How about a little power boost today?

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Last year we had Friend-of-the-Playground Pamela Hearon visit and blog about her experience with breast cancer. Earlier this year, my then-neighbor Kelley began an online journal about her diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer and she’s agreed to share with us today a little of her story.

Please scooch over and make room around the sandbox for Kelley.



Knowledge is power. I believe that is a very true statement. The problem comes when knowledge is also very scary. To be more specific, all my life I have been afraid to go to the doctor. I can’t tie it back to one incident that started this feeling or one doctor that was particularly frightening. All I know is when I am confronted with needing to go to a doctor, my instincts kick in and I go into survival mode. I know that sounds strange but that is how I feel. Every fiber of my being is screaming, “Don’t go!”. It is not that I am afraid of needles, white coats, blood, or even pain. I am afraid that I will learn something totally horrifying. After all, doctors have a knack for finding something wrong with you.

My breast cancer was thus discovered and diagnosed in a very unorthodox fashion. I presented myself to the emergency room with a very swollen breast. I thought I had a very bad infection and initially it looked that way. The surgeon on call that day who showed up to do a simple drainage of an abscess felt a biopsy was in order for a few reasons and did so while in surgery. He was right do to it because that biopsy proved to be positive. He delivered the news three days later that I indeed had breast cancer.

Scary knowledge. That’s what it was. Learning was scary. Scary pathology reports. Scary statistics. Scary choices. See, I was right! Doctors are scary!

Are a lot of you shaking your heads yet? I imagine you are thinking about how silly a grown woman must be to be scared to go for check ups and things like mammograms. I don’t care. To me this fear is real. My point in writing this down and sending it out is that if there is another woman out there who has this same fear and it keeps her from taking care of herself, then maybe she will know she is not alone and hopefully I can encourage that woman to find someone to help her. Maybe you know someone like this and you have thought that woman was lazy or stupid. If you do, please read on because maybe you could help that woman more than you ever know.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am not lazy. I work hard as a mom and a wife and feel I do a great job. I am also not stupid. I understand the importance of preventive medicine and finding diseases in early stages to improve the chance of recovery. But to get up and walk to the phone and make that appointment is so overwhelming that I just can not do it.

So, how do you help someone like me. Nagging is not the way. Telling me over and over that I just simply have to do it doesn’t work. I know I need to do it. I just can’t. I think it might be as simple as calling that woman and saying, “I know you are scared. What can I do to help make it less scary?” Then, be willing to do that. Don’t patronize but be there to listen and to help.
To the woman with the fear, I hope you can find the strength to call someone and ask for the support you need. I know it is hard but there are people who are willing to help if you just ask. I hope you will be braver than me and find courage that I couldn’t. Can I promise it won’t be scary? No. What I can promise is that there are people that will help you and guess what? Some of them are doctors and nurses! Yes, I did get the rolling of the eyes and the shaking of the heads from some of them, but I ignore them and move on to the ones who treat me with respect and caring no matter how nervous I am. They are out there and if that gives you the knowledge you need to take that first step, then I hope I gave it to you.

As for me and my health, I am not quite ready to rehash the details and the specifics about my cancer but it was caught early and had not spread to my lymph nodes. I am done with my chemo treatments and am preparing for radiation to start. I am blessed with a family that has been totally supportive, friends that keep my spirits up, and a medical team that welcomes me with open arms and has the knowledge to give me the power I need to move forward.
　

For more information about breast cancer and what you can do to help find a cure, go to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure website.

And go to The Breast Cancer Site to help fund free mammograms for women who might ordinarily not have access to them.

And last but certainly not least, keep abreast of your own body by doing breast self examination every month.

Throw it Out!

In case you're sensing a theme in the photo, this is my Red Hat group -- the Red Hat Rovers. And two weeks ago we roved to Merrimack Hall here in town and attended a program by Gail Blanke called Throw Out Fifty Things.

