Vacation for Mommy

This week something very different is going down in Angel Land. For the first time since I became a mother, I’ll have no children for a whole week! Yay! Yikes!

This is the first year that both of my kids are going to stay with my mother out of state during the summer. Before this year, I didn’t think Little Man was ready. Even this year, I’m a little concerned, but he wanted to go, so he’s staying. I’ve explained that 6 hours is too far away to drive if you get scared in the middle of the night. And my mother is a wonderful grandmother with plenty enough experience to handle any fears or worries. I know they are in good hands.

So I get what other people call a vacation. I just don’t know what to do with myself. Actually, I do get to go on vacation for 2 days every fall, when I join my fellow chapter members on a retreat. But this is a week. At home. No kids. No whining. No fighting. No cooking (unless I want to). No Disney TV. And no McDonalds. What shall I do? Hmmmm….

1. WRITE
Definitely! I’ve been plotting and planning a new book, very exciting, and I’m hoping to get some chapters written this week.

2. SHOP
Well, it was my birthday this past weekend, and I need new shoes for Nationals…

3. LUNCH
Or maybe dinner? Doesn’t matter, because I don’t have to be home for baths or bedtime. The hubby is capable of taking care of himself, right? Actually, he and I do have plans to celebrate my birthday while the kids are gone.

4. DRIVING SCHOOL
:( After 20 years on the road, I recently got my first speeding ticket. The only downer this week will be mandatory driving school in a very rough part of town, at night… Scary.

So tell me, what would you do if you had a whole week to yourself? I’ll get back to you… once I finally decide to get out of bed. :)

Angel

P.S. Join us on Wednesday when author Christie Ridgway visits the blog.

Summertime! Yikes!

I know most people hail the beginnings of summer with parties, happy smiles, and lazy days by the pool. As a SAHM, who works with her children at home during the off school hours, I find the unending rush of summer days to be something scary to dread, not celebrate. Yes, as my husband reminds me, I no longer have to drag my carcass and everyone else’s out of bed at 6:30 every morning, but that’s actually part of the problem. I know, other mom’s probably view my attitude like I’m Scrooge at Christmas, but I can’t help it. Let’s take a closer look.

1. No alarm clocks = No schedule.

Yes, I don’t have to roll out of bed at the butt-crack of dawn during June and July, but we also have no discernable schedule for the months of summer. I know, I can hear all of you now yelling that I could create one, but seriously? If someone isn’t telling me things have to be done at a certain time, they can so easily be put off. (Remember, I live a life of prioritizing; if it ain't screaming, it doesn't make the list.) Plus, any schedule we put into practice would be overrun by the trip to Grandma’s house, visiting friends to keep the kids occupied, lack of appointments that need to be kept, RWA National Conference, and visits to local attractions (again to keep the kids occupied). So we get to the end of July and I’m trying to figure out what I actually got accomplished since school got out, besides keeping children occupied.

2. No school = Children home 24/7

I’m not saying that school is a babysitter, but frankly, if they aren’t in school then I could use a nanny. I constantly have kids underfoot while I’m trying to write, do client work, handle business phone calls, and continue to do all those things I do when the kids are usually gone. They may not be working (I consider school to be a kid’s job), but I still have to. My frustration gets out of control pretty quick when I get interrupted every 20 minutes and am now expected to stop and mediate the fights that break out every 10.

3. I’m a Loner

Not only am I an introvert, but I thrive on time by myself. The biggest adjustment for me when I had my first child wasn’t even going without sleep (though that was painful), it was never being alone. Sometimes I felt like I was smothering, and the same is true for summertime. The hubby actually bears the brunt of this problem. I manage all day long, but the minute the kids go to bed, I lock myself in the bedroom and don’t wish to see anyone until daylight. Okay, so this is an exaggeration, but it happens more often than not. Poor guy. I’m sure there are times he wonders how he managed to marry a bear that hibernates in the summertime. :)

4. Battle of the Siblings

I’m a twin, so while I do have a sister, it isn’t like most sibling relationships. Our nearest sibling, a brother, wasn’t born until we turned 18 years old. Although I know that my sister and I fought, especially as teens, it was unusual rather than the norm. But it seems like my children do nothing but fight, and it gets worse the more time they spend together. Apparently I haven’t figured out the secret to sibling management yet. My best tactic is to send them to their separate rooms so we can all have some peace and quiet for a while. Oh, and we do have “rest time” every day of the summer. I require my children to spend an hour every afternoon reading in their beds, so we can have some time out from each other. Plus, it gives me an excuse to make them read while they’re out of school. But not an hour after they’re back up, the bickering starts once more…

So no, summer is not my ideal time of the year. And this year, summer is lasting an extra week longer. Instead of going back to school the first week of August, they won’t return until the second week (I think because of budget cuts). The teenager I hired for the past few summers to keep them for one day a week so I could have a break has moved on to college, and I haven’t been able to find another. This might be a long summer indeed.

