and honestly, I’d probably eat dirt if you mixed it with Neufchatel. Marscopone, ricotta, cottage – bring it on.

My appreciation of stinky cheeses is very limited, and I’m still on the fence about many of the “blue”-type cheeses. DG loves smoked cheeses, but, to me, barbeque should be smoked – not cheese. So, my cheese love is not absolute or without bounds. But there are still plenty of cheeses left for me to discover, and trust me, that’s a journey I look forward to!

I’m not ignorant of the downside to cheese; it can be high in fat, cholesterol and sodium, and therefore not the Heart Association’s Most Favorite Food. Soft, unpasteurized cheeses can also carry harmful bacteria. If you’re lactose-intolerant, cheese is probably not your best friend.

But cheese *is* a good-for-you food. It has high levels of calcium, phosphorous, and protein, and contains vitamins A, B-12, and D. Your bones and teeth are the obvious beneficiaries of cheese, but there is also some evidence that makes cheese a player in helping with hypertension, liver function, and even cancer prevention.

My Southern roots need not fear, though, because there is one cheese that many will turn their noses up at (and really isn’t even “cheese” by definition), but that I will never be able to forswear – no matter how refined my cheese palate becomes:
Good old Velveeta. You can’t beat Velveeta when it comes to pure melty-ness, and melty-ness is very important when it comes to making macaroni-and-cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, and, of course, that party staple, Ro-Tel Dip.

So, are you a cheese freak? A cheese snob? Anti-cheese for some reason? Do share with the Playground…

PC

**For more information than you could ever want, visit Cheese.com, a website that will educate you on everything from rind type to what cheese goes well with beer. It also links to places that will deliver cheese to your door and has a huge recipe database.

Tasteful Tuesday -- The Language of Flowers

I recently read a great book where the heroine was doing the artwork for a book on the meaning of flowers. I became fascinated by this "secret language," where you could send a message to your beloved by way of a bouquet.

Why had I never heard of this? Why wasn't TelaFlora advertising the heck out of the idea? A bouquet that holds a message -- that's perfect romance fodder. A beautiful, fragrant puzzle. Hey, if you're going to plunk down the cash for flowers, you could get that arrangement to do double-duty.

So, according to Wikipedia (I know, I need a better source), "the language of flowers, sometimes called floriography, was a Victorian-era means of communication in which various flowers and floral arrangements were used to send coded messages, allowing individuals to express feelings which otherwise could not be spoken. This language was most commonly communicated through Tussie-Mussies, an art which has a following today."

(I just love the phrase Tussie-Mussies.)

This is awesome stuff. And, I realized, a perfect topic for a Tasteful Tuesday blog! I was going to provide a list of flowers and their meanings, and have everyone put together a virtual bouquet to send to their beloved. (Or design the one they thought a lover would send to them.)

Five minutes on the internet, though, and I realized I'd hit a bit of a snag. Seems some of the meanings of flowers have gotten a little confused over the years, as several websites listed flowers and their meanings and they didn't quite agree.

This could be disastrous! Imagine you send your beloved Azaleas. If they went to this site, they'd be told it meant "abundance." But at this site, it would mean "Fragile and Ephemeral Passion." Not the same thing.

Even worse -- your beloved sends you Lavender. Depending which site Google ranks first, you could be translating that Lavender as either "distrust" or "devotion."

And I thought the Mars and Venus language gap was difficult to bridge. You could think you were sending one message and end up sending something else entirely.

Very tricky. And now that I can't find consensus on the internet for anything other than red tulips, a couple of rose types, and rosemary, my Tasteful Tuesday blog topic is shot.

But we can talk about flowers anyway. What kind of flowers do you like to receive? Are you a classic Red Rose kind of girl? Or would you rather have peonies? Irises? Daffodils? Any flowers send the wrong message to you?

(I actually don't like roses that much. I like calla lilies, orchids, peonies, and daisies. And I'm very superstitious about red carnations. They're bad luck. They give me the willies just looking at them. Of course, guess what the first flowers DG ever brought me were? I put a smile on my face, thanked him, and put them in the closet until they died -- only pulling them out when DG came to my room. Do you know how long it takes carnations to die? FOREVER. But it was the thought that counted. I know that he meant well. He now knows not to bring me red carnations. ~grin~)

PC

***Instigator is blogging over a the Blaze Authors blog today about Christmas music. That's pretty Tasteful!

A Tasteful Tuesday Guest Blog with Annie Burrows!

Oh, I think ballroom dancing is very Tasteful, and historical novels are all about what's Tasteful, so many thanks to Annie Burrows for bringing both to the Playground for today's Tasteful Tuesday!


Hi! I’m Annie Burrows, and I’ve never blogged on this site before. Just to introduce myself, I write Historicals for Harlequin, mainly set in the Regency era. And, for “Tasteful Tuesday”, I’m going to be talking about ballroom dancing, in particular, the waltz.

Fans of shows like “Strictly Come Dancing” or the US equivalent, “Dancing with the Stars” will not need to be told that the waltz is danced in 3 / 4 time with a strong accent on the first beat, and a basic pattern of step-step-close. The lady performing the waltz in these kind of shows usually wears something long and floaty that swirls as she twirls, and the man quite often adopts white tie and tails. It looks so tasteful, and romantic, doesn’t it, when you see couples such as Jade and Ian waltzing round the set of Strictly Come Dancing? And I have often set key scenes between my heroes and heroines during balls, describing the romance which sparks as they waltz in each others arms.

