The Carrot or the Stick?

Which one motivates you? Some folks like reward, while others do better if they’re avoiding punishment. I always tended to be a stick person. I think it comes from too many years in the dance studio, where I, quite literally, got hit with a stick.

But I think I finally found a carrot.

My ego got a couple of bad kicks recently. Let’s just say that Lynn’s Best Week Ever was the complete opposite of mine. Presents contest—nope. Golden Heart—nope. A one-two punch that carried that extra-special kick of being happy for someone else while bemoaning my own bad luck.

(And yes, I am genuinely happy for Lynn and her amazing success. I’d be happier for me, of course, but I’m tickled for her. She’s worked really hard for this.)

So on Tuesday night, after no happy Golden Heart phone calls, I was a little blue. Me and a thousand other people, right? I couldn’t help it. Yes, it’s a crap shoot. Yes, I should be happy with the other successes I’ve had. Blah, blah, blah. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. I wanted to final in the Golden Heart, dammit, and no amount of justifications would take away the disappointment of not doing so.

Maybe I was a slightly deeper shade of blue than I thought, 'cause I seemed to worry the Darling Geek just a bit. I guess it rolled over into Wednesday morning as I was getting ready to go to class—I’m subbing for an instructor at the local university while she’s out on maternity leave. DG finally called on Wednesday afternoon to check on me and make sure that I wasn’t going to give up writing forever. He was quite surprised to find me totally recovered from my funk and almost chipper.

Seems I found the cure to the non-finalling funk.

Three back-to-back classes of eye-rolling freshmen with attitude problems had reminded me how much I dislike teaching. I’d rather write than teach any day. And as long as DG is willing to support my writing habit, I can stay out of the classroom, and those students can roll their eyes at someone else. Volia! One carrot.

DG wants to make it a rule that from now on, I have to teach the day after any contest results are announced or any letters from editors are opened. Just to help me keep it all in perspective, you know.

I’ll probably still need the stick occasionally. Old habits die hard. So are you a stick person or a carrot person? And what’s your carrot?



PC

What day is it and what am I supposed to be doing?

January is a time for making resolutions and setting goals. The Playfriends got together for lunch on Sunday and we talked about what we're working on and what our goals are.

I won't go into details, but at one point Problem Child pulled out a desk calendar/day planner that was the envy of Angel. PC had purchased it at Staples, which was a few doors down from our lunch destination, but alas, they had no more of them.

I hope Angel was able to find a desk calendar/day planner to her liking because it's a very important tool. Or at least it is to me.

I've used everything from a dollar store desk calendar to a very expensive Franklin planner and everything in between.

Without a calendar and a place to write things down, I'd never be on time for a single appointment. The memory just isn't what it used to be, not to mention I have a lot going on in my life. I have appointments and deadlines and luncheons and meetings. Then there are birthdays and anniversaries and holidays.


The Bylines calendar shown above is what I used last year. It's laid out by the week and in the front it has a goal-setting section for the year and then a page for each month where you can fill in your goals for that month and then check them off. It also has a tasks list for the month. It lists literary holidays (did you know January is National Get Organized Month?), all the Nobel prize winners for literature and the Pulitzer prize winners for fiction and poetry. There's a contributors' section (more about that later), some pages for notes, a list of books for writers and two pages of sources on the web.

They buy short essays from writers and feature a different writer each week. I wanted to submit to them and I needed to see exactly what sort of essays they'd bought, so that's why I bought it -- as a research tool. Consequently I sent in two pieces and one was selected. I'm in the 2008 Bylines calendar. There was a delay with the printer and I don't have it yet; it's due in sometime this week. I just hope I wasn't the featured author for last week. I know it sounds egotistical, but I want to be in a week yet to come so people all over can see my face and read my words and think "Oh wow! I'd like to have my picture in this calendar." My current "To Do" list contains "Submit for 2009 Bylines."

Are you a desk calendar person? Is there any particular one you use or just whatever strikes your fancy and/or meets your budget? Any tips for keeping it up to date? I started with the goals pages last year and made it through February. :-( I'm good about taking the old calendar and moving birthdays and anniversaries to the new one. And I always mark down doctor's appointments and haircuts. But it's the darned goals stuff that gets me every time.

One lucky commenter will receive a... no, not a desk calendar, but a journal for writing down your New Year's resolutions, to-do lists and your deepest secrets and desires.


Speaking of goals, our good friend Barbara Vey of Publishers Weekly hit her weight loss goal yesterday and is blogging about it today. Please pop over and congratulate her. She didn't just lose a couple of pounds; she lost a LOT and has been an inspiration to many people.

Good news department: Peggy Webb who is a member of our RWA chapter has been nominated for two career achievement awards by the reviewers at Romantic Times magazine. Congratulations to Peggy!

Good news department part deux: #2 son has been accepted into graduate school at Western Carolina University, which is where he did his undergraduate work and also is mine and the DH's alma mater. His graduate studies will be in Physical Education with the goal of becoming a college track coach. Three cheers for my baby boy!

Um..Do As I Say Not As I Do?

Okay, so maybe I should follow my own advice. Well, really, I tried to follow my own advice but...things got out of hand. Honestly. One of my jobs on the playground is to occasionally look at a playfriend and admonish them for not saying no to something - like being classroom mom or agreeing to cook cupcakes for 50. I'm big on practicing the word no and I'm pretty good at saying it :-) However, I just couldn't get it out this time.

Every year our school has a major fundraiser. And when I say major I mean we raise around 30K in one night to help keep the cost of tuition down (my girls go to private school). We have an auction - silent and live - and a few other fundraising games and fun while we sip on beverages and eat overcooked beef at the country club.

Each class is responsible for providing a 'basket' of goodies that are auctioned off. Over the years we've discovered that if you can involve the kids in the project it brings in more money for the school. You might remember blogs from last year where I somehow got put in charge of procuring a picnic table (in Oct), having a classroom full of 5 yr olds paint it with their hands and coordinating other things to go with a picnic themed basket in the middle of winter. It was weeks of trips to the hardware store trying to find a lacquer that would mix with the paint we had, withstand outdoor punishment, and be healthy for an eating surface...a nightmare. The thing turned out adorable but...a NIGHTMARE.

So this year auction time rolls around and I've decided I have done my duty. I will shell out my money to attend and provide funds for assembling said basket but will not be in charge of it. I was very proud of myself when I received the phone call to work on Sweet Pea's basket. I said I couldn't get off work for the meeting, gave them an idea (which they're using) and brushed my hands of the affair thinking myself safe. Uh, no. I forgot about Baby Girl's class.

For those who don't know, Baby Girl's teacher changed last week. She now has Sweet Pea's kindergarten teacher from last year. We absolutely love Mrs. Kim! However when (in her first 2 days there) she says she was told me and my sister (who has a son in the class) are her auction basket mom's my jaw hit the floor. What? But we love Mrs. Kim and...we're in the middle of this upheaval and this needs to be taken care of quickly...and our room mom is actually in charge of acquisitions for the entire auction already so she really does have a full plate...and my sister's going to help so... So now I am trying to pull together a Cooking with the Kids basket. They are going to paint an adult and child's apron. We're going to do a cookbook with pictures of them all in a chef's hat. And I'm going to kill myself before the end of Nov. Yeah, I should definitely follow my own advice.

Ever have a situation where you should have followed your own advice?

Instigator

P.S. The winner from my blog last week is Stacy S. Congratulations! :-) Contact me here to claim your prize.