So, do you have any suggestions for this grumpy summer bear? I’d especially love any tips on handling the fighting, and keeping them occupied without having to stand over them 24/7 every day.

Angel


P.S. Check out the write-up about the Heart of Dixie Romance Readers' Luncheon over on Barbara Vey's blog.

Turn Mom Upside Down & It's Wow

Do you know who this woman is?

Until earlier this month I didn't either.

Her name is Debbie and she is a single mom. When her son was eleven years old, his coach approached her and said it was time for him to start training at a higher level. She thought the coach was kidding. He wasn't. He recognized the boy's skill and work ethic, and he told Debbie if they trained him right, one day he'd do things no one had ever done before.

This woman is a sports mom. She's a member of a special sorority of women worldwide who have spent countless hours and dollars to support their children in their athletic endeavors. A sports mom is a chauffeur, dietitian, nurse, psychologist and any other role she has to play. She watches her child compete and lose, and she is there to console and offer encouragement. She will dry tears and treat injuries and assure them the world isn't over. She may also watch her child compete and win, and she is there to rejoice. But win or lose, the next day the routine continues with practice, practice and more practice.

Then one day the big race comes -- the chance to compete at the very top. And for the duration, nothing exists outside that competitive arena. Her focus is narrowed to one competitor -- her child. The race becomes the longest minutes of her life. She clenches her fists, yells at the top of her lungs, encourages and urges and watches as her child gives the very best his or her body has to offer. She's done all she can do; at this point she's helpless and can only watch.

But when her child crosses the finish line first, her heart stops for just a moment as she double-checks to make sure it's true before she begins to smile like she's never smiled before.

The woman in the photo is Debbie Phelps, and on August 9th, her son Michael won his first gold medal of the 2008 Olympic games. Last Saturday, he lived up to his coach's prediction and did something no one has ever done before. He's won more Olympic medals overall than any other athlete. And he's won more gold medals in a single Olympic games than any other athlete. He surpassed the record of seven golds set in 1972 at the Munich games by swimmer Mark Spitz.

I watched her in the stands and knew in my heart how Debbie Phelps felt. Any mom knows the feeling, whether it's the sound of the baseball cracking off the sweet spot on the bat and sailing over the left field fence, sticking the dismount off a balance beam, a three-point shot arcing into the net, dancing the perfect jazz dance routine, digging a hard-spiked volleyball, being the first across the finish line or winning that eighth gold medal. It's pride and joy and a little sense of wonder about where all that talent came from.

My boys ran track in high school, and #2 son attended college on a track scholarship. He was a state high school champion several times, and in college he held a number of conference titles. He doesn't compete at the Olympic level, but I still know how Debbie Phelps feels. Many times I stood on the sidelines of a cross country course or in the stands of a stadium and I yelled and clenched my fists and watched as my son dug deep down inside to pull out the very best he had to offer. And every time I watched him receive a gold medal, I smiled like I'd never smiled before. I also wondered where the talent came from because you'd have to put a gun to my head to get me to run a mile. The DH and I joke about it being some sort of weird genetic mutation.

When he was younger, before every race I'd tell him to "win me a medal." We went to watch him at one of his college conference championship meets. After he won the 1500 meter run, he came over to me and handed me his championship plaque. "It's not a medal," he said. "But I hope it will do." That plaque hangs on my office wall and is a constant reminder that anything you can conceive and believe, you can achieve.

These days he's a graduate student at the same university where he was a track star. He's majoring in PE and is a graduate assistant coach. His goal is to be a head coach some day and help others the way all his coaches helped him through the years. And I have absolutely no doubt he'll do precisely that. Sadly, though, track and field isn't a huge spectator sport in the US like it is in other countries. Many people equate watching a track meet to watching paint dry. But I can assure you that when your kid is on that track, it's the prettiest, most interesting paint in the world.

All over the world, other mothers are watching their children compete at every level of competition. Not all will be able to share in a victory. Some will be picking their children up from a last-place finish, dusting them off and encouraging them to try again. It's something we moms do very well because it's just part of the job.

Have you been watching the Olympic Games? If so, what's your favorite summer Olympics sport? And what's been your favorite Olympic moment?

P.S. Does anyone else find it ironic that the Encore Presentation at 2:00 AM is sponsored by Ambien, a prescription sleep medication?