Based on her book Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life, the program sought to empower attendees by encouraging us to literally throw out fifty things in our homes and unclutter our lives both physically and emotionally.

Gail is a motivational speaker, columnist and life coach in addition to her role as an author, and she shared with the audience her "6 1/2 Steps to Owning Your Power." * Conquer these, she says, and you'll be on the road to a truly exceptional life.

First, you tap into the power of a vision. When he was planning the Disney World property in Florida, Walt Disney told his crew, "Build the castle first" because that's where the magic is. We all need to determine what our "castle" is and build it first. Then once we've discovered the magic inside us, we can do anything.

Second, let go. Get rid of the garbage, the junk, the negative, the doubts and fears. She said, "If it makes you feel bad, get rid of it!" And this doesn't just apply to things. Remove yourself from negative relationships and toxic friends, too. This is where her book title comes into play. To get in the "letting go" mode, her book lays out a plan to go through your home room by room and declutter. And you are supposed to keep a list of the things you get rid of to give yourself a true idea of the "stuff" you've allowed to accumulate.

Third, make a list of defining moments in your life. These may be as simple as changing from first period biology to fifth and finding a teacher who lit a fire under you about science or as bold as a moment when your back was to the wall and you made the toughest decision of your life and your life took a 180 degree turn. When you string these defining moments together you'll see a pattern of tenacity and determination that will see you through anything.

Fourth, adopt an entrepreneruial spirit. Be open to new ideas. Be receptive to change. Be willing to let go of the past. As the old saying goes, "a rolling stone gathers no moss." In today's quickly changing world, you don't want to be caught with any moss hanging on you.

Fifth, develop your brand. Learn who you are, who you are not and what you stand for. A song lyric goes, "You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything." Find out what that "something" is and take your stand. Gail said, "The world belongs not to the one who fits in, but to the one who stands out." And lest you worry that this might cost you friends, she also said that if enough people love you, the ones who don't, don't matter.

Sixth, learn the difference between fact and interpretation. Too many times we live our lives based on negative interpretations. Instead, take on a positive outlook and re-think how you react to events. Instead of calling things "problems," call them "challenges." Stop saying, "Don't forget to..." and replace it with "Remember to..."

And sixth and a half, find a song that becomes your "power song" and sing it. Pick a song that makes you feel good about yourself, one that emboldens you and reminds you that you're special and unforgettable and truly extraordinary.

So... I came home and I started my spring cleaning a little bit late. Okay, a lot late. Last week a local veterans' group hauled away about one hundred things I'd cleaned out of closets, cupboards and cabinets. A few days later I donated two boxes of children's books. And I still have to go through my attic.

I'm still trying to decide what my brand is. Gail gave us this sentence to complete: "I'm _______ and I'm the one who _________." Obviously my name goes in the first blank but I'm still working on the second.

The part I've enjoyed the most is trying to come up with my power song. She told of one client whose song was the Triumphal March from the opera Aida. Okay. Whatever cranks your tractor. Another client had a call-back interview with MTV and desperately wanted the job, so all the way to the interview she sang Elton John's "The B*tch is Back." And she nailed the job! I have a list of possibilities and they include Helen Reddy's "I am Woman," Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive," Mariah Carey's "Hero," "Sisters are Doing it for Themselves" by the Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin and, believe it or not, Miley Cyrus's "The Climb." I may just have a "power playlist" because each of those songs speaks to a certain part of my life. Who says it has to be just one song?

You assignment (did you honestly think I'd give you a lesson about life and not hand out an assignment?) is to come up with your power song. Post a link to YouTube or some other site where we can all listen to it. And while you're thinking about what the song might be, throw something out!

P.S. Gail thinks Huntsville, Alabama rocks!


*Full credit for this information goes to Gail Blanke who empowered me that night. You can learn more by logging onto throwoutfiftythings.com.

Photo is property of Huntsville Hospital's Laugh & Learn program.