And yet, at the back of my mind, I always wondered how it could be possible to decide on a potential spouse during the course of one or two waltzes. And totally dismissed the old-fashioned notion that there was anything the least bit indecent about the waltz. Because, as I’m sure many of you know, at the time most of my stories are set, many people thought it was quite a shocking dance!

"We remarked with pain that the indecent foreign dance called the Waltz was introduced (we believe for the first time) at the English court on Friday last (reads an article from the Times of 1816)... it is quite sufficient to cast one's eyes on the voluptuous intertwining of the limbs and close compressure on the bodies in their dance, to see that it is indeed far removed from the modest reserve which has hitherto been considered distinctive of English females. So long as this obscene display was confined to prostitutes and adulteresses, we did not think it deserving of notice; but now…we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion."

What? Voluptuous intertwining of limbs? A fatal contagion? Is that the same dance we’re talking about? Surely not!

Yet another group of people who strenuously opposed the introduction of waltzing to polite society were, strangely enough, dancing masters. They claimed that the basic steps were so simple, they could be learned in a relatively short time. Which might have posed a threat to their profession.

Simple! Hah! It might be simple for some people. Those who know their left foot from their right, for instance. But once I began to take ballroom dance lessons myself, I soon learned that doing the waltz is a vastly different experience from watching the waltz. For a start, you would not believe how much all that rising and falling makes your calf muscles ache. And then, once you master that basic step, there are reverse turns, spin turns, contra checks and hovers. Not to mention hesitations, and reverse spin turns.

But then, all of a sudden, something clicks, and…you’re dancing! And – wow! I could not believe how sexy it is, having my partner twirling me round, whilst holding me almost as closely as he would if he was just about to kiss me. It is, quite simply, one of the most erotic experiences you can have in a public place with all your clothes on! (The flip side is that there is no easy way to overcome the shock of being held, face on, by a man who is a virtual stranger to you. When he plants his feet between your legs, to push you into a reverse turn…yeeurgh!)

Ok, you get the picture. It is a very intimate experience, waltzing. Wasn’t it Oscar Wilde who described ballroom dancing as a vertical expression of a horizontal desire? How right he was! Now that I’ve done some waltzing myself, I can completely understand why it is that so many of the celebrities involved in “Strictly” embark on affaires with their dancing teachers. And why a girl could decide, during the course of one waltz, if she could marry her partner. Or not.

So, if you want to inject some romance back into your relationship, I can thoroughly recommend going along to your nearest dance school, and booking a course of lessons.

There is absolutely no guarantee you are going to end up looking like an Alesha Dixon, or a Tom Chambers (recent winners of Strictly…) My partner and I certainly don’t have “The Look”. For one thing, we are getting on a bit. And one of us (I won’t specify which) might possibly have two left feet. As one teacher remarked to my husband, whilst learning the tango, (which is supposed to be one of the sexiest dances) “You look about as romantic as if you’re pushing a trolley round a supermarket!”

But we are not going to give up our lessons. Spending the evening in each other’s arms, giggling as we blunder into the furniture, yelping as we tread on each other’s toes, and occasionally, gloriously, experiencing the triumph of mastering a complicated step, is always an utter delight.

And we can’t wait to get home!

Annie

Visit Annie at www.annie-burrows.co.uk. Annie's November book, Devilish Lord, Mysterious Miss, is available now. Click below to read the first chapter!

The Launch of Tasteful Tuesdays -- and a book!

As part of our themed week, the first Tuesday of the month will be “Tasteful Tuesday.” I’ve got a bit of leeway with what’s “tasteful”—it could be recipes, it could be jewelry.


Today I’m defining “tasteful” in the best possible way – with a party for my new release! After all, the heroine of The Millionaire’s Misbehaving Mistress is an etiquette expert. She should know what’s tasteful and what’s tacky. And good manners are always tasteful. This book came out in the UK in April, and I’ve been waiting impatiently for its US release. Now it’s finally here! Here’s the blurb:

Perfect, polite… and passionate!

As Dallas’s most eligible bachelor and heir to his family’s fortune, billionaire Will Harrison knows how to handle the paparazzi – but his little sister Evie is a worry…

Miss Behavior, etiquette expert Gwen Sawyer, has only three weeks to work her magic on Evie before a society ball, and so moves into Will’s luxurious penthouse. However she discovers too late that etiquette is the last thing on devilishly handsome Will’s mind…

Coffee Time Romance gave MMM 5 cups, Blue Moon called it "fresh and charming," and CataRomance said it "entertains with witty repartee and sizzling passion." (They also called me talented -- squee!)

When I say I love this book, I’m not kidding. I know I should love all my book children equally, but there’s something about these characters that makes me smile every time I think about them. I hope you fall in love with these characters too, because I’m currently working on Evie’s story (tentatively scheduled for a late 2010 release)!

So to appease my etiquette-expert heroine and stick with the Tasteful Tuesday theme, we’ll have a very polite and tasteful party today. Break out the good china, tell Capt’n Jack to behave himself, and hold your pinkies up while you sip that Teeter-Totter.

I’ll give away a copy of the book to a commenter today, so party on!

With decorum, of course. ~grin